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[Gilgamesh1138]

Ok, first I am using my husband's account because
the game is registered to him, though I stole DA:O from him. 
And so I am Kaidana on this forum though I can't post anything under it.  
And all of my story is on FF under my pen name Erynnar there. 
And I ask you for your patience, I am likely to screw things up posting here. 
I saw how everyone else is posting their story and then putting links on the front page
to the pages with the updates.  I am going to try and do that.  But feel free to read it on FF,
and put any thoughts you have there too.   Especially since my story is 50 chapters long
and counting. I only hope I don't mess this up and you all enjoy it.   Please excuse any errors,
I try to edit ,but sometimes I miss stuff as I am the author.  And I get better as the chapters
go along (I hadn't been writing in a while before DA:O inspired me).  Oh and thanks
to Mr. Gaider, whose books I love!  Thanks for reading everyone.

The link to my story on FF (Thanks to Apophis for posting it too when I didn't, DOH) is here: www.fanfiction.net/s/5689136/1/Soulmates

My fanart:

Alistair

Kai

Zev

Naseel

Zaeed

Gnat

Naseel 2

Zaeed 2

Kai with her tattoo

 Rafion

Lifemates

Argus/Rafion

Better Than A Mabari

Sugar and Spice

Back to Back

From the Shadows

Kayt 1

Birthday present Kai

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 27 janvier 2012 - 09:24 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 1

NOTE:  Spoilers and BioWare owns all but my character's and her dog's names!

"You can't do this, it is my duty." Kai argued.


"I want to be a good king. This makes me a good king, right? I save all of Ferelden from the Blight; I save you."


Kai stared at him, her heart beating so fast and so hard surely it could be heard by everyone atop the tower. "No,

it is I who have led us. I made the hard decisions. Most of my family lies dead due to Arl Howe's treachery. My

brother Fergus is probably dead, too. This is mine to do. Ferelden needs her king, a king of Theirin blood. Not

Anora, you." She gestured with her hands pleading. "I need you to live, my love, my beloved, my heart. You will be

a great king. You must live."


He drew her in close. His lips met hers. She put everything into this last kiss. She wanted him to take part of her

soul in their mingled breath before she gave the rest of it slaying the archdemon. She allowed herself to take

strength from his warmth, his soft lips on hers, the way the stubble on his chin rubbed against her skin. She felt

the cold metal of his Dead Legion armor under one hand and the feel of his hair beneath the fingertips of the

other. She took in the scent of him, of her beloved — a scent she could recognize even over all the blood and gore

that covered them both. These things she would take with her when she passed into the Fade. They parted as he

stepped back, running his fingers down the side of her face.


She looked into his dark gray eyes willing him to see the love for him shining in her own. She turned away from him

to move to the arch demon, and…nothing! Her whole body was caught in mid-stride and surrounded by glowing rings of

power. A paralysis spell. Sod it! Kai caught the knowing look that passed between Alistair and Wynne. He simply

looked at her with eyes the color of thunderclouds in a storm, love and regret showing in them. "This is the most

sane thing I have ever done." He gave her his lopsided smile and turned from her.


Kai watched in horror as he paused and then began running toward the great dragon as it reared up in one last

attempt to live. She watched everything in slow motion as if they were all underwater. Watched as Alistair grabbed

a sword sticking out of a nearby corpse and without breaking stride heaved himself at the arch demon. One smooth

motion had him sliding on his knees through all the blood and gore, slicing the dragon's underbelly, letting his

momentum carry him the length of the beast. Almost like some macabre dance, he came back to his feet avoiding the

tail as the arch demon screamed in mortal agony, its huge darkly scaled body shuddering in a death throe.


She wanted to scream with it. Kai redoubled her efforts, sweating with her fight to break the spell that held her.

Whether from exhaustion or because Wynne had become distracted by what they were witnessing, Kai was finally able

to move. Both of them began to run toward Alistair. "Ali, NO!" Kai screamed at him. He simply turned and with the

utmost calm on his face raised the sword over the archdemon.


"I love you, always." Alistair told her, before plunging the point of the sword into the head of the monstrous

beast. Kai watched as white light speared out surrounding the sword and her beloved as he twisted the sword with a

sickening crunch. She could tell he was in pain, but he did not falter or flinch.


