104 réponses à ce sujet

[TLK Spires]

tali dies.

[DarkNova50]

sillymonkboy wrote...

Vaenier wrote...

sillymonkboy wrote...

Ultimate worst case scenario is that Grunt decides to "romance" you whether you want to or not...especially not...and pins you face first inside the tank just to make sure you aren't going anywhere until he's done "romancing" you.

You are suposed to write the worst romantic scenario, not one of the best ones. Try again.

Okay...

Grunt:  "Unh...unh...unh...Yeah...*smack*...Who's your krogan?...Who's your krogan?!"

Shepard: *sobs*

Grunt:  "Bet you'll never call me Wrex again!"  *throws towel at Shepard*  "Now clean yourself up and get me a beer."

Two hours later...

Shepard: So Mordin, remember what you were telling me about the Genophage?
Mordin: Of course Shepard.
Shepard: Think you could reverse engineer some of that into a delicious little plague? I need to do some...spring cleaning.

[Reptilian Rob]

applehug wrote...

It could get a lot worse...

No it can't, I killed him.

[BobbyTheI]

Reptilian Rob wrote...

applehug wrote...

It could get a lot worse...

No it can't, I killed him.

Shepard:  Hmmm... body's still warm.  Well, shouldn't let it go to waste.

(My fantasy Conrad Verner storyline just keeps getting more and more twisted.)

[Reptilian Rob]

BobbyTheI wrote...

Reptilian Rob wrote...

applehug wrote...

It could get a lot worse...

No it can't, I killed him.

Shepard:  Hmmm... body's still warm.  Well, shouldn't let it go to waste.

(My fantasy Conrad Verner storyline just keeps getting more and more twisted.)

Stright to the necrophilia I see, you're a real piece of work.<_<

[Massadonious1]

[Ammonite]

Not sure if this is anything like what OP meant, but here goes my attempt:
To make the game more accessible to newcomers to the trilogy (and save time), all of your former LIs are now relegated to what Bioware defined as "important roles", AKA 5 minutes of screentime tops. Also, 2-3 lines of extra dialogue and an e-mail or kiss if you romanced him/her. Otherwise, there is no difference from a non-romanced game.

Also, none of them are squaddies:
-Thane has died/is in the very last stage of his illness. In the case of the latter, Shepard gets to see him one last time in the hospital. In the case of the former, you get an e-mail.

-Jack is too busy doing charity work for, err, traumatized biotic children. The first time you see her again, she is singing a lullaby to a handicapped child. Oh, and she has hair now. She is actually blonde.

-Tali hooked up with Legion shortly after ME2. Because of this, she is an exile in ME3 regardless of how the trial went in ME2, rendering your actions moot (again, this saves time for the developers to focus on perfecting that fish-tank). She and Legion are too busy preventing a geth/quarian war.

-Garrus is in the middle of some calibrations.

-Jacob and Miranda realize they are each other's soul mates. They send you an e-mail dumping you and simultaneously inviting you to their wedding. There is no 'reply' button. Only 'mark as unread'.

-Liara is still hunting. Her role in ME3 is important, yes, as in "she sits behind that desk and hands you some essential information regarding the Shadow broker and the reapers". Dialogue wheel choices are all non-romantic. You still don't get to paragon interrupt hug her, or renegade interrupt take her right there on that desk. (guess who I romanced?)

-Ashley/Kaidan gets abducted by the reapers early in the game, to provide those who romanced her/him with some extra emotional engagement, according to Bioware. Their encounter/abduction/rescue scenario is almost identical. You do get a thank-you e-mail though.

Modifié par Ammonite, 04 mars 2010 - 10:06 .

[Keltoris]

"Worst Case", not "Most Probable"

[Ammonite]

Keltoris wrote...

"Worst Case", not "Most Probable"

My apologies.

[Pannamaslo]

BobbyTheI wrote...

Worst case romantic scenario?

I believe I already posted a picture of it not that long ago.

Holy sh*t 

Modifié par Pannamaslo, 04 mars 2010 - 11:19 .

