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[jackkel dragon]

zvbxrpl wrote...

Male Shepard: Hey, Joker, I've got to ask you about something that's really bugging me. Tell me seriously now, man to man, is my smile creepy?

Joker: Is that a trick question? Are you gonna go all "Joker, you shouldn't talk that way to a commanding officer!" Or something like "why can't you tell it how it is?" No, I'm on to your games Commander. I'm done.
Shepard: ...Is that a yes or a no?

[Homebound]

Shepard: This is your commander speaking, we've come a long way and lost a lot of good people. But soon we'll show our enemies what we're made of. This isn't about humanity, its bigger than that. All life in the galaxy is at risk, thats the scale, thats the risk. And that is why, it is my duty and honor to announce that the SSV Normandy-2 has been officially christened as the SSV Loveboat. I expect all romanceable characters in my cabin pronto.

[Methodical Mute]

Shepard: Why are you green?
Shiala: Screw you!

Modifié par Methodical Mute, 21 juin 2010 - 10:02 .

[Noisrevni0424]

ASSUMING CONTROL



IF I MUST TEAR YOU... AHH! ****! THIS HURTS!



RELEASING CONTROL

[Siansonea]

Commander Shepard: "Why me?! Why can't somebody else deal with all this galaxy-saving stuff!"



Ambassador Udina: "What do you think, __________?"



Turian Councilor: "I have no opinion."



Jeff "Joker" Moreau: "I don't know if I can fly through that."



Kaidan Alenko: "I'm going to beat you up. Then I'm going to take your lunch money."



Ashley Williams: "Should I get a perm? Maybe some highlights? Does this Phoenix armor make me look fat?"



Liara T'Soni: "Have you faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have." Oh, wait...



Urdnot Wrex: "Be reasonable, Shepard."



Garrus Vakarian: "Gross, you're a human Shepard. Keep it in your pants!"



Tali'Zorah vas Puberty: "Gross, you're a human Shepard. Keep it in your pants!"



Miranda Lawson: "I was wrong, and I'm sorry."



Jacob Taylor: "Tactically, I think this is the best option." (Applicable only if the statement actually IS the best option.)



Mordin Solus: "Slow down."



Grunt: "Should I send the Glass Mother a card for Mother's Day, Shepard?"



Jack: "Guess what Sheppikins! Miranda and I are best friends now!"



Samara: "I just don't know what to do!"



Thane: "Hey Shepard, why don't you sit down and chat for awhile? I am so bored in here."



Legion: "Exterminate!!!"



EDI: "Did I ever tell you I used to be a Cylon? It's true y'all."

[Methodical Mute]

Shepard: What do they do here that you don't like, Elnora?

Elnora: The captain makes me clean the toilets with a toothbrush.

[jackkel dragon]

Kaidan: What a sweet guy. He should get the Reaper congeniality medal.

Kaidan: Whoever left the medigel here should get a medal.

Kaidan: Rule number one: never say no to medigel.

Kadian: Down you go! *pistol flourish*

Niftu Cal: I am a Biotic God! I think things... and they happen!
Shepard: Look pal, I don't know what drugs you're on but I want some.

[RenownedRyan]

jackkel dragon wrote...

Kaidan: What a sweet guy. He should get the Reaper congeniality medal.

Kaidan: Whoever left the medigel here should get a medal.

Kaidan: Rule number one: never say no to medigel.

Kadian: Down you go! *pistol flourish*

Niftu Cal: I am a Biotic God! I think things... and they happen!
Shepard: Look pal, I don't know what drugs you're on but I want some.

Aww.  Beat me too it. Nice reference.  I lol'd.

[CrapCommando]

Tali: Jesus it gets whiffy in this suit, think I might get it dry cleaned. Got a top I can borrow Miranda?

Any ME1 Party member: I can follow you easily Shepard, the terrain is not too rough and I don't need an airlift. I am also not a useless whiner who lets you do all the killing.

Modifié par CrapCommando, 22 juin 2010 - 04:05 .

[yogolol]

Miranda: Ceberus has a large bounty for a intact geth

Shepard: Alright you can have Legion

[jackkel dragon]

Shepard: Hey. What'ya doing?
Harbinger: Harvesting galaxies. You?
Shepard: Not much. Just saving galaxies.
Harbinger: I really must be goin', old chap.
Shepard: Cheerio.

[yogolol]

Thane: I'm a atheist

[CrapCommando]

Harbinger: I know this hurts you Shepard. Oh F..k me! What the hell was that?! Something bit he something bit me!

[MajorStranger]

Garrus: Ok Shepard, I finished Calibrating. What did you want to talk about?

