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Lines that ME characters would never say.


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#951
ADLegend21

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bobobo878 wrote...

Shepard: ...
Ashley: ...
Miranda: What's their problem?
Garrus: Ashley is mad at Shepard for joining Cerberus, and Shepard is mad at Ashley for shooting Wrex. I don't think they're going to talk.
Miranda: Well tell them to hurry up, the Illusive man is going to think the collectors got us.

the best one I've seen in a while. Image IPB

#952
Woodsworth

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Jacob: I really don't want the Priiize



Shepard: I don't appreciate your disingenuous assertions (wait he does say that)

#953
jackkel dragon

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Cpt. Gavorn: Necro? Thread? Ha!

Reaper27 wrote...

Tela Vasir: I can't get a lock!


If only...

#954
Sailears

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Markinator_123 wrote...

****pushes merc out of window****
Shepard: How about goodbye?
Garrus D***, he's not going to be in Mass Effect 3

*****Shepard and Garrus start laughing*****

Nice one. :lol:

#955
MisterDyslexo

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Markinator_123 wrote...

****pushes merc out of window****
Shepard: How about goodbye?
Garrus D***, he's not going to be in Mass Effect 3

*****Shepard and Garrus start laughing*****


Nice! You get a yummy cookie ;)

#956
MrFob

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Nihlous: I die faster on my own!

Admiral Hacket: Not necessary Shepard, we are fine but thanks for asking.

Shep (when swarmed by husks/collectors/vorcha): ENEMIES EVERYWHERE!!!

Modifié par MrFob, 14 octobre 2010 - 03:59 .


#957
GenericTurianFive

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*Somewhere, in deep space*



Harbinger: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

Oh! Sovereign has to reactivate the conduit!



Sovereign: Son of a-

#958
Soviet Vodka

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adneate wrote...

Soviet Vodka wrote...
TIM: Moist (I mean just picture him saying that god-awful word)


I can see it!

"Shepard one more thing"

*Long slow drag on a cigarette*

"Keep it moist."



First off, I almost puked after imagining that.

Second, I have a new one!

*We see Tim in his chair, datapad in one hand, cigarette in the other*

*Camera pans into a close up of his face, slightly above the bottom his nose*

*He raises one eyebrow in curiosity at something we cant see on the datapad*

*His eyebrow lowers and he takes a long, slow drag on the cigarette*

*He then blows out the smoke, slowly and sensually*

"Ahh, buttsex"


-------------------------------------

Another!


Asari councillor: I think I'm pregnant, and you're the father!

*Turian councillor punches her in stomach hard*


"I HAVE DISMISSED THAT CLAIM!"

#959
Nightwriter

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Jacob: Can we talk? I need to unload onto someone.

Samara: Yeah, I could've chased after that purse snatcher, but I had a taco in my hand. And I thought, "But the taco!"

Jack: Sorry about my attitude. I'm having a bad hair day.

Zaeed: To this goddamn day Udina will not admit that we were lovers. But our love was real. There was one day, I wore fuchsia garter hose and we rented a room at Azure... 15 men died. Only he and I came back alive.

Captain Bailey: NO JAYWALKING! JAYWALKING IS STRICTLY ILLEGAL! YOU THERE! NO LITTERING!

Xen: Every year 50,000 geth die because of Spamware. Please, won't you help save a geth today? A mere five credits a month is all it takes to make a difference...

#960
MrFob

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Shepard: OK, Conrad, I get it, you want to be the big badass. But the fact that you have REPLICA written down you combat armor...

[zoom on Conrads armor which has indeed REPLICA engraved on it]

--- and that I have N7 written on mine...

[zoom on Sheps armor with N7 logo on it]

... should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... F**k off!



(I can actually see that happening :))

#961
Giggles_Manically

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TIM: Shepard just one more thing before you hit the relay.
Shep:What.
<TIM sets up a table, a blender, and a new I DataPad>

TIM: WILL IT BLEND, that is the question?

Modifié par Giggles_Manically, 15 octobre 2010 - 03:26 .


#962
Mr. Gogeta34

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Udina: Shepard I love you.

______________________________________________


TIM:  Shepard... I've decided I'm gonna go turn myself in to the Citadel Council.... and I'd appreciate it if you'd... shoot me in the leg.

______________________________________________

Ashley:  Meet my new boyfriend Shepard... he's a Vorcha that graduated from the Alliance top of his class.  "Though some work of noble note is yet to be done on his face"

Vorcha:  "GAAAAAAGGHHHH!!"

Modifié par Mr. Gogeta34, 15 octobre 2010 - 03:30 .


