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[DeathJesterr]

Sheperd: "Kasume, I was just wondering why you only ever talked about things in your room, why you never want to have full conversations with me, or try going out?"
Kasume: *sits silently on the couch, wearing the virtual reality visor from Keiji's greybox.*
Sheperd: "Er, Kasume? What are you watching?" *hacks into her visor with his omni tool and quickly shuts it back off.* "THAT's why she wanted it back so bad!"

Zaeed: "Hey Sheperd, I was wondering if i could use that facial reconstruction platform you got in the medbay, y'know, for my scars?"
Sheperd: "If you want, go ahead."
Zaeed: "Are you nuts? Hell no, these scars make me look rugged and manly. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to my Hello Kitty sticker collection."

Tali: "Sheperd, I found this down in engineering, but this doesn't look like any ship component I've ever seen before... do you know what its for?" *Hands sheperd whats obviously a vibrator--with Jack's name written on it.*
Sheperd: *facepalms*

Thane:  "Well Sheperd...  We've completed your mission, and I've survived, but this disease is going to kill me anyway.  I have decided what my final request is going to be."
Sheperd:  "Alright Thane, whatever you want, I'll do my best to make it happen for you, you were a great asset to the team and we couldn't of done it without you."
Thane: "Thankyou, Sheperd.  I want to be shot out the airlock completly nude in front of the Citadel viewports."
Sheperd:  "What the f...?  Why do I always attract the wierdos?"

Modifié par DeathJesterr, 12 avril 2010 - 07:40 .

[Isaiah Shepard]

Samara-"Find peace in the embrace of the....you know what? f#<k this! just die!"



Jack-"Come near me and I will splatter your brains all over the wall ****!"

Miranda-"Try it"

Jack-"God!!! I...I...I love your ****!!"

Miranda-"Your tattoos turn me on!!"

(lesbian sex scene)

Shepard-"I don't know whether to be turned on or s#!t myself"



Jack-"I want tattoo removal surgery"



Miranda-"Shepard, you cant take me on every mission...do you know how long it takes me to get my **** in this suit?"

[ObserverStatus]

Tali- Oh God... which key is the "any key"?

[jackkel dragon]

DeathJesterr wrote...

Sheperd: "Kasumi, I was just wondering why you only ever talked about things in your room, why you never want to have full conversations with me, or try going out?"
Kasumi: *sits silently on the couch, wearing the virtual reality visor from Keiji's greybox.*
Sheperd: "Er, Kasumi? What are you watching?" *hacks into her visor with his omni tool and quickly shuts it back off.* "THAT's why she wanted it back so bad!"

Reminds me of drell perfect  memory:

*Thane and Shepard get into bed. Shepard is about to kiss Thane as he starts grunting and shouting "harder!")
Shepard: Thane?
Thane: That's right! Do it!
Shepard: Thane...
Thane: Yes! Yes! *He falls off the bed and wakes up from his trance.*
Shepard: Thane?
Thane: Uh... yes?
Shepard: We haven't even started yet.
Thane: ...This may be a good time to mention my perfect memory...

[jackkel dragon]

Grunt: I am sorry I must do this. Requiescat in pace. (Rest in peace.)

I figured out the ending of ME3 recently, and I thought I'd put it in the voice of someone we may know:

Casy Hudson: We all know that the turian councillor is essential to the plot of ME3. If he died in the first game, he will be rebuilt/revived/found alive. In ME3, everyone in the galaxy will die except for Shepard and the turian councillor. They will have to team up, willing or not, to fight back the Reaper invasion. In the end, the two of them will be gunning down Reapers left and right from the top of a tall building. When all hope seems lost, Joker will fly in to save the day.

Edit: More...

Casey Hudson: Players will be able to name the turian councillor and select his background, and his (player-input) name will feature in fully-voiced cutscenes.

Modifié par jackkel dragon, 13 avril 2010 - 01:36 .

[jackkel dragon]

Saren: I find your lack of posts disturbing.

[Reaper27]

Mordin: EDI!!! Get out of my laboratory!!!



Vigil: Blah blah Reapers, blah blah Citadel, blah blah Protheans.

Shepard: Ooh I need to record this.

[Alraiis]

Wrex: Commander.
Shepard: Urdnot.

Kelly: Jack's tattoos are beautiful. Too bad she's such an unbearable c***.