[ieraceu]

Kaiden or Ashley Virmire scene (The one I wish could've had):

Ashley: Heads up L.T. we just spotted a troop ship headed to your location.
Kaiden: It already here. There's geth pouring out all over the bomb site.
Shepard: Can you hold them off?
Kaiden:There's too many. I don't think we can survive until you get here.
Kaiden: I'm activating the bomb.
Shepard: What the hell are you doing Alenko?
Kaiden: I'm just making sure this bomb going off. No matter what.
Kaiden: Its done Commander. Go get Williams and get the hell out of here.
Ashley: Screw that! We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Alenko.
Shepard: Wait a minute. You two have been whining and *****ing the whole storyline and now you want to be some big god**** heroes?
Shepard: You know what? **** you both. I'm out of here.

Modifié par ieraceu, 22 juin 2010 - 04:57 .

[kennyv217]

Jack: *hugs The Illusive Man*

[GtarTravis]

Aria T'Loak: So does anyone have any ideas to contribute to our wonderful settlement of Omega? After all, this is a democracy!

[Inquisitor Recon]

Wrex: You know Shepard it would be polite of you to say more than just "Wrex" when talking to me.

Miranda: Lets send some of these nameless Cerberus guys to do that for us.

EDI: Taking your entire squad on the shuttle and leaving would be tactically unsound. In fact we ought to test out the IFF in a secure area where we could get backup.

Liara: Eh, why am I trying to hunt down this Shadow Broker guy again? This is boring.

Thane: How am I supposed to remember that?

Engineer Donnelly: Dammit Tali stop hovering around the engine room, you can't even use a wrench right with three fingers!
Tali: *Runs off and cries*

TIM: I thought we should meet face to face to get to know each other and spill a few drinks.

Dr. Chakwas: Dammit Shepard, I'm a doctor, not an alcoholic!
Shepard: Right...

Garrus: *Enters Shepard cabin* Hey have a minute to talk?
Shepard: Can it wait a minute? I'm in the middle of pointlessly pressing random buttons on my terminal over here.

Kelly: Shepard, I'm going to have to report you to the Illusive Man if you keep trying to sleep with all of the female crew members on this ship.

TIM: They say he's one of the best, and somebody you can trust. *presses button*
Joker: Hey commander, I... OW!
Shepard: That's for getting me killed, losing my ship, and spending all of my credits on questionable extranet sites.

Modifié par ReconTeam, 22 juin 2010 - 05:08 .

[CroGamer002]

jackkel dragon wrote...

News: In other news, a human infant was found dead this morning my C-Sec operatives. It apparently was shot in the face with a 12-gauge shotgun.
*Shepard turns to see that Wrex is holding a 12-gauge shotgun.*

That would happen and that did happen( Fist).

Turian Councilor: For once, could we not be idiots in front of Shepard?
Asari Councilor: No.

Correction.
Asari Councilor: Your right.



Because that wouldn't happen.

[CroGamer002]

jackkel dragon wrote...


Shepard: What would Jesus do?
Harbinger: He would... *puts on shades* ...assume direct control.  

YEEAAAAHH!!!!!!!

[CroGamer002]

Fem Shep: Why do I have to choose? Can't I have you both?

Kaidan: HELL YEAH!

[Meddler89]

Annoyed human in front of Afterlife: Come on, let me out!

[CROAT_56]

x75flames wrote...

Thane: wow, only 8 faitle flaws in seccurity!
Garrus: Ya this place is tight lick that.

Shep - Thats what she said

Edit: Sorry i had to haha

Modifié par CROAT_56, 22 juin 2010 - 08:43 .

[Solmanian]

Grunt: i'm tired of all this senseless violence.



Shepard: Dr. Chakwas, this is an intervention.



legion: meatbag commander?



Zaaed: this reminds of the time i worked as a male prostitute on omega.

[Forst1999]

Samara: What was the name of the ship she left on?

Eclipse Merc: Go to hell!

Samara: Find peace in the arms of the goddess!

Eclipse Merc: No! "Go to Hell" was the name of the ship!

Samara: Oh. Ok. Cheerio!



Shepard: Ashley, kiss this Krogan!

Ash: No.

Shepard: But you said...

Ash: I said i would kiss Turians.

Shepard: But why no Krogans?

Ash: Actually i was hoping you would order me to kiss Garrus. He's classy.



Reaper #64: Okay, Sovereign's plan was rather silly, but Harbinger's...

Reaper #203: That was just as bad!

Harbinger: Hey! That hurts me!

Reaper # 87: Remember: Only positive critique!

Repaer #203: OK, i'm sorry, Harbi.

Reaper # 64: Whatever.What are we gonna do?

Reaper # 7: Stop reaping?

Reaper # 554: No! You guys get boring, we need a few new reapers soon. #83 is telling the same knock-knock-jokes for the last 12000 years! I'm sure a human reaper would be great company!

Reaper # 809: Then we have to walk?

Reaper #64: No, don't be silly.