104 réponses à ce sujet

[MyChemicalBromance]

BobbyTheI wrote...

Worst case romantic scenario?

I believe I already posted a picture of it not that long ago.

I remember seeing that and failing in my attempts to catagorize it. It's not really "furry" and it's not really beastial-that's what she said-so I guess I'm going to have to go with hawt.

[sillymonkboy]

Vaenier wrote...

sillymonkboy wrote...

Ultimate worst case scenario is that Grunt decides to "romance" you whether you want to or not...especially not...and pins you face first inside the tank just to make sure you aren't going anywhere until he's done "romancing" you.

You are suposed to write the worst romantic scenario, not one of the best ones. Try again.

Okay...

Grunt:  "Unh...unh...unh...Yeah...*smack*...Who's your krogan?...Who's your krogan?!"

Shepard: *sobs*

Grunt:  "Bet you'll never call me Wrex again!"  *throws towel at Shepard*  "Now clean yourself up and get me a beer."

[MyChemicalBromance]

sillymonkboy wrote...

Vaenier wrote...

sillymonkboy wrote...

Ultimate worst case scenario is that Grunt decides to "romance" you whether you want to or not...especially not...and pins you face first inside the tank just to make sure you aren't going anywhere until he's done "romancing" you.

You are suposed to write the worst romantic scenario, not one of the best ones. Try again.

Okay...

Grunt:  "Unh...unh...unh...Yeah...*smack*...Who's your krogan?...Who's your krogan?!"

Shepard: *sobs*

Grunt:  "Bet you'll never call me Wrex again!"  *throws towel at Shepard*  "Now clean yourself up and get me a beer."

Vomit was produced.

[Gavinthelocust]

sillymonkboy wrote...

Vaenier wrote...

sillymonkboy wrote...

Ultimate worst case scenario is that Grunt decides to "romance" you whether you want to or not...especially not...and pins you face first inside the tank just to make sure you aren't going anywhere until he's done "romancing" you.

You are suposed to write the worst romantic scenario, not one of the best ones. Try again.

Okay...

Grunt:  "Unh...unh...unh...Yeah...*smack*...Who's your krogan?...Who's your krogan?!"

Shepard: *sobs*

Grunt:  "Bet you'll never call me Wrex again!"  *throws towel at Shepard*  "Now clean yourself up and get me a beer."

You just gave me terrible mental images with a male shep in that.

[MyChemicalBromance]

Gavin whatever you do in here don't edit your ****ing post...

[Lord_Moose]

Ugly Shepard.

[barbati99]

