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[Durka531]

The following is a satire of the meetings
with some of the people from Mass effect 1, btw this is based on my own paragon
ending not that thing that bioware put in as the default story.

Email from Captain Counselor Anderson: Shepard come on over to the citadel for a meeting.

Shepard: huh I just woke up from being dead not two days ago and my old boss already wants a meeting *sign* wellsure why not I can use his help with this.

**fast forward to meeting**

Shepard: hey there boss long time no see

Anderson: hey the rest of the council wants some answers.

Shepard: *sign* ok

Rest of Counsel: WTF are you doing back and with Cerberus?

Shepard: well it’s like this,
these big bug people called the collectors are taking all these humans and Cerberus
wants to know where the party is at, ohh and the reapers are behind it.

Rest of Counsel: na na na na na we can’t hear you.

Shepard: but a reaper almost killed you

Rest of Counsel: liar liar pants on fire GTFO.

Shepard: but I saved your bacon

Rest of Counsel: well ok here is your spectre badge and decoder ring now GTFO.

Shepard: *grumbling* why did I save these guys ?

Rest of Counsel: what was that?

Shepard: nothing, I’ll be going
now.

**fast forward to Horizon after
fight**

Ashley: YOU WILL KNEEL BEFORE ZOD
Shepard.

Shepard: well that’s a bit thick but *shrug* how’s it going Ash.

Ashley: WTF man for two years you don’t call or write, it’s almost as if you were dead.

Shepard: I was dead Cerberus got some duct tape and crazy glue and here I am.

Ashley: …. Well you could have said something

Shepard:    I WAS DEAD.

Ashley: why are you playing with Cerberus now, they’re big meenies

Shepard: well it’s like this,
these big bug people called the collectors are taking all these humans and Cerberus wants to know where the party is at, ohh and the reapers are behind it.

Ashley: liar liar pants on fire GTFO.

Shepard: *sign* I’ll be going now

** Fast forward to Tuchanka**

Urdnot Conan Wrex: Dude how’s it going.

Shepard: doing good, got dead then got better you?

Urdnot Conan Wrex: Well I got this swingers club going and it’s a pretty sweet deal.

Gatatog Worf Uvenk: *talking to Grunt* who’s your daddy

Grunt: this old dude called Okeer but he’s dead, Shepard found me in the washing machine and let me out.

Urdnot Conan Wrex: Everyone hates his guts but it’s a good thing my good buddy here went over there to kill
him.

Shepard:*cough* yeah about that…

Urdnot Conan Wrex: what?

Shepard: Nothing :innocent: , anyways WTF is wrong with Grunt. *looks over to Grunt in a corner leafing through a Krogan playboy*

Urdnot Conan Wrex: Nothing is wrong with him, he’s just a teenager and they have certain needs man you
know how this goes.

Shepard: So he needs to get laid?

Urdnot Conan Wrex: No man he needs to kill something, the bigger the better. Go talk to the dude on the
second floor.

Shepard: I’ll be going now

 

Well that’s that, I hope you
enjoy this and understand that even though I’m mocking these scenes I love this game and I’ve already racked up 90+ hours of game time on several characters (don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing).

Edit: forum does not like word 2010 sorry

Modifié par Durka531, 05 mars 2010 - 09:19 .