Suddenly it felt as if all the air around them was being sucked toward the center of the tower where man and beast

hung suspended. Kai couldn't breathe, and she gasped and looked at Wynne before turning her gaze back to Alistair.

It was only a moment, but it felt like a long pause between inhaling and exhaling. Then, the world exploded as the

air sucked in now blew outward in a ring of immense pressure and blinding white light. The sound made Kai scream

and reflexively cover her ears. The shock wave hit her, and she only had a moment to contemplate flying through the

air before the world went black.

When she came to, her right arm felt as if it were on fire and dangled uselessly at her side. Broken then, she

thought, along with a few ribs on that side as well. Her head thrummed in time with her pulse. Disoriented, she

thought for a moment she was back at camp. They had stopped a darkspawn raid on a caravan. Kai had taken a nasty

blow to the head from a hurlock. They must have put her in her tent. "Nug humper!" she groaned. It occurred to her

that she was spending entirely too much time around Oghren, he was a bad influence on her language skills. Alistair

would blame himself for letting her get hurt. Had blamed himself for letting her get hurt. "Alistair, oh Great

Maker, no!" Not camp, the tower at Fort Drakon! Kai struggled up, heaving herself to her feet. She looked for him

and saw his crumpled form lying next to the head of the arch demon.


Her world went gray. All the pain of her broken body receded as if it belonged to someone else. She didn't notice

when she stumbled on rubble or slid on stones slick with blood. She paid no heed when she tripped over the corpse

of a Redcliffe knight, catching herself with her broken arm, or trying to anyway. She would not, could not stop

until she reached him.


Somehow she managed to heave him partway into her lap with her good arm. Kai kept hearing someone one screaming and

crying his name in great choking sobs, but the sound came from a long distance away. When she looked at his face,

it was covered in droplets of water. Was it raining? Part of her mind wondered at these things with a detached

fascination.


In the end it had been Sten who had pulled her away from his body so that Oghren, Zev, and Leliana could carry it

away. Her Mabari war hound, Argus, whined and pressed close to his mistress trying to comfort her. She had

struggled, but the giant Qunari merely held her close with no more effort than a child holding a doll. He simply

stoked her hair and whispered, “Kadan” over and over again.


Wynne attempted to perform healing magic on her, though she was in no better shape than Kai. But Kai had spat at

her with what little moisture her body had left. "Get away from me, witch! Betrayer, deceiver, I hate you!" Kai had

screamed at her, and Wynne had pulled away as if she had been slapped. Kai railed and screamed until her voice had

become nothing more than a croak.


Finally, she was so exhausted she collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut. She had a vague impression of Sten

carrying her out of the tower, and another of being placed in a bed in a darkened room. Then, the blessed blackness

of sleep had swallowed her and no dreams from the Fade, even of darkspawn from her tainted blood, had disturbed

her. Bless the Maker.

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 08 mai 2010 - 08:51 .

[Apophis2412]

For anyone interested, here is a link to the full story of Fanfiction.net: http://www.fanfictio...136/1/Soulmates

I already read 30 chapters or so of this story a last week. Two things that I found particulary funny:

SPOILERS!!
SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!

1. Alistair urging Kai to have a romance with Zevran. That's like Loghain telling his daughter she should marry an Orlesian.

2. I found it ingenious how you found a way for the main character to have a romance with both Zevran and Alistair, although when you thank about it, it is a bit creepy.

3.  I haven't read that far ahead yet, but are we going to find out where Anora got her funds?

END SPOILERS!!!!

Modifié par Apophis2412, 06 mars 2010 - 07:18 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 2

Kai woke slowly, surfacing to consciousness like a swimmer rising from underwater. Her eyelids
fluttered open to a darkened room she barely remembered being placed in. Her arm felt stiff, but it was
mended, as were her other broken bones. Wynne's work despite the venom she had thrown at her. She
could sense the older mage's magic.  Each mage's magic had its own unique flavor. After all their time
on the road, Kai had learned Wynne's, as she had been healed enough by her.