HERE IT IS GUYS THE ABSOLUTE WORST
You awaken to find yourself on the floor of the CIC in the SR-2
Normandy. The power is out, and you notice multiple hull breaches and
signs of battle. Kinetic barriers are in place to hold in the
atmosphere. The cockpit is blocked off by flaming rubble. You read a
flickering console nearby, it states that the atmosphere has completely
vented in the cockpit area, and no life signs have been detected. The
CIC is filled with smoke, and the dim, red emergency lighting is on,
badly damaged, and flickering in some areas. You glance around. All
members of your crew on the CIC are either dead, or unconscious and
seriously injured. You make your way to the elevator, but it has been
completely disabled by damage. You saw your way through into the
elevator shaft, and climb your way down into the Crew Quarters. The
level is filled with thick, toxic smoke. Some crew members are in the
stasis pods, badly injured but alive. You see Kelly in the stasis pod,
covered in blood. She looks bad. You read her console, and discover
however that her life signs are more or less stable, and the console
seems to indicate that she will live. You walk into the main battery,
and discover multiple signs of battle, and a mountain of corpses of an
unknown species in the corner. You look to the other corner. Garrus
Vakarian is slumped over some cover, eye still peering through a sniper
scope, parts of a detonated grenade in his hand. You figure he must
have gone out like a hero. You exit the battery, and make your way to
the medical bay door. It is sealed, and multiple high level kinetic
barriers have been erected. It is impossible to see through the
windows. The doors have been welded shut, and junk has been placed over
the windows. A console nearby indicates one lifesign: a human female,
elderly, stable. The console also detects centralized, mobile
electrical activity: a geth? Oh yes, Legion, you figure. Legion must
have welded the door shut. You make your way to Miranda's office, and
discover that Miranda is gone, must have gone below decks into
Engineering. No note was left. You go back to the elevator shaft, and
climb through the smoke filled shaft into the Engineering deck. You
notice the damage is even heavier here, as if someone or something had
ripped pieces off of the wall and flung them at enemies. You notice
chunks of wall have crushed several unknown corpses. In the center of
this mayhem, you find Jack, unconscious. You move on. You enter into
Zaeed's room, and Zaeed is laying on the floor. Is he dead? You walk
over to him, and scan him. The scanner indicates an unconscious state.
Further scanning reveals that he is.... asleep? You find a couple of
bottles of whiskey hidden in the compactor. You scan him again. Blood
Alcohol level way over the limit. Ah, you realize. Zaeed is drunk. He
probably slept through the entire attack without waking up. You
remember that Zaeed gets angry when disturbed, so you leave his room.
You don't see Grunt anywhere, although you see incendiary burns
everywhere, and signs that an angry krogan had smashed things. You
proceed through the engineering doors, and can't find Tali'Zorah
anywhere. You cautiously enter the hammerhead garage. It is dark, as
the power is out. The emergency lighting has failed. Shadows are
everywhere, and it is completely silent. You make your way to the back
of the garage. As you stare at the door, you suddenly feel something
warm on your shoulder, and you get a feeling of cold, of dread. You
look at your shoulder. It is a hand. It is blue. You look up, straight
into Morinth's pitch-black, telepathic eyes. Morinth smiles, a creepy,
evil smile.  You try to run, but your legs will not respond. Morinth
creeps closer to you. "Mother warned you about me..." she says. "She
said you will regret your decision...". You try to scream, but no sound
will leave your mouth. You cannot move. "Tali'Zorah! Help Me! Vent the
garage!" you think to yourself, but suddenly Morinth is in your
mind. Her voice enters your thoughts: "She cannot help you. She is
dead." says Morinth as she uses her Ardat-Yakshi powers to force you to
turn your head to face the corner. As you look at the corner, you see a
quarian in a purple suit lying in a heap on the floor. "I had the time
of my life with her...." says Morinth. Morinth gets even closer to you,
staring into your face, breathing on it. She stares into your eyes.
"Now you will pay the price for your complacency!" she says. Her eyes
start to glow. "Embrace Eternity!", you hear over and over in your head
as you begin to drown in waves of searing pain. Your head feels like it
will explode, your heart races, your eyes fail, you lose sensation in
your legs.... then your arms.... then everything.... then everything
goes dark, and your lifeless body slumps to the floor.

[BobbyTheI]

barbati99 wrote...

HERE IT IS GUYS THE ABSOLUTE WORST
You awaken to find yourself on the floor of the CIC in the SR-2
Normandy. The power is out, and you notice multiple hull breaches and
signs of battle. Kinetic barriers are in place to hold in the
atmosphere. The cockpit is blocked off by flaming rubble. You read a
flickering console nearby, it states that the atmosphere has completely
vented in the cockpit area, and no life signs have been detected. The
CIC is filled with smoke, and the dim, red emergency lighting is on,
badly damaged, and flickering in some areas. You glance around. All
members of your crew on the CIC are either dead, or unconscious and
seriously injured. You make your way to the elevator, but it has been
completely disabled by damage. You saw your way through into the
elevator shaft, and climb your way down into the Crew Quarters. The
level is filled with thick, toxic smoke. Some crew members are in the
stasis pods, badly injured but alive. You see Kelly in the stasis pod,
covered in blood. She looks bad. You read her console, and discover
however that her life signs are more or less stable, and the console
seems to indicate that she will live. You walk into the main battery,
and discover multiple signs of battle, and a mountain of corpses of an
unknown species in the corner. You look to the other corner. Garrus
Vakarian is slumped over some cover, eye still peering through a sniper
scope, parts of a detonated grenade in his hand. You figure he must
have gone out like a hero. You exit the battery, and make your way to
the medical bay door. It is sealed, and multiple high level kinetic
barriers have been erected. It is impossible to see through the
windows. The doors have been welded shut, and junk has been placed over
the windows. A console nearby indicates one lifesign: a human female,
elderly, stable. The console also detects centralized, mobile
electrical activity: a geth? Oh yes, Legion, you figure. Legion must
have welded the door shut. You make your way to Miranda's office, and
discover that Miranda is gone, must have gone below decks into
Engineering. No note was left. You go back to the elevator shaft, and
climb through the smoke filled shaft into the Engineering deck. You
notice the damage is even heavier here, as if someone or something had
ripped pieces off of the wall and flung them at enemies. You notice
chunks of wall have crushed several unknown corpses. In the center of
this mayhem, you find Jack, unconscious. You move on. You enter into
Zaeed's room, and Zaeed is laying on the floor. Is he dead? You walk
over to him, and scan him. The scanner indicates an unconscious state.
Further scanning reveals that he is.... asleep? You find a couple of
bottles of whiskey hidden in the compactor. You scan him again. Blood
Alcohol level way over the limit. Ah, you realize. Zaeed is drunk. He
probably slept through the entire attack without waking up. You
remember that Zaeed gets angry when disturbed, so you leave his room.
You don't see Grunt anywhere, although you see incendiary burns
everywhere, and signs that an angry krogan had smashed things. You
proceed through the engineering doors, and can't find Tali'Zorah
anywhere. You cautiously enter the hammerhead garage. It is dark, as
the power is out. The emergency lighting has failed. Shadows are
everywhere, and it is completely silent. You make your way to the back
of the garage. As you stare at the door, you suddenly feel something
warm on your shoulder, and you get a feeling of cold, of dread. You
look at your shoulder. It is a hand. It is blue. You look up, straight
into Morinth's pitch-black, telepathic eyes. Morinth smiles, a creepy,
evil smile.  You try to run, but your legs will not respond. Morinth
creeps closer to you. "Mother warned you about me..." she says. "She
said you will regret your decision...". You try to scream, but no sound
will leave your mouth. You cannot move. "Tali'Zorah! Help Me! Vent the
garage!" you think to yourself, but suddenly Morinth is in your
mind. Her voice enters your thoughts: "She cannot help you. She is
dead." says Morinth as she uses her Ardat-Yakshi powers to force you to
turn your head to face the corner. As you look at the corner, you see a
quarian in a purple suit lying in a heap on the floor. "I had the time
of my life with her...." says Morinth. Morinth gets even closer to you,
staring into your face, breathing on it. She stares into your eyes.
"Now you will pay the price for your complacency!" she says. Her eyes
start to glow. "Embrace Eternity!", you hear over and over in your head
as you begin to drown in waves of searing pain. Your head feels like it
will explode, your heart races, your eyes fail, you lose sensation in
your legs.... then your arms.... then everything.... then everything
goes dark, and your lifeless body slumps to the floor.

