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Why my Shepard cheated on Kaiden *warning, contains lots of spoilers*


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#1
Tinnic

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 Given that my Shepard was a paragon of virtue, who never took the renegade option - even when taking the renegade option would means the ensuring fight would be easier on her and her teammate, I decided early on that she was probably no someone who would cheat on Kaiden. Afterall, Kaiden is a very sweet guy and she didn't influence him to become all Xenophobic in ME1 so it was all good. Even when Kaiden was all mean to her and accused her of betrayed the alliance, I thought to myself - she's still not a person who would take out her frustrations on Kaiden by having a fling. Even thought the apology email from Kaiden was a bit meh and in my personal opinion left their relationship more on the "its over side" then not.

Of course the whole "stay faithful to Kaiden" part was helped by Jacob and Garrus coming across less as romances and more one-night stands. I mean, I did Shepard test the water a little. Not that I had any intention of making her cheat on Kaiden, more I figured she's a friendly kind of person who would be... well friendly. So Jacob was first and especially during the early parts came across as someone Shepard was more or less forcing themselves on. I mean, it was clear that Jacob had romantic feelings for Miranda and after the "I am not a good a man as she deserves" line that he sprouted after his royalty mission, after finding out it was Miranda who forwarded the message, I was like - yeah, no.

Then there was Garrus. I liked Garrus from ME1 and would have so romanced him in ME1 if I could. So I was kind of excited to see how things would play with Garrus... I was disappointed. It was like convincing a good drinking buddy to become friends with benefits. It was... awkward... a little too awkward. So after the reach and flexibility conversation, I offered to blow off steam by punching things and Garrus declined to add his name to the long list of people I dropped on their ass. Probably a good thing.

Frustrated with Garrus and Jacob, I didn't even think about Thane (actually I wasn't even aware Thane was a romance option) when he came aboard. I did his loyalty question, spoke to him afterwards and he explained a few things about his people, said nice things. Left and completed the game while staying faithful to Kaiden.

Afterwards, I did what I am sure a lot of people did, I went on youtube and looked at the romance scenes and other things. Saw Garrus first, no regrets on taking a pass on him. Saw Jacob next, again no regrets. Notice Thane was also romance option, saw his and... I was intrigued and interested. Thane actually seemed like a romance. As in, it was actually romantic. I just had to try it myself. I tend to override my saves so I didn't think I had a save game old enough to pursue a romance with Thane and playing through again was not an option since I have Bayonetta and Star Ocean to play before rl becomes busy again. But Thane's romance sub-plot seemed so interesting that I just had to try to get him.

The oldest save I had was just after I recruited Legion but before I did his mission. I knew from my first play through that straight after Legion's quest I would get the "collectors capture Normandy crew" thing and I didn't really want to delay and watch the crew die. But I decided to try for Thane anyway. So situation with Thane was that I had done his loyalty quest and had spoken to him once afterwards. I spoke to him again just before doing Legion's loyalty quest, dropped the "friend ha? Well that's a start" line. Then did Legion's quest. Came back and spoke to Thane again. He started calling Shepard "Siha". Triggered the Collector kidnap the Normandy crew thing. Spoke to Thane again, he explained what "Siha" meant. Headed to Omega-4 relay and had the Thane romance cut scene before the suicide mission started. Played through suicide mission again, ending the game this time after cheating on Kaiden with Thane.

I said earlier that I had no intention of cheating on Kaiden, especially since I felt that my paragon of virtue Shepard was unlikely to be the kind of person who would cheat on a sweet guy like Kaiden. So why did I maker her cheat on Kaiden with Thane. Well, because I felt that Thane was probably the one person she would cheat on Kaiden with. It's really hard to explain but it seemed so obvious! He's so... tortured but he's not emo. He's reflective, he's spiritual, he's sweet and probably the only person who might understand what Shepard felt after being resurrected after two years. The disorientation, the disconnect from friends... he... well, as I said before, he felt like an actual romance.

Kaiden was an actual romance. You built the romance over the course of ME1. He wasn't a booty call, that both Garrus and Jacob felt like and so I felt that the only person who could tempt my Shepard away from Kaiden, even the memory of him, was Thane. Certainly the conversation Shepard has with Thane when the mission is over just reinforces what I thought about the whole situation. Paraphrasing, Shepard comments how she feels that after two years being dead, every moment seems precious to her. Thane has a short time to live, if anyone understands how precious each moment can be, its Thane.