Her head hurt, and her eyes feltswollen and gritty. Had someone poured a bucket of sand
in each one while she lay helpless? She felt the tug of bandages and the itch of wounds healing
with poultices. Another familiarity after so much fighting. Wynne's work as well, no doubt. “It should
drink a lot of water.” The resonant voice of the golem Shale caused Kai to jump. For something – no
someone – so large, Shale could be very quiet.

Suddenly, the dark room was lit with a pulsing neon green glow as Shale brightened the crystals
embedded in her stone skin.  Interesting, Kai had no idea she could do that. Of course the pulsing
green glow didn't help her headache, as it caused the room's shadows to deepen and recede with
each  pulse. “Sent to watch over me I see.” Kai's voice was hoarse, and it hurt to talk.

Andraste's flaming sword, had someone poured sand down her throat too? “Here to make sure I
don't have access to sharp objects or high windows?” Kai attempted to joke with Shale, but even to her
own ears it sounded hollow.

“Well, it was quite distraught.” Unable to get jokes at the best of times, Shale had apparently
decided she was probably serious.  Only Kai or one of their other long time traveling companions
might have caught the hidden worry in Shale's voice.

“ ‘Was distraught’ probably isn't the proper term. More like ‘I am,’ Shale. But thank you.”

Shale cocked her head at Kai. Well, at least it was the golem equivalent of a head tilt. “It should
drink a lot of water. It is dehydrated, since squishy things cannot be made to drink when they
are unconscious.” Shale stared pointedly at Kai. “It will also need to eat if it is not to perish.” Though
anyone else would think from the golem's tone that having her perish would not be all that bad, Kai
knew better.

“Don't bother, I am not hungry.” In fact, Kai wondered if she would ever be hungry again. She felt numb
and cold inside, but she knew that underneath lay a surge of grief, despair, and anger so
great that if she gave in to it, she might not be able to stop.  Maybe she should have Oghren teach
her how to be a berserker after all. At least no one would have to kick her in, well, sensitive
areas like that one dwarf he told her about. Kai began to swing her legs over the side of the bed,
experimenting gingerly with her newly healed arm. It was stiff, but working. In truth other than a
headache from dehydration, there was no pain anywhere.  There was, however, another sensation.  
A hole it seemed, where her heart should be. No, not a hole, Kai corrected herself.   A stone heart had
replaced the one that had held Alistair. Kai snorted as she choked on a laugh that threatened to become
a sob.  Here she was with a golem whose heart was made of stone.  Maybe they should start a group,
‘The Heart of Stone Club’; happy people need not apply.

Alistair would laugh at that. Would have laughed at that. Andraste's knickers, how long would it
take her to stop expecting him to walk through a door any minute? That overwhelming
grief began to surface again. It took everything Kai had left in her to buckle it down.

Concentrating on getting her newly healed body out of bed was a great distraction. Swinging her
legs over the side of the bed and standing were two very different things. When she attempted to
stand, the room suddenly tilted and spun. She would have reached out and caught herself on the
bedpost, but Shale reached out and steadied her first. “It needs to eat.” The golem was positively
growling at her this time.

“Why this sudden urge to have me eat?” Kai asked, amused.  Shale had never seen fit to nag her before,
as the golem found 'squishy' beings’ bodily functions a weakness one did not discuss.  “Because it
has been unconscious for six days.” Shale walked over to the fireplace, her steps causing the floor
to vibrate with every step. Using the lightening crystals in embedded in her forearms, Shale lit the wood
set there. Maker's Breath, six days?  Kai could scarcely believe it. Wouldn't have believed it, but the
golem was not one to exaggerate or joke.

“Six days, did I miss Alistair's funeral?” Kai couldn't decide if that would be a good thing or a bad thing.
“No, the elder mage magicked the body to keep it from corrupting as squishy things do.” Wynne again.
Kai had seen the mage do something similar to their food as they traveled.

“Great, so now I'm a nug steak?” Kai heard Alistair's laughing voice near her ear as if he were
standing right there. Kai looked around the almost empty room. Wishful thinking, Kai, get a
hold of yourself, she berated herself mentally. The sound of his voice had stirred up such longing
and sorrow she had to bite her lower lip and clench and unclench her hands to gain control again.

