989 réponses à ce sujet

[Solmanian]

Thane: hey, turns out those "memory flashes" were actually seizures. Next time i start blabbing about my past pls stick a credit chit in my mouth, so i wont bite my toungue...

Shepard: Damn it Kelly! why can't u filter my spam mail?

[Solmanian]

TIM: we believe the collectors are working for the reapers.

Shepard: Ah yes, "Reapers".

[Reaper27]

Kasumi: I'm the best thief in the business but not the best known. I need to watch my step to keep it that way.
Shepard: I want to hire you for my crew.
C-Sec Officer: That guy over by the sign said he wants to hire a thief! You all heard him!
Shepard: What? No! You don't understand!
(Shepard gets tackled to the ground by C-Sec officers and dragged into C-Sec headquarters)
Kasumi: I should go.

[amcnow]

Shepard: www.youtube.com/watch
Liara:  By the goddess, Shepard, that was horrible!

[Ashira Shepard]

Grunt: (at Shepard) "Stop firing." It usually means "stop firing."

[ResidentNoob]

Harbinger: You know what? Let's not invade the Milky Way. It is a silly place.

[jackkel dragon]

Mesina2 wrote...

News: In other news, a human infant was found dead this morning by C-Sec operatives. It apparently was shot in the face with a 12-gauge shotgun.
*Shepard turns to see that Wrex is holding a 12-gauge shotgun.*

That was actually from "Mass Fail," a YouTube video I found. I liked the scene near the end of that video:
Shopkeeper: So... uh... you... will be, uh, paying for the stuff you broke... right?
Wrex: *stares for ten sceonds* Why of course my good man. I always keep my wallet here, loaded. *reloads shotgun*

----------------

Shepard: Tali touched my heart, but Kasumi stole it.

[zvbxrpl]

Jack: Hey, while you're at the Citadel, could you pick me up the new Belle & Sebastian album? I'm really in the mood for something cute and quirky.



Miranda: Commander. What can I do for you?

Shepard: Hey, Assbutt! How you doin'?



Tali: You know, the great thing about environmental suits is that you can just relieve yourself in them any time you want. Really. Actually, I'm taking a ****** right now. Ahh...

[CrapCommando]

Reaper: What did you say this galaxy was called again?
2nd Reaper: The Milky Way
1st Reaper: The Milky Wa- this the wrong bloody galaxy! I told you not to send Sovreign, no sense of direction!
3rd Reaper: And I told you we should have bought a map at the last petrol station! But no you were too busy flirting with the girl behind the counter.
Reaper Leader: Okay calm down everybody. We're nearly there now, we might as well just keep going there. Sovreign said there was this great bar called Choras Den on the Citadel. I say we go there, get sh!t faced, watch some strippers and buy a map.
All reapers: HELL YES!
Reaper Leader: But if Choras Den is closed then we'll rip this galaxy a new one.

[jackkel dragon]

Advertisement: Commander Shepard buys DLC, don't you want to be like Commander Shepard?

[Arhka]

Legion: Meatbag.



Oh wait...

[smudboy]

4 month old thread? What's this, not being locked?

[InvaderErl]

I think Smud feels his thread was unfairly locked.

[jackkel dragon]

smudboy wrote...

4 month old thread? What's this, not being locked?

1 - Moderators led threads that aren't posted in die, unless spam or necroposters arrive.
2 - This thread still has some activity every few days.
3 - Because I'm just that awesome.

On topic:
--------------------------------

Illusive Man: Shepard? Are you even listening to me?
Shepard: Nope. I can't hear anything over the sound of how awesome I am.

[JackhammerGR]

Renegade shep: Ok I will help you with your problem

Random batarian:Of course why would you help someone....***hole

Renegade Shep: But I will help you...

Random batarian: **** off!!!

Renegade Shep:*pulls out gun* I will help you, like it or not!

Random batarian: Of course...threatening you humans is the only th-

Renegade Shep: I've had enough of this...*renegade interupt. Shoots batarian in the face*



Tip of the day: Once you earn a certain reputation...Stick with it

[Tooneyman]

Shepard: Get the credit chip!

[Raanz]

Shepard: Forget about Udina and the Council, come with me after the Collectors.

Anderson: Ah, what the hell. Let's go.