Well, I came.

[MyChemicalBromance]

Jeezus dude, these are supposed to be love triangle (well, pentagon in my story...) issues not horror!

[ObserverStatus]

yikes

[barbati99]

BobbyTheI wrote...

barbati99 wrote...

HERE IT IS GUYS THE ABSOLUTE WORST
You awaken to find yourself on the floor of the CIC in the SR-2
Normandy. The power is out, and you notice multiple hull breaches and
signs of battle. Kinetic barriers are in place to hold in the
atmosphere. The cockpit is blocked off by flaming rubble. You read a
flickering console nearby, it states that the atmosphere has completely
vented in the cockpit area, and no life signs have been detected. The
CIC is filled with smoke, and the dim, red emergency lighting is on,
badly damaged, and flickering in some areas. You glance around. All
members of your crew on the CIC are either dead, or unconscious and
seriously injured. You make your way to the elevator, but it has been
completely disabled by damage. You saw your way through into the
elevator shaft, and climb your way down into the Crew Quarters. The
level is filled with thick, toxic smoke. Some crew members are in the
stasis pods, badly injured but alive. You see Kelly in the stasis pod,
covered in blood. She looks bad. You read her console, and discover
however that her life signs are more or less stable, and the console
seems to indicate that she will live. You walk into the main battery,
and discover multiple signs of battle, and a mountain of corpses of an
unknown species in the corner. You look to the other corner. Garrus
Vakarian is slumped over some cover, eye still peering through a sniper
scope, parts of a detonated grenade in his hand. You figure he must
have gone out like a hero. You exit the battery, and make your way to
the medical bay door. It is sealed, and multiple high level kinetic
barriers have been erected. It is impossible to see through the
windows. The doors have been welded shut, and junk has been placed over
the windows. A console nearby indicates one lifesign: a human female,
elderly, stable. The console also detects centralized, mobile
electrical activity: a geth? Oh yes, Legion, you figure. Legion must
have welded the door shut. You make your way to Miranda's office, and
discover that Miranda is gone, must have gone below decks into
Engineering. No note was left. You go back to the elevator shaft, and
climb through the smoke filled shaft into the Engineering deck. You
notice the damage is even heavier here, as if someone or something had
ripped pieces off of the wall and flung them at enemies. You notice
chunks of wall have crushed several unknown corpses. In the center of
this mayhem, you find Jack, unconscious. You move on. You enter into
Zaeed's room, and Zaeed is laying on the floor. Is he dead? You walk
over to him, and scan him. The scanner indicates an unconscious state.
Further scanning reveals that he is.... asleep? You find a couple of
bottles of whiskey hidden in the compactor. You scan him again. Blood
Alcohol level way over the limit. Ah, you realize. Zaeed is drunk. He
probably slept through the entire attack without waking up. You
remember that Zaeed gets angry when disturbed, so you leave his room.
You don't see Grunt anywhere, although you see incendiary burns
everywhere, and signs that an angry krogan had smashed things. You
proceed through the engineering doors, and can't find Tali'Zorah
anywhere. You cautiously enter the hammerhead garage. It is dark, as
the power is out. The emergency lighting has failed. Shadows are
everywhere, and it is completely silent. You make your way to the back
of the garage. As you stare at the door, you suddenly feel something
warm on your shoulder, and you get a feeling of cold, of dread. You
look at your shoulder. It is a hand. It is blue. You look up, straight
into Morinth's pitch-black, telepathic eyes. Morinth smiles, a creepy,
evil smile.  You try to run, but your legs will not respond. Morinth
creeps closer to you. "Mother warned you about me..." she says. "She
said you will regret your decision...". You try to scream, but no sound
will leave your mouth. You cannot move. "Tali'Zorah! Help Me! Vent the
garage!" you think to yourself, but suddenly Morinth is in your
mind. Her voice enters your thoughts: "She cannot help you. She is
dead." says Morinth as she uses her Ardat-Yakshi powers to force you to
turn your head to face the corner. As you look at the corner, you see a
quarian in a purple suit lying in a heap on the floor. "I had the time
of my life with her...." says Morinth. Morinth gets even closer to you,
staring into your face, breathing on it. She stares into your eyes.
"Now you will pay the price for your complacency!" she says. Her eyes
start to glow. "Embrace Eternity!", you hear over and over in your head
as you begin to drown in waves of searing pain. Your head feels like it
will explode, your heart races, your eyes fail, you lose sensation in
your legs.... then your arms.... then everything.... then everything
goes dark, and your lifeless body slumps to the floor.