Shale's voice came back into focus still speaking as the golem had heard nothing. “Then, the
body was packed – along with the Queen and all of us – and taken to Highever. That is what it wanted,
isn't it?” Kai took a stunned look around the room and realized they had put her in her parents’
room. Arl Howe hadn't apparently had the time to rearrange the portions of Highever he hadn't burned,
what with all the arlships and the teyrnship and the dirty work for Loghain. Oh, and the fact that he was
dead after she ran the sodding bastard through with the Cousland family sword.

Seeing her parents' things still in their familiar places caused a different grief and rage to vie for
her attention.  This was a grief that she had never had the time to properly give herself to, what with
the Joining and the fall of Ostagar and the whole Blight thing. Kai stared at the floor and watched as
the rug became all misty. Shale still had her back to Kai and didn't notice her distress. Which is just as
well, what kind of comfort could one get from a figure of stone who had given up being squishy to
become a war machine?

“I shall let the others know it is awake and see that it gets food.” With that Shale turned and
moved towards the door, causing the floor to vibrate once again. “Perhaps it should dress itself?”
And then the golem shut the door. Kai would be surprised if there wasn't an implied threat about
getting clothed. Shale would, without a doubt, have no trouble throwing her into clothes if the golem had a
mind to.

Kai took tentative steps away from the bed, testing her legs for balance. It became apparent that
balance wasn't really the problem, but that her legs wanted to tremble. She made her way to a table
nearby, set with a pitcher and cup. She hadn't realized how thirsty she was until the first sip cooled
her parched throat.  Despite her desire to gulp great quantities of it, she sensibly resisted the
temptation to do so. Too much too soon, and it would all just come back up after such long time
with an empty stomach.  She had learned that the hard way after a lengthy healing session
back when they were fighting darkspawn.

Shale had said something about dressing. Kai figured that might be a prudent course of action,
since the others Shale no doubt meant to tell would include Arl Eamon, Ban Teagan, or even
Queen Anora. And Maker only knew what other nobles and sycophants who would want to
see the 'Hero of Ferelden' were here as well. Kai gave an unladylike snort. She wasn't sure if she
would laugh, cry, or stab with her dagger the first person who called her that.

The only one of her companions she worried about seeing her in her small clothes was Zevran.
And it wasn't that Zev hadn't seen her in her small clothes; camping in the woods didn't leave
a lot of privacy unless one wanted to try dressing while kneeling in a tent. No, it was that Zev
could turn something as harmless as buying a loaf of bread into a sexual innuendo.
And that he had always made his interest in her known didn't help. But she had always had Alistair
to act as a shield against Zev's come-ons. Now, she wasn't sure she was strong enough to resist,
especially since she knew she was going to long for a warm body next to her at night.
She couldn't do that to Alistair's memory, or to Zev for that matter. It would be unfair,
especially to Zev. “Unfair to Zev?! Bloody hell, woman, you better keep your daggers under
your pillow. Who knows what that slick Antivan has planned now that I am out of the way!”
Alistair's voice sounded in her ear again, and she found herself reflexively looking in the room.

Then, another frightening thought caused Kai to groan inwardly.  Leliana, the shoe
obsessed bard, and Lady Isolde, Eamon's fluffy bit of a wife, would no doubt conspire
together to dress her according to her 'station.' She really didn't think she could deal with that.
“What, you don't fancy layers of toile, tons of ribbons, and looking like a meringue?” Kai heard
Alistair's voice again as if he were standing right beside her. She spun around fully expecting
to see him standing there grinning at her. OK, she thought, I
really do need to eat. Can auditory hallucinations be caused by a lack of food?

Kai looked at the pile of clothes folded neatly next to the pitcher, which she hadn't noticed
in her quest to slake her thirst.  She started to take up what looked to be a simple tunic-type shirt,
thank The Maker, when she saw a red rose laid gently on top of the shirt.

Alistair's rose, the rose she later learned had been growing on a dead rose bush and had
caused Leliana to join them as it was a sign from The Maker for her to do so. A rose
that never withered or bruised or seemed to take damage. Its perfume remained as well.
She buried her nose in it now, as she had many, many times before.  It transported her to
that night in camp when Alistair had given it to her.

