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[Nightwriter]

Miranda: Let's talk about Akuze. I bet you have some feelings about that. We should address it.

[JackhammerGR]

Shepard, Tali and Garrus, opening the gate where the M-44 hammerhead is.



Shepard: This is great!!!



Tali: Oh, keelah.



Garrus: Why does everything have to be like old times?



Shepard: It has turbo boost too!!!



Garrus and Tali: Let me out!!! Let me out now!!!

[jackkel dragon]

Miranda: We must find the star maps!

Miranda: I'm the paragon of virtue and goodness, and will berate human failings while I "forget" my terrible arrogance! I will never turn to the dark side!
Renegade Shepard: You will be evil and you will like it.
Miranda: Okay.

Kaidan: I'm going to whine about my past betrayals and expect you to listen! I'm going to show human flaws and my fanbase will (rightly) defend my whining as a character flaw that grants me realism! I will also cheat on my dead wife in front of my son.

Samara: Pull up a stump and help me fight Czerka. I mean, Ardat-Yakshi.

*Grunt: I am not a killer. I am not a killer.

Grunt: I've been programed to kill. You happen to be my former master.

(I'd like to see who knows where the references came from, specifically. I based all except the *Grunt line on KOTOR.)

Saren: They never told you, did they? You were my former master. But now I am the master.

[Reaper27]

Shepard: Hey, Garrus. I upgraded the med-bay. You've got just enough time to fix your scars before we start the suicide mission.
Garrus: Can it wait a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations.
Shepard: Oh come on man, it took me forever to scan all those planets for-
Garrus: Calibrations!

Shepard: See, I told you we could take down the Shadow Broker if you let me help you.
Liara: You were right Shepard. I have no idea what I was thinking.
Shepard: So... you'll come with me now?
Liara: Yes, Shepard. I look forward to it.
Shepard: Sweet. Maybe I can show you my new cabin and we can-
Garrus: Hey, uh guys. I don't mean to interrupt this romanic moment but this cup of coffee you left on the desk for me is revolting.
Shepard:
Garrus: Do you mind if I get myself a glass of water to wash the taste away?
Liara:
Garrus: What? Wasn't I meant to drink that?

Modifié par Reaper27, 04 mai 2010 - 12:56 .

[Liosha]

(talking slowly) Mordin: Heeello Sheepard... As youuuu can seeee I smoooked some weeeeed and now I spoke slooooower then beeefooore.



After 5 hours:

(talking fast) Mordin: Hi, Shepard, I'v rested, feel good, need to work, again, sorry for smoking on Normandy, never again, don't be angry, need to go, talk later.

[fable13]

Ashley on Horizon: Shepard, I have something to tell you.

Shepard: What is it Ash, you can tell me anything.

Ashley: Remember that night we made love?

Shepard: *grins* Oh, yeah.

Ashley: Well, I got pregnant. I think we need to talk custody.

Shepard: *points randomly* Oh look, Collectors..... Ummm, gotta run.... Talk later 'mkay!!!

[fable13]

Garrus: Can it wait a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations.

Shepard: Okay, I see what you did there. Trying to avaoid conversation. But I will ask the same question until you speak Mister. *waits*

Garrus: Ah Geez Shepard, can you give me a break.

[Rocket Weazle]

TheIllusiveMan: Doctor Freeemannn.

Liara: killing the shadow broker is a bad idea, I wont get consumed by revenge while the whole Galaxy is at risk... I'll join your crew Shepard.

Miranda: you know for all his faults... My dad was a good father.

Garrus: let's talk for a bit, I've done all my calibrations...

Jack: killing is wrong, no matter what the circumstance.

Kelly: I slept with Urz...

Joker: I'll be in the AI core. If you hear any snapping, DON'T come In.

[jackkel dragon]

Jacob: Hey Garrus, you owe me five thousand credits.
Garrus: You didn't.
Jacob: I did.
Garrus: How did she react?
Jacob: It was hilarious. You had to be there.
Garrus: Damn. Here's the money. I didn't think you had it in you.
Jacob: It's a heavy risk... but the prize.

[kglaser]

jackkel dragon wrote...

Jacob: Hey Garrus, you owe me five thousand credits.
Garrus: You didn't.
Jacob: I did.
Garrus: How did she react?
Jacob: It was hilarious. You had to be there.
Garrus: Damn. Here's the money. I didn't think you had it in you.
Jacob: It's a heavy risk... but the prize.

[Azint]

jackkel dragon wrote...

Jacob: Hey Garrus, you owe me five thousand credits.
Garrus: You didn't.
Jacob: I did.
Garrus: How did she react?
Jacob: It was hilarious. You had to be there.
Garrus: Damn. Here's the money. I didn't think you had it in you.
Jacob: It's a heavy risk... but the prize.