[Massadonious1]

That picture is 'effing disturbing.

[stillnotking]

Seems appropriate to repost this from another thread...

(Mass Effect: Ten Years Later, on Illium)

SHEPARD: Set me up again.

ASARI BARTENDER: Don't you think you've had enough, Commander?

SHEPARD: No.  Set me up.

ASARI BARTENDER (sympathetic): Women trouble?

SHEPARD: Yeah.  (sighs)  Let me tell ya, don't ever get serious with a quarian.

ASARI BARTENDER: Want to talk about it?

SHEPARD: Well, you know.  When we first started dating, it was all "Oh Shepard, I want to feel your skin against mine."  After the wedding?  Suddenly it's "Shepard, we just had sex last month!  Do you want me to get sick again?"  Neural induction is OK, but it doesn't do squat for blue balls.

ASARI BARTENDER (laughs and then looks abashed): Uh, sorry.

SHEPARD: Pretty soon I was making up threats to the Galaxy just to get off the ship.  At one point I actually had the Council convinced that the Reapers were building a secret base on Tefnut, the resort world.

ASARI BARTENDER: That was fake?  It was on the news!

SHEPARD: Yeah, ironic that they finally believed me just when I started making sh*t up to get laid.  Lost my Spectre clearance over that little incident.

ASARI BARTENDER: Damn.

SHEPARD: Hey, it wasn't all one-way.  I get back to the Migrant Fleet and Tali tells me she's pregnant.

ASARI BARTENDER: But I thought humans and quarians couldn't... oh.

SHEPARD: Exactly.  Can't really blame her, to be honest.  But between alimony and the lawsuit from slugging Kal'Reegar, I'm out about a hundred thou a month.  N7 pensions don't exactly cover that.  If it wasn't for the speaking fees I'd be sleeping under a heating conduit on the Citadel.

ASARI BARTENDER: Wow.

SHEPARD:  Women.  (downs another shot)  No offense.

ASARI BARTENDER: You know, Asari aren't exactly women.  We only have one gender.

SHEPARD: Yeah?

ASARI BARTENDER: Yep.

SHEPARD: So uh, what time you get off?

ASARI BARTENDER: Hopefully right before you do, Commander.  Come on, let's get out of here.

Modifié par stillnotking, 04 mars 2010 - 11:39 .

[Shadowrun1177]

Ok stillnotking I've got to say that was pretty funny was laughing as I read it and would be a worst case romance. Though I hope that don't happen to my Shepard/Tali relationship still got a laugh out of it.

[LoL]

DarkNova50 wrote...

Shepard: Oh, hey Liara!
Liara: Shepard, I think there's somebody you should meet...
Young Asari: Hello.
Shepard: Hey, who's the - aw ****.
Liara: I know I should have told you last time you were on Illium, but I didn't...I mean I couldn't...
Shepard: Yeah, Liara I hate to do this, but I gotta-

[Tali steps in]

Shepard: Hey look it's Tali! Let's all talk to her!
Tali: Shepard? We...need to talk... *places hand over abdomen*
Shepard: ...

[Shuttle shows up unexpectedly]

Garrus: Get on da choppa!

LOLOLOLOL...Garrus: Get on da choppa! Thay killed me.

[Reptilian Rob]

poisonoustea wrote...

[Shuttle shows up unexpectedly]

Garrus: Get on da choppa!

I want a Paragon interrupt in that case, to hug Garrus in tears of gratitude.

He really is an archangle in that case.

Garrus is a true bro!

[Sphynx118]

LoL wrote...

DarkNova50 wrote...

Shepard: Oh, hey Liara!
Liara: Shepard, I think there's somebody you should meet...
Young Asari: Hello.
Shepard: Hey, who's the - aw ****.
Liara: I know I should have told you last time you were on Illium, but I didn't...I mean I couldn't...
Shepard: Yeah, Liara I hate to do this, but I gotta-

[Tali steps in]

Shepard: Hey look it's Tali! Let's all talk to her!
Tali: Shepard? We...need to talk... *places hand over abdomen*
Shepard: ...