                          *******************

“Here, look at this. Do you know what this is?” Alistair asked as he had handed her the
crimson bloom. 

“Is this a trick question?” she quipped, a smile dancing at the corners
of her lips.

“Yes, absolutely! I am trying to trick you. Is it working? I just about had you didn't I?” His grin had
mirrored her own.  Then his smile faded, and he looked sad for a moment. “I picked it in Lothering.
I remember thinking, how could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair
and ugliness?” He paused for a moment. “I probably should have left it alone, but I couldn't.
The darkspawn would come, and their taint would just destroy it. So I've had it ever since.”
Alistair shuffled from foot to foot. “I thought that I might give it to you, actually.” Kai watched
as a flush crept up his cheeks, and he looked as if he were afraid she was going to laugh at
him, so he hurried on. “In a lot of ways, I think the same thing when I look at you.” This statement
caused him to blush even more.

Kai had glanced down at the rose and then at this man, who did not know how good a
man he was. “That is a sweet thought, and a wonderful compliment.” Kai felt a blush of her
own creeping up her neck.

“I'm glad you like it. I was just thinking, here I am doing all this complaining and you haven't
exactly been having a good time of it yourself. You've had none of the good experiences of being a Gray
Warden since your Joining. Not a word of thanks or congratulations.  It has all been death and
fighting and tragedy.” His expression was one of hopefulness as if he desired her approval,
but expected to get kicked instead.

Kai inwardly fumed at Arl Eamon for being so weak that he allowed his Orlesian fluff of a
pretty young wife to make a little boy's life hell, and then insist he be given into what
amounted to slavery by sending him to the Chantry. All because his feather-headed spouse
was jealous and thought he was Eamon's bastard, not King Maric's.  Some of her dire thoughts
for the Lady Isolde must have shown on her face because Alistair got more nervous and
almost stopped. Kai gave him a brilliant smile and put a comforting hand on his arm, so he
continued.

“I thought that maybe I should say something. Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are
amidst all this darkness.”  Alistair pinched his fingers together and blushed even harder, if
that were possible. Kai felt her heart sort of do a dance and tip over in her chest, and she
realized in a blink that she was falling in love with this kind and wonderful man. She looked into his
dark gray eyes and at his hopeful expression, and knew she could not help herself.

Suddenly, she found her own voice choked up, and it was hard to speak. “I feel the same way
about you,” she managed, even though she feared that after telling him her sudden feelings, he would
reject her. She thought, This must be how Alistair feels, wanting so badly the approval of another.

He had smiled that lopsided grin at her and said, “I am glad you like it. Now if we could move
on past this awkward, embarrassing stage and get right to the steamy bits, I would
appreciate it.” She countered his humor with her own. “OK, off with the armor then!” Kai's smile
widened as his already pink face turned scarlet. He laughed nervously.

“Bluff called! Damn, she saw right through me.” He had shuffled his feet some more
while Kai resisted the urge to laugh at the both of them. “I'll be standing over here,” he gestured
behind him to camp, “until the blushing stops. Just to be safe.  You know how it is.”

                              ********************************************

Her internal reflection was broken by the sound of someone opening the door to the bedroom.
“Thunder humper!” Kai cursed under her breath as she tried to quickly grab the robe that was
at the foot of the bed. Daydreaming instead of dressing, serves you right if it
turns out to be Leli or Lady Isolde with satin and silk, she chastised herself. She barely
had time to register that the robe had been her mother’s before a male hand holding a  tray
appeared around the edge of the door. Well, not Leliana or Isolde, Ban Teagan or Eamon then. 
“Blast it!” Kai huffed as she tried to tie up the robe. As she fumbled with the ribbons, the hurrying
only making it slower and harder, she heard a well loved voice. “Mother would be appalled at your
language if she could hear you now, little sister.”

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 15 mai 2010 - 07:36 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

SPOILERS!

Apophis yes, you do find out where she is getting her funds! And thanks for the link to FF. Shadow and Light of Dragon posted my link on the list too.