Modifié par Alraiis, 16 avril 2010 - 10:27 .

[Link Ashland 614]

Harbinger: Assuming direct control of this... cheese?



Harbinger: I know you like cheese, Shepard.

[jackkel dragon]

Garrus: Yes! USB support for my ancient XBOX 360! Now I can finally mod all my Mass Effect 2 saves... No more planet scanning!

Shepard: What?

Garrus: Calibrations.

[ItsMjolnirTime]

Shepard: From now on, Legion, you are the new Commander Shepard.

Harbinger: I've had enough of you! DIE!

Shepard: SHEPARD PUNCH!!!!!!!!

Legion: Shepard-Commander!

(get the reference and winz the interweb)

[Goodwood]

In response to being faced with a new, large, Big Boss...



Shepard: I have a bad feeling about this...

Jacob: I have more of a lukewarm feeling about this...

Legion: We have no feelings.

[jackkel dragon]

Shepard: If we erase this sensitive data, it will also erase the memories of your dead boyfriend. What do you want to do?
Kasumi: He told me to break it. So we break it.
Shepard: Just like that?
Kasumi: How can I get it on with someone else while I have vivid memories of him? Besides, he was an idiot.
Shepard:...

Thane: I remember nothing. I blacked out... then I awoke in a place I didn't know anything of.
Shepard: So much for drell perfect memory.
Thane: That's a conspiracy theory. Just because we actually remember where we put our keys doesn't mean that we have perfect memory.

Samara: My atonement lies in self-sacrifice.
Shepard: So you have to kill your daughter?
Samara: No, don't be dense. I have to kill myself.

Wrex: I am delicious.
Uvenk: You are breaking traditions!... Sod it. If you want to eat yourself, go ahead.

Shepard: How hard did they sodding hit you?
Legion: Dragon Age references do not compute.

Garrus: He killed my whole squad. I want revenge.
Shepard: Cry me a river.
*EMO Garrus*

Garrus: I need more time to finish my inventigation. Stall them!
Pallin: Stall the Council? You can't be serious. You're investigation is over, Garrus.
*EMO Garrus*

News: In other news, a human infant was found dead this morning my C-Sec operatives. It apparently was shot in the face with a 12-gauge shotgun.
*Shepard turns to see that Wrex is holding a 12-gauge shotgun.*

Shepard: Anderson sucks.

Shepard: Udina rocks.

Shepard: This kicks rocks.
Garrus: What?
Shepard: It kicks rocks. It's cool.
Garrus: That will never catch on.

Legion: We have reached consensus that this situation kicks rocks.

Turian Councilor: For once, could we not be idiots in front of Shepard?
Asari Councilor: No.

Kasumi: Hey, Jacob. I was wondering if you wanted to... you know...
Jacob: I'm game. Let's get started.
*Jacob seals the doors*
Jacob: It's like sneaking into the Captain's quarters. Heavy risk. But the prize...
Kasumi: ...Creepy...
*Kasumi cloaks and breaks the window into the drive core to escape.*
Jacob: I got her there. Now it's time to get me some Tali...

[Cousland001]

JohnnyDollar wrote...

Shepard: You will do anything I say?
Samara: If you make me do anything extremely dishonorable, I may have to spank you Shepard.

This

[Mr.BlazenGlazen]

Miranda: Do i look like a descendant of Micheal Jackson to you?



Garrus: Finished my callibrations

Shepard: Thats great! Have a minute to talk?

Garrus: Can it wait a minute i'm in the middle of playing tetris



Tali: Actually, i did send active parts back to the flotilla, for the lulz.



Jacob: I have the best pick up lines in the galaxy



Legion- Commander Shepard



thats all i got.

[Kikaimegami]

jackkel dragon wrote...

Shepard: This kicks rocks.
Garrus: What?
Shepard: It kicks rocks. It's cool.
Garrus: That will never catch on.

Legion: We have reached consensus that this situation kicks rocks.

This made me snort my drink a little.

[jackkel dragon]

Asari Councilor: Shepard, step forward.
Turian Councilor: Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant. Join us in the task that cannot be forsaken. And should you perish, know that one day we too will join you.
Salarian Councilor: YOU MUST SUBMIT YOURSELF TO THE TAINT!
Shepard: ...What were you doing last night?
Asari: ...Playing Dragon Age.
Shepard: It shows.