[Shuttle shows up unexpectedly]

Garrus: Get on da choppa!

LOLOLOLOL...Garrus: Get on da choppa! Thay killed me.

Garrus is my bro for life. Bros before ho's all the way

[Reptilian Rob]

Sphynx118 wrote...

LoL wrote...

DarkNova50 wrote...

Shepard: Oh, hey Liara!
Liara: Shepard, I think there's somebody you should meet...
Young Asari: Hello.
Shepard: Hey, who's the - aw ****.
Liara: I know I should have told you last time you were on Illium, but I didn't...I mean I couldn't...
Shepard: Yeah, Liara I hate to do this, but I gotta-

[Tali steps in]

Shepard: Hey look it's Tali! Let's all talk to her!
Tali: Shepard? We...need to talk... *places hand over abdomen*
Shepard: ...

[Shuttle shows up unexpectedly]

Garrus: Get on da choppa!

LOLOLOLOL...Garrus: Get on da choppa! Thay killed me.

Garrus is my bro for life. Bros before ho's all the way

^
This

[crimsonrhodelia]

applehug wrote...

It could get a lot worse...

The Pre-Omega cutscene option Shep was cruelly deprived of:

[Madecologist]

Only Conrad Verner can truely please femShepard. Too bad he is married....

[crimsonrhodelia]

Madecologist wrote...

Only Conrad Verner can truely please femShepard. Too bad he is married....

Lies! The only thing he's married to is his Shepard VI!

[Arelyte]

MyChemicalBromance wrote...

In Mass Effect 1... Upon reaching the Citadel you immediately high-tail it to the Presidium and **** Shiala. You leave the Citadel with sights set on the Artemis Tau Cluster, and subsequently pick up Liara. While simultaneously romancing both Liara and Ashley, you rock Feros before jumping to Virmire so that you get there before the "Confrontation". You nuke Ashley and then kill Liara's mother so you can be there for her (Doesn't work in real life for some reason...). You then, what is that charming human expression? "Shlog?" her, and make a break for the credits.

In Mass Effect 2... You spend 30 of your first 40 hours watching dancers on Omega, then proceed to romance the **** out of anything with two legs. When it comes down to the point that they all say they don't want to share (and you've banged Kelly), you pick Jack since she has the highest ratio of Trust to Crazy. After nuking the Collectors you make-out in low orbit around Illium, periodically telling Liara you still care for her.

In Mass Effect 3... Kelly finds a rubber in your fish tank (Please consider having R Kelly choreograph this scene Bioware) but remains quiet about it for 2 weeks, spying on you via EDI. After watching you and Jack do it missionary on the ceiling for the third time in a day, she decides to act.

Meanwhile Liara finally kills her target and decides she is ready to resume her relationship with you. She contacts Joker and tells him to "surprise" you buy landing on Illium without your orders.

You, in the meantime, realise that ever since Kelly started feeding your fish, you've spent virtually no time trying to socialize your chronically shy space hamster. When you reach the loft, you find the fish dead and Kelly hung from a rafter. A suicide note found in the tank says that neither of them could survive on "half rations". An additional note on Kelly informs you of unread messages. Just then, Liara bursts through the door ready to embrace you... until she see's the scene before her. Before she can formulate a sentence Jack shows up wearing nothing but a smile and fifty 50ccs of Halix (yes, wearing...). Grasping the situation, Liara turns a furious fuchsia, and asks you how her "barriers" are. Before you can answer the unread messages is read aloud: First of all the rumors on Galactic news were true; Shiala is leaving the Citadel… to spend more time with you. Second, Ashley survived the explosion but lost three limbs and 93% of her skin (including side boob). She hopes you can look past this.

I think you should have the option to space yourself at this point.

Hahahaha, that would indeed be a worst case scenario. Bravo man. That made me lol hard.

[TomBmbadil]

You go down to see Tali in engineering only to find her spanking a naked Zaeed