And I hope not too creepy, Apophis.   What would you do if the person you loved most was going to have to spend their lives on a plane of existance without you?  And Alistair can block things out, so he doesn't have to explain to his mother in law,  what Kai is doing.  So, I wasn't planning on having him watch, that would be creepy. ROFL!  I wasn't going for that kind of fanfic!

And it is funny that Alistair would suggest Zevran, but better the enemy you know than the one you don't?  LOL!

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 09 mars 2010 - 08:27 .

[Shadow of Light Dragon]

Ack, something is wrong with the formatting here, or is it just me? The text is going waaaaaaaaaay off the right side of the page. >.<



I don't know if this will fix it, but you could try using the BBCode button when you copy/paste your story? See if that works, otherwise it's going to be hard to read here ;_;

[Gilgamesh1138]

I know, I don't know what happened! I am so sorry folks!

OK,I am a complete tech idiot. But I asked my husband who isn't and he didn't know what BBCode button was either. So I feel better, and not such a dork for asking. What is that? So I can fix this mess! UGH!

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 07 mars 2010 - 08:16 .

[Shadow of Light Dragon]

Sent you a PM Hope you can get it fixed!

[Gilgamesh1138]

I did re do with the bbc code, but it doesn't seem to be fixing it. : (

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 3

 Kai forgot the damnableties and spun around to find her brother Fergus
alive and placing a tray on the table.  It was a good thing he had managed to
set itdown completely before Kai launched herself at him, saying his nameover and
over again.  She buried her face in his neck as hot tears wet his collar. She couldn't
believe it.  She had searched for any sign of him before the Joining while in the Kocari Wilds. 
She had forced herself to look at the faces of every bloated corpse they had come upon, thinking
one of them was going to be him.

When none had been, she had hoped to search again but had been dissuaded in Lothering. 
Morrigan had pointed out he was either dead, would show with stragglers in the North, or would
soon be dead due to the horde of darkspawn in the Wilds.  Since she did not have the luxury of time
to look for him, she had been forced to give up.  She had put aside any hope and left her brother for dead. 
Soon, tears of joy turned to tears of shame and guilt.  She had abandoned him just as she had Mother
and Father.

Fergus just held her and stroked her hair the way Sten had.  He told her it wasn't her
fault, but she knew better.  Fergus didn't know what else to do, as she wasn't a person
who gave way to tears easily, but she seemed unable to help herself, lately.  She hadn't
even cried when she broke her arm in her first battle training trying to use a shield.  In fact,
the only time Fergus had ever seen her cry like this was when an elven playmate had been
ruthlessly run over by a visiting noble's carriage.  Kai knew he must be wondering what to with her
now, just as he had wondered back then.  But she could not hold back; something had to give or
she would break.  Finally, the grief seemed to abate some, like steam escaping from a dwarven
made water pipe.  Fergus gently pulled her up from the floor and sat her down at the table in front
of the tray.  He handed her a napkin which she used to wipe her face and her running nose. 
Great, her eyes felt like sand and acid had been rubbed into them.

"Eat or that stone friend of yours will break me in two.  And I am not so sure about that giant
fellow, Sten?"  Kai nodded.  "I am not sure he won't rip my arms off if I don't feed you.  I like your
friends, little sister. They are very protective of you."   Fergus poured her another glass of water,
 aving brought a second pitcher in case she had emptied the first.  "Though I have to admit,
the Antivan elf seemed to be flirting with me."  Kai knew he was trying to lighten her mood, so
she obliged him with a laugh.

"Don't be too flattered, brother dear, Zev flirts with everyone."  Kai picked up the horn spoon
next to the bowl of steaming broth. She carefully spooned some up and took a tentative sip. 
It was spiced with herbs, she suspected some for healing as well as those for flavor. 
"What happened to you Fergus?" Kai asked as she broke off a small piece of bread to soak in
the broth.

"I was out on patrol as you know.  I never made it back to Ostagar.  We were set upon by a
band of darkspawn.  I woke up in a Chasind's hut, wounded and feverish.  By the time I had
healed enough to leave, you had already begun to stop the Blight."

Kai looked down at her bowl.  "I am so sorry about Oriana and Oren.  Oh Fergus, I should
have looked harder for you!"  Kai balled her hands up next to the tray.