Jacob: Look at this. *Kasumi smiles.* It's like sneaking into the captain's quarters. Heavy risk... but the prize.
Kasumi: *frowns* Creepy.

Harbinger: I am assuming direct control of the garbage disposal.
Zaeed: Wait, we have one of those?

Kaiden: Let me get this straight. You were brought back to life by Cerberus, so you help them. I got that. But then you put the Geth in the AI Core and a grizzly veteran in the room with the surveilance cameras. You force people who hate each other fight side-by-side. You allow the galaxy's greatest theif and assassin onto your ship without any kind of security. You activate alien technology in your ship on a regular basis without researching possible complications. You're gunning for a suicide mission just because you think you're that cool. You routinely walk through the most dangerous parts of the galaxy. Above all this, you're sleeping with your secretary.
Shepard: Yup.
Kaiden: Tell me the part about how you're going to get me on your team. I'm sure it will be very interesting.

Garrus: YES!  YES!
Shepard: What's going on?
Garrus: My Xbox has USB compatability, now I don't have to do that horrible planet-scanning anymore!
Shepard: I actually kind of like it...
Garrus: BLASPHEMY!

Shepard: You know, Geth and quarians might be able to set aside their differences and live in peace.
Tali: I can get bhind that.
Legion: BLASPHEMY! YOU SPEAK LIES!

Joker: *Shivers.*
Shepard: What's wrong?
Joker: What has been seen... cannot be un-seen...
EDI: Purging corrupted databases.
Joker: You suck. I have to live with this image for the rest of my life...

[gethspy]

Legion: Damnit Shepard! What about my needs!

[arek_celera]

Shepard: Turn the shuttle around, I think I forgot to turn off the coffee pot.

[gethspy]

Kaiden:Hang in there Shepard!

Shepard: The Prize, I can see it

Kaiden: Hacket! thank god you're here.

Hacket: Do you have the cypher?

Kaiden: We've got it sir

Hacket: Good, thats one less loose end. (shoots Shepard)

Kaiden: noooooo

(Hacket shoots Kaiden)

[jackkel dragon]

Joker: We lost the whole crew.
Shepard: What? NO!
*Shepard runs up to his cabin.*
Shepard: Please no... please no...
Hamster: *squeak*
Shepard: Boo! You're alive!
Boo: *squeak! He chews on a collector eye.*
Shepard: Good Boo! When all else fails, go for the eyes!

[jackkel dragon]

Illusive Man: Shepard, I have to say that I was wrong all this time.
Shepard: You really mean that?
Illusive Man: Yes. I've seen the reasons you disobeyed my every command, and understand them. I also want to understand you.
Shepard: Get over here...

Nihlus: Saren?
Saren: Nihlus.
*Nihlus shoots Saren.*
Nihlus: Now I can finally take my rightful place as the main villain!
BioWare: Assuming Direct Control.
*Nihlus dies and Saren wakes up.*

Illusive Man: I'm gonna get you, Shepard. You should have listened to me.
Shepard: That's not gonna happen. I hired on some extra help. They weren't on your dossiers, but you may recognise them.
Illusive Man: What...
*Altair and Ezio (From Assassin's Creed) gang up and murder the Illusive Man.*

Shepard: Next up: Reaper milkshakes!

[ObserverStatus]

Legion: This is our rifle. There are many like it, but this one is ours. Our
rifle is our best friend. It is our life. We must master it as we must
master our lives. Our rifle, without us, is useless. Without our rifle, we are
useless. We must fire our rifle true. We must shoot straighter than our
enemy who is trying to kill us. We must shoot him before he shoots us.

[Margaret_TheElf]

Shepard: for the love of God! Don't you ever take a breath?

Mordin: Right! Yes! I..will..try...to...slow...down. Yes. Yes! That...is....working.

[Valikdu]

[Shepard enters Samara's room]

[Samara stands up and turns to Shepard. Her biotic field suddenly turns red as do her eyes.]

Shepard: Samara?

Samara: All of this has happened before and all of it will happen again.

Shepard: What are you-

Samara: You are the harbinger of death, Kara Thrace Shepard. You will lead them all to their end.

[Samara's field disappears and she collapses. Paragon interrupt: catch her]