Anyway, my reading of the situation is that ME3 will take place shortly after ME2. Not two years after like ME1. But no more then weeks/months after given that the last scene of ME2 is the reapers waking up. So I am thinking that ME3 will open with everybody on board getting ready to fight the reapers. I don't know how the option to recruit Kaiden/Ashley and Liara will come-up (it seems plain that Wrex will be the only squad member from ME1 not recruitable in ME3, unsurprising given that he can die in ME1, mine didn't) and I don't know if choosing to cheat on Kaiden will mean my Shepard can't have him in her squad in ME3. But I know one thing, come ME3, I am going to have a hard time deciding which save file to use. The one in which she remains faithful to Kaiden or the one in which she cheats with Thane... assuming I get a choice of of course. Since both saves are on the same career, the game can just take the save with the latest date-stamp - which would be the one where she cheats on Kaiden with Thane. I don't really mind that. It'll save me from a hard choice. I just hope that the romance sub-plots from ME1 and ME2 will have some importance in ME3.

Anyway, sorry for boring anybody who read through all that. I just had to get it off my chest. :)

Modifié par Tinnic, 04 mars 2010 - 02:59 .


#2
DarthCaine

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It's not cheating when they blow you off in ME2

Besides, you died, you aren't together any more

Modifié par DarthCaine, 04 mars 2010 - 03:18 .


#3
tehprincessJ

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Well, I was just going to type here that I did, indeed, take the time to read through your post, but I guess I've decided to give you my full opinion. Here are my thoughts on the subject. Posted Image

Cheating is still cheating. Either your Shepard loves Kaidan enough to let him get over his foolishness, and see if anything comes from his "maybe...", or she doesn't, in which case anyone new she choses to sleep with won't really matter. I think what it should come down to, is this: does your Shep have enough interest in someone else to chance messing up any kind of Kaidan reconciliation in ME3? If so, go for it.

My biggest gripe about Kaidan's dialog on Horizon and his e-mail, was that it was all so confusing. We could chose to dwell on all the nice bits, and see the whole thing as him believing you're still together, or we can see the scene on Horizon as Shep being dumped, then the e-mail just being some sorry excuse for a reason why.
On Herizon: "I loved you. Thinking you were dead tore me apart."
His e-mail: "That night meant everything to me. I couldn't bear to lose you again."
OR the bad...
On Herizon:"You've changed."
His e-mail: "I guess I really don't know who either of us are anymore. A lot has changed in the last two years, and I can't just put that aside."
After playing Dragon Age, I was posative that I'd been dumped on Herizon (Alistair kind of makes you weary of it). But after re-reading his e-mail countless times, and seeing stuff on these boards about how ME1 love interests are supposed to carry over into ME3, and how people who remain faithful in ME2 are supposed to get some kind of payoff (not to mention the cut scene with Kaidan's picture before the suicide mission), I'm not so sure.

I guess my entire point is, did your Shepard "cheat", or did she just move on?

#4
Highdragonslayer

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Wow im not reading that, and do you think anyone actually cares? You don't need to justify why you broke up with a video game character.

#5
Lara Denton

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Highdragonslayer wrote...

Wow im not reading that, and do you think anyone actually cares? You don't need to justify why you broke up with a video game character.


We are all here to talk about our experiences with the game. It doesn't matter if it's about breaking up, staying faithful or how to beat the game on insanity, all the talking has value and meaning.

To the OP: Yes, Thane's story feels like a romance.

:alien:

#6
Llandaryn

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"Dear Tinnic,

Am glad you sent letter. Obvious cry for help. Have several wise words to say to you, now that scale-itch outbreak is under control.

First, being on break is not cheating. Have heard from reliable source (know you read all our mails, Miranda) that Kaidan been seing other human female. Heard that she is doctor, so Kaidan is obviously man of taste.  Regardless, he has moved on, you should do same.

Consider also that real life and computer games two vastly different things. Is possible to have more than one life, more than one outcome, on computers. Real life lacks reload option. Because future can be changed, no decision can be considered final until end of series.

Games forum perhaps not best place to talk about infidelity. Word could get back to Kaidan, then solid waste excerement would hit fan. Am forwarding contact details of professional councillor. Suspect several therapy sessions would do you good.

Yours,

Doctor M. Solus

P.S, don't forget to stop by for soothing lotion I promised you."