Well, I came.

LOL? You like Morinth? 

[Reptilian Rob]

Ugly Shepard, nuff' said.

[Gavinthelocust]

Reptilian Rob wrote...

Ugly Shepard, nuff' said.

I await the day that in the Ugly Shepard thread we will see his romance scene.

[Lord_Moose]

Lord_Moose wrote...

Ugly Shepard.

Sorta beat you guys to that.

[applehug]

It could get a lot worse...

[x75flames]

DarkNova50 wrote...

Shepard: Oh, hey Liara!
Liara: Shepard, I think there's somebody you should meet...
Young Asari: Hello.
Shepard: Hey, who's the - aw ****.
Liara: I know I should have told you last time you were on Illium, but I didn't...I mean I couldn't...
Shepard: Yeah, Liara I hate to do this, but I gotta-

[Tali steps in]

Shepard: Hey look it's Tali! Let's all talk to her!
Tali: Shepard? We...need to talk... *places hand over abdomen*
Shepard: ...

[Shuttle shows up unexpectedly]

Garrus: Get on da choppa!

Garrus win!

[BobbyTheI]

applehug wrote...

It could get a lot worse...

Shepard:  No, really, Conrad.  There's a hidden cache of red sand in my pants.  Just start digging around... maybe not with your hands.

[x75flames]

Gavinthelocust wrote...

BobbyTheI wrote...

Worst case romantic scenario?

I believe I already posted a picture of it not that long ago.

THE GENOPHAGE DOES NOTHING! 

Works with Krogan females, thats it, dosnt say anything about humans.

[Mondo47]

BobbyTheI wrote...

applehug wrote...

It could get a lot worse...

Shepard:  No, really, Conrad.  There's a hidden cache of red sand in my pants.  Just start digging around... maybe not with your hands.

Aaaand that's the kids woken up by me laughing my ass off

[x75flames]

Dont wake the kids thats bad, goes you think that Shepard would be quiter after all that trouble he went trough to get the to go to sleep...

[Azint]

Practice celibacy.

[redloz]

Ashley/Kaidan and Liara have been sleeping together for the duration of ME2, Liara wasn't interested in the Shadow Broker, she just wanted to get rid of Shepard so she and the Virmire Survivor could get busy in her Illium Office while Shep ran around like a berk hacking terminals.



Discovered in ME3 during a mission involving surveillance tapes.



Poor Shep.

[Merilsell]

A romantic subplot with a human man who offers only cheap porn lines when hitting on her, isn't over his ex but regards my FemShep as priiiizeee.

Oh wait...

[MyChemicalBromance]

Merilsell wrote...

A romantic subplot with a human man who offers only cheap porn lines when hitting on her, isn't over his ex but regards my FemShep as priiiizeee.

Oh wait...

Yeah... Udina's an ****...