[BlackQ]

Sovereign "You exist because we want the cookies only u are able to make, and you will give it to us because we demand it."

Modifié par BlackQ, 25 juin 2010 - 08:54 .

[Capta1nJack91]

Random merc: Friends Everywhere!

Random merc: I will create you!



Shepard (to Legion): How do geth reproduce?

Legion: Way too much data

[Inquisitor Recon]

Wrex: Wrex



Shepard: Shepard

[jackkel dragon]

Kaidan: Why did you betray us, Shepard?
Shepard: for teh lulz

*Kasumi is reading hot Mass Effect romance fanfiction*
Shepard: Hey, what're you reading?
Kasumi: Get out! Get out now!
Shepard: What is she looking at?
Legion: ...system failure.

[ForcedDj7]

In well, horrible things yesterday/today, let this tell you:

Shepard: Light, Liara, where the hell is emo whiner, I mean Alenko?
Liara: I don't know Shepard, and Ashley also doesn't know.
Joker: Uh, commander, I know where he is, in the rec room, with a few female crew members as well.
Shepard: Okay, Liara, Light, Kasumi, we have to see what the hell he is doing there.
Kasumi: How did you know I was here?

*in the rec room, Shep, Grunt, Liara, Light, Kasumi, and a couple people see what is going on*
Alenko: Hey commander, saw one of the best mov.....
Shepard: WHAT, THE, ****, IS, THAT?
Kasumi: Good god, why are you watching that
Alenko: But, I thought you would love that movie, it has romance, and vam....
Kasumi: I think that book series and movie series is the worst piece of **** in the history of mankind.
Miranda: Not really
Jack: What, okay, commander, permission to kill Miranda for even liking that book?
Shepard: Permission denied, I got a better plan.
Mordin: What is plan, gunshot, no too quick, flamethrower, no, too strong, las.....
Light: Shut up.
Shepard: Okay, anyone know lift or something?

*few seconds later, the rec room is empty, with the crew there and Alenko and Miranda being lifted and sent through the airlock*
Crewmember 1: HELP US
Crewmember 2: If we call upon the power of that movie, they will save us
Alenko: I don't think that will work
Miranda: Its worth a try

*after a few minutes, only a few crewmembers, Alenko, and Miranda are left*

Ashley: I see them.
Jack: I think they suffered enough.
Shepard: No.

*gunshots, the last few are dead*

Shepard: Now its done.
Light: Nice shot Shepard.
Shepard: So, who wants to watch I am Legend?
Kasumi: How about Citadel 2?
Shepard: fine, I am in it anyways.
Tali: What happened after the airlock Shepard?
Shepard: Well Tali, they were holding hands and doing some weird things, thinking it worked, but they lost too much air and died instead.
Tali: Why?
*Shepard tells what happened*
Tali: That's horrible!
Shepard: I don't want that thing on my ship.
Tali: I mean you should have let me use the shotgun on them, then have Chikkita attack them, then throw them out of the airlock.
Shepard: Oh. Next time that happens, you can do the honors.
Tali: Thank you Shepard.

I don't know which is worse, that people still like that book series, or that it survived in the 2100s. At least I am Legend is also alive there.

Modifié par ForcedDj7, 02 juillet 2010 - 02:27 .

[jackkel dragon]

ForcedDj7 wrote...
*ME story about that movie series*

Cool story brogan. Seriously, I liked that one.

---------------------------------

Kelly: Come on, Jacob. You should ask her out.
Jacob: I don't know... It's a heavy risk, Kelly.
Kelly: But the prize...
Jacob: ...Never say that again.

(This next one is what I plan to use for a comic, by the way.)
Shepard: Hey, Kaidan. I was hoping you could help me--
Kaidan: Cerberus phails
Shepard: Okay... but I thought you could--
Kaidan: Alliance ftw!
Shepard: It would be easier if I had some non-Cerberus squadmates.
Kaidan: Cerberus eats babies for teh lulz
Shepard: Don't you remember what we went through? Indoctrination, Reapers, end of galactic civilization?
Kaidan: lol wut
Shepard: ENGLISH, MOTHER****ER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?
*Garrus and Kasumi = wide eyes*
Kaidan: lulz
*Garrus and Kasumi = Quadruple Facepalm*