#7
Guest_Colenda_*

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Llandaryn wrote...

"Dear Tinnic,

Am glad you sent letter. Obvious cry for help. Have several wise words to say to you, now that scale-itch outbreak is under control.

First, being on break is not cheating. Have heard from reliable source (know you read all our mails, Miranda) that Kaidan been seing other human female. Heard that she is doctor, so Kaidan is obviously man of taste.  Regardless, he has moved on, you should do same.

Consider also that real life and computer games two vastly different things. Is possible to have more than one life, more than one outcome, on computers. Real life lacks reload option. Because future can be changed, no decision can be considered final until end of series.

Games forum perhaps not best place to talk about infidelity. Word could get back to Kaidan, then solid waste excerement would hit fan. Am forwarding contact details of professional councillor. Suspect several therapy sessions would do you good.

Yours,

Doctor M. Solus

P.S, don't forget to stop by for soothing lotion I promised you."


You win the thread. Okay, it's a very short thread, but you still win it.

#8
Wild Still

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OK, so I confess I didn't read your post, it surpassed the length of my attention span, which isn't that hard to do. I will say this to all the Kaiden lovers, are you foolish enough to think that man has any room in his heart for you when he has so much love for his hair?

#9
Guest_Colenda_*

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Wild Still wrote...

OK, so I confess I didn't read your post, it surpassed the length of my attention span, which isn't that hard to do. I will say this to all the Kaiden lovers, are you foolish enough to think that man has any room in his heart for you when he has so much love for his hair?


There was the same dilemma about Sir Nevalle in NWN2. The consensus was that as long as you're happy to always occupy second place in his list of priorities, he's a good catch. 

Modifié par Colenda, 09 mars 2010 - 07:10 .


#10
Ray Joel Oh

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Wild Still wrote...

OK, so I confess I didn't read your post, it surpassed the length of my attention span, which isn't that hard to do. I will say this to all the Kaiden lovers, are you foolish enough to think that man has any room in his heart for you when he has so much love for his hair?


MTE.  Kaiden can go gel himself to death.  I have aliens to seduce.

#11
Mr.BlazenGlazen

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Your not "cheating" the damn bastard blows you off and calls you a traitor, and then instead of apologizing to you in person they send you an email like a damn coward. I'm happy that i cheated on kaiden/ashley

#12
Estelindis

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My Shep will never cheat on Kaidan - but, if she was going to, it would be with Thane, for all the reasons you mentioned. I completely agree with your reading of the character (even if only via checking YouTube!).

#13
Patriciachr34

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I read your post and found that I felt exactly the same way. I thought that I would wait for Kaiden as well, but as the game progressed I found myself needing to move beyond what I was and accept who I had become. Kaiden was very much a part of who I was. And, he had doubts as to whether who I had become was someone he could love again. I guess in retrospect, my Shepherd found the need to move on as well. Hence the opening for a sincere, tender relationship with Thane. I will say that I think I will create another Shepherd (once I have ran the DA:A a couple of times) and remain faithful to Kaiden with her. I would like to see first hand whether my choice was the best one.

#14
RyrineaNara

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To long didn't read the whole thing, but damn I would never cheat on Kaidan he just the perfect guy for my female Shepard. Hell most the love interest in ME1 didn't even seem all that interesting to me. The doctor thing felt more to me he felt guilty for seeing her, and Think it was a blind date.

#15
tehprincessJ

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RyrineaNara wrote...

To long didn't read the whole thing, but damn I would never cheat on Kaidan he just the perfect guy for my female Shepard. Hell most the love interest in ME1 didn't even seem all that interesting to me. The doctor thing felt more to me he felt guilty for seeing her, and Think it was a blind date.


I actually took that doctor line as being his way of telling you "there's been nobody since you."

#16
Guest_LadyPaine_*

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Thane's romance was definitely more romantic than any of the others in the game. Which made me a little sad because I like Garrus. That being said, Garrus was with you in ME1 so you had that whole loyalty and history thing going on. Kaiden pissed me off in ME2 and frankly, I gladly dumped him for Mr. Vakarian.

#17
RyrineaNara

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tehprincessJ wrote...

RyrineaNara wrote...

To long didn't read the whole thing, but damn I would never cheat on Kaidan he just the perfect guy for my female Shepard. Hell most the love interest in ME1 didn't even seem all that interesting to me. The doctor thing felt more to me he felt guilty for seeing her, and Think it was a blind date.