#963
jackkel dragon

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Giggles_Manically wrote...

TIM: Shepard just one more thing before you hit the relay.
Shep:What.


TIM: WILL IT BLEND, that is the question?


I can't believe it took us forty pages to get to the does it blend jokes.

#964
MisterDyslexo

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Soviet Vodka wrote...

Asari councillor: I think I'm pregnant, and you're the father!

*Turian councillor punches her in stomach hard*

"I HAVE DISMISSED THAT CLAIM!"


I can totally see that as a renegade interrupt in ME3 :devil:

#965
Guest_avalon30_*

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Aria: Shepard, it's a pleasure to see you again so soon. Please make yourself comfortable. Can I get you something to drink? A coffee, perhaps?

Morinth: Let's just cuddle.

Modifié par avalon30, 15 octobre 2010 - 06:12 .


#966
Blackbelt749

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MisterDyslexo wrote...

Jack: "But I don't wanna be a pirate!"


Well, we know she wouldn't wear the puffy shirt.

#967
Schneidend

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Chronoflect99 wrote...

Grunt: Where did I put that book I was reading?


Grunt reads Hemingway, making him better read than 90% of, well, everybody on modern day Earth.

Nozybidaj wrote...

Lines that ME characters would and did say because their character developed in a way some fans might not like but should accept and move on.


Liara:
And when I find the Shadow Broker, I hit him with a biotic field so
strong that what's left of his body will fit into a coffee cup.


Fix'd that up there, for ya. No thanks are necessary.

#968
jackkel dragon

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@Schneidend: Agree with you on the second count, but that was months ago...



--------



Shadow Broker: You travel with fascinating companions, doctor. I was unaware you were acquainted with Dr. T'Soni.

#969
magelet

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Any krogan: Y'know I just don't feel like headbutting anyone today...

#970
Schneidend

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jackkel dragon wrote...

@Schneidend: Agree with you on the second count, but that was months ago...


Well, you know what the klingons say...something about dishes...and cold...-ness?

Really, I just like to point out how much of a ridiculous whiner Nozy is, no matter how late I am in doing so.

On-Topic:
Shadow Broker: Time to catch up on my stories. I bet Darek is going to break up with Aelyta today. Ho ho, but he doesn't know she's carrying his mind-baby. The juicy lies we tell those we love, yyyeeeesss..!

#971
Finnish Dragon

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Miranda: You are very beautiful Jack.

Jack: Tell me something I do not know.

Miranda: But you always dress in such rags. It suits you I suppose. A little tattoo here and clothes which reveal a lot. I understand.

Jack: You understand I lived in Purgatory, I hope?

Miranda: Maybe we could get you in a nice dress one day. Silk. No, maybe velvet. Velvet is heavier, better to guard against the cold in space. Dark red velvet, yes. With gold embroidery. It should be cut low in the front of course, we don't want to hide your features.

Jack: Stop looking at my breasts like that. 'Tis most disturbing!

Miranda: You don't think so? And if it's cut low in the front we must put your hair up to show off that lovely neck.

Jack: You are insane. I would sooner let Garrus dress me.

Miranda: It'll be fun, I promise! We'll get some shoes too! Ah, shoes! We could go shopping together!

#972
betd2

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adneate wrote...

"Shepard one more thing"

*Long slow drag on a cigarette*

"Keep it moist."


It's even worse if he said it to a Fem Shepard.

#973
jackkel dragon

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Finnish Dragon wrote...

Miranda: You are very beautiful Jack.
Jack: Tell me something I do not know.
Miranda: But you always dress in such rags. It suits you I suppose. A little tattoo here and clothes which reveal a lot. I understand.
Jack: You understand I lived in Purgatory, I hope?
Miranda: Maybe we could get you in a nice dress one day. Silk. No, maybe velvet. Velvet is heavier, better to guard against the cold in space. Dark red velvet, yes. With gold embroidery. It should be cut low in the front of course, we don't want to hide your features.
Jack: Stop looking at my breasts like that. 'Tis most disturbing!
Miranda: You don't think so? And if it's cut low in the front we must put your hair up to show off that lovely neck.
Jack: You are insane. I would sooner let Garrus dress me.
Miranda: It'll be fun, I promise! We'll get some shoes too! Ah, shoes! We could go shopping together!


This is better than my Duncan references.

#974
MisterDyslexo

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Jack: I've always depended on the kindness of strangers

Bonus IQ points if you get it

Modifié par MisterDyslexo, 17 octobre 2010 - 06:09 .


#975
Guest_gamer790_*

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Mordin: One moment Shepard, must catch my breath.