Okay, that was good.

[jackkel dragon]

kglaser wrote...

jackkel dragon wrote...

Jacob: Hey Garrus, you owe me five thousand credits.
Garrus: You didn't.
Jacob: I did.
Garrus: How did she react?
Jacob: It was hilarious. You had to be there.
Garrus: Damn. Here's the money. I didn't think you had it in you.
Jacob: It's a heavy risk... but the prize.

Severed Geth Head: Hey, everyone! Why da long faces?

[Sand King]

T.I.M.: Shepard...You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... WITH... A HERRING!

[gurlgotkat]

shepherd- garrus what does your scouter say about zaeed

garrus- it's over 9000!!!!

shepherd-lol wut?!

-----

[jackkel dragon]

Shepard: I'm looking for some fun.

(Rayya Captain, can't remember the name): Get that Geth of my ship!
Legion: You no want Legion?
RC: No! Never!
Legion: Okay. *shoots himself*
Tali: No!!!!!

Grunt: *calmly, cradling a kill* Recquiscat in pace.

Illusive Man: You slept with Miranda?
Jacob: It was a heavy risk... but the prize...

Jacob: You betrayed Cerberus?
Wilson: It's a heavy risk... but the prize...
Jacob: You stole my line.

Shepard: Hey Garrus. Still calibrating the weapons systems?
Garrus: No, I'm watching some new vids. Catching up, you know. By the way, some of the crew do strange things near the bugs.
Shepard: I'd have thought they knew about the bugs.
Garrus: Me too. *looks at the screen closer* Jack?! Miranda?!
Shepard: Hell no.

[Festi]

Femshep: All I really want with any of my crew is a strong and completely platonic bond of friendship.



Legion: Shepard-Commander. We have reached a consensus. Would you bust a move with us?

[gethspy]

Zaeed: I am pain is cupcake
Shepard:
Zaeed: I will eat you:lol:

[jackkel dragon]

Harbinger: This changes nothing. Your species has the attention of those--
Shepard: Assuming direct control of this story.
Harbinger: Noooo!!!!
Collector General: What happened? Did he win?
Harbinger: He stole my line!

[Turdmuncher38]

Harbinger: need i say it...



(someplace else)



Legion: Shepard Commander, we have reached a consensus. And the consensus that we have reached is that we have reached a consensus so by logic the consensus we have reached is the consenus of the consensus that we have......rerererererererREREREREEEEEEEEEEE



Legion's bursts into dance while his brian burns away

Shepard just stands there in confusion....slowly pulling pulling out his omni tool to record this moment

[Turdmuncher38]

YOU LIKE !!!???????????????????

[Valikdu]

I should go.



...wait

[Relinquished2]

Grunt: ... and that ended ended the second world war. See tank imprent 1-39.

Shepard: [singing to Jack] You've... got a beautifull... bald head! I think it's so divine! you're... bald head can... refleeeeeeeect... LAZERZ!!

EDIT:
Mordin: DOCTOR MORDIN-DONOPUSS!! [BLARHGGGGGGGG!!!]
Shepard: I'MMA FIRRIN' ME LAZORZ!!!
Shepard: I'MMA FIRRIN'... A mediocre employee.

Modifié par Relinquished2, 08 mai 2010 - 09:30 .

[Turdmuncher38]

after reaper cutscene

Shepard: oh fu-

[Sailears]

Reaper27 wrote...

Harbinger: RELEASING CONTROL.
Collector General: By the Goddess, that was incredible!

[Highdragonslayer]

*The Normandy crashes on a random planey*



Shepard: Well thanks to Joker's spectactuler flying we need to find food so we don't die. We need our techies to stay and make a distress call and repair the ship, Legion, Grunt, and I will find food and maybe a research outpost, alright everyone move out!



*Shepard and his squad come across an odd alien life form that resembles a human*



Shepard: Hey there little guy, do you know where your father is?



Sandal: Enchantment!



Shepard: Oh you want my gun? Here you can play with my gun for a bit.



Sandal: Online



Shepard: Did someone just hear a Ymir heavy mech?



Sandal: Target confirmed, Commander Shepard crime commited, handing lethal fire arm to challenged minor crime punishable by death. Reaching decision, standby...



Shepard: Is this a joke the council is playing?



Sandal: Confirmed action: total annihilation artillery barrage commence.



*Guns and rockets come out of his body*



Shepard: AWWWWWWWWWWWW FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU



*Shepard's head explodes*



100 years later...



Harbringer: We must seach this planet for any space faring life and our goals will be complete.



Sandal: Online, target confirmed....