I actually took that doctor line as being his way of telling you "there's been nobody since you."

That How I took it too.

#18
Guest_Shavon_*

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Thanks for sharing, OP!

While I can totally respect you're opinion as to why you romanced Thane and left Kaidan, I could never do that myself!  Had to import a single Shep for the awesome Thanmance.

I think it'll be very interesting, if Bioware gets detailed with carryover, rather than sloppy little treats for ME1 players, what 'cheating' Shepards will get from the two Li's.  

Unless they don't bring back Thane:crying:

At the same time, however, I don't think Kaidan is actually 'dumping' Shepard on Horizin as stated in the e-mail, but it does seem designed to be left open either way.  My Shepard will take that e-mail to heart, but your Shepard obviously didn't.  All depends on how you RP your Shepard, I guess:P

#19
RyrineaNara

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He was the only that had balls enough too tell Shepard that he wasn't joining a terrorist organization. I mean come on he saw how Cerberus worked during ME1, so it didn't make me upset enough to make me cheat on him.

#20
crimsonrhodelia

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Colenda wrote...

Wild Still wrote...

OK, so I confess I didn't read your post, it surpassed the length of my attention span, which isn't that hard to do. I will say this to all the Kaiden lovers, are you foolish enough to think that man has any room in his heart for you when he has so much love for his hair?


There was the same dilemma about Sir Nevalle in NWN2. The consensus was that as long as you're happy to always occupy second place in his list of priorities, he's a good catch. 


Hahaha! That is a good point...and a hilarious screen shot of Nevalle to boot. Thanks for the laugh.

ETA: I interpreted the e-mail as an admission of him not being over you. Of course it was deliberately ambiguous for all the Shepards whose mileage will vary and will want to alternately move on or stay faithful, but...it was enough for me!

Modifié par crimsonrhodelia, 09 mars 2010 - 07:41 .


#21
fortunesque

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@ OP

You realize you just created a pie-throwing contest of a thread, right? You could have easily posted this in the Thane thread or the Kaidan thread... :)

Here's the way I view the Horizon thing and the subsequent email:



In every relationship, there is a time to be selfish and a time to look out for the other person. I think something that Shepard needs to realize is is that it's not all about her. Yes, she was resurrected and there's a lot of baggage with that. It feels like it's been a few weeks since she's seen Kaidan; she's probably still in the crazy honeymoon love stage she was in when she died.



But Kaidan has two years of pain and old wounds. Those wounds have been reopened; he lashed out in pain. For a guy as softspoken and unselfish as him, his reaction says a lot about how much he was in love with Shepard. The dialogue options that they gave Shepard were nothing short of lame. She can't tell him that she's not got a control chip. All she says is, "Sup? I'm me. For serious."



And the email was the best he could do. He couldn't propose a meeting; he's obviously an agent for Anderson atm. I think he was also giving Shepard her space so he could do her job and not have to worry about him distracting her. He had the same concern of 'muddying things' in ME1. He put aside his desire to see her again so that she could work uninhibited. He doesn't want to burden her any more than he already has.



As far as the doctor that he was seeing, he says it was nothing serious. He was forcing himself to live a normal life. Whether or not he moved on is a moot point; Shepard is back, so he's back to square one. But he'll put aside his need to see Shepard for the sake of her important mission.

#22
Guest_Darht Jayder_*

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Is it cheating if you are in a different system?

#23
RyrineaNara

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Darht Jayder wrote...

Is it cheating if you are in a different system?

Yes it is still cheating :P

#24
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RyrineaNara wrote...

Darht Jayder wrote...

Is it cheating if you are in a different system?

Yes it is still cheating :P

Damn.  Well what about if it is a different species?  Surely that can't count.Posted Image

#25
Guest_imported_beer_*

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What Kaiden and you have in ME1, is left much in the air. There are no promises, no confessions of love...or even a relationship.



If you treated the relationship in ME1 as a fling, there is no reason for you to be loyal. If you see the meeting in ME2 as a diss, there is no reason for you to be loyal. And hey after 2 years, if you found that you became close to one of your other team mates, there is no reason to be loyal either.



The only reason to be loyal is that your FemShep in ME1 still had a torch for him despite everything. Despite the fact that there were no promises made. Despite the awkward reunion. Despite the fact that you were surrounded by attractive crewmates.



Either way, it is justifiable. And it is solely based on how you played your FemShep.