"I know you are sorry for them, and I try not to think of them too much.  But, you did the
right thing, little sister."  Fergus grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him.  "You did
your duty, and we Couslands always..."

"Always do our duty first.  Those were some of the last words Father said to me."  Kai's eyes
swam with tears, but she genuinely laughed.  "You are turning into Father in your old age, brother!"

Fergus laughed.  "And you are turning into Mother.  But you won't see me grow older if you don't eat.
Remember your rather large and insistent friends?"  Fergus nudged her bowl closer.

"Hah, you are turning into Mother more than I am, brother dear. You nag just like her!"  It felt
good to have the old familiar banter with someone who knew her so well.  But her smile
quickly turned pensive again as she remembered the last time they were all together before
Fergus left.  She wondered how long it would be before such memories were welcome rather
than sad.  Kai continued to eat; after all, she liked her brother in one piece.  She was sure that Sten
and Shale were just joking, or at least mostly joking.  So they sat in companionable silence.

"Oh, I like your brother, I just wish we had met in person."  Alistair's voice came again in her ear,
and she joggled the spoon, spilling some broth.  Luckily, Fergus paid no notice, and she continued
to soak pieces of bread and spoon up broth.  She soon found herself full, though; her stomach was
not used to holding much.

She set the spoon aside and looked at her brother's handsome face, so like their father's.  "Fergus,
when is the funeral?  I know they held it off.  Figuring it must have taken, if the roads were clear,
about four days from Denerim to get here?  Then another two days, while everyone waited for me
to wake up." Kai found herself nibbling more bread though her stomach had turned queasy. 
"I would guess we need to get it done, and I would like to get it over with."  Especially, Kai thought,
just to get past the false praise Anora no doubt meant to lavish on Alistair now that he was out of the
way of her crown and throne.

"What, you don't enjoy simpering political clap trap, my love?"  Again that beloved voiced sounded
as if he sat right beside her.  It was squeezing her heart to a pulsing bruise; she didn't know if she
was just tormenting herself as some form of punishment for letting him sacrifice himself. 

Then Kai had another thought.  Anora would indeed shower Alistair's memory with an eloquent
speech worthy of any gardener needing composting material.  But it wouldn't hide her hatred
of him from anyone who remembered her being put in the tower when she refused to swear
allegiance to Alistair. She had been released to be queen because he fell, as he had ordered. 
But she would not forget.  Nor was she likely to forget who had made Alistair king at the Landsmeet. 
Kai might need to hire a food taster, or since that could cause someone to die, ask Zev about antidotes. 
"What is on your mind, little sister? You seem lost in troubling thoughts."  Fergus eyed her across the table.

"Fergus, Anora is only queen because Alistair fell.  I promised Anora I would support her in the
Landsmeet, and then I made Alistair king.  I don't think she is going to harbor much love for me,
and  her anger may fall on you too."

"You have never been one to go back on your word, sister. I know there is more to this story." 
Fergus lifted an eyebrow.  So much like Father, she thought.  Kai figured she should start with
the confrontation with Loghain after they got to Denerim. Unlike Anora, Kai and Fergus had been
raised in the nobility with all of its political maneuvering.  Anora had been raised to it later in childhood. 
Kai told Fergus of Anora's elven handmaiden showing up at Eamon's estate with a tale of woe
and kidnapping.  Of a daughter in danger from her father, her very life supposedly threatened.  "Hmm,
I find that hard to believe."  Fergus scratched his chin.  He echoed exactly what Kai had thought.
"Loghain may have been a regicide and a deserter, but he would never have killed his only child or
allowed someone else to do so."

Kai told Fergus of using her secret weapon, the Antivan elf Zeveran, assassin and heart breaker
of men and women everywhere.  Zev had agreed that it was suspicious and that he would do what
he could.  So Kai had stalled Erlina the handmaiden, saying they needed several days to prepare in
case the disguises didn't work.  When Erlina agreed without much protest, Kai's suspicions had been
given a little boost.  She knew that Anora was in no real danger from Howe.  "So I take it your friend found
out something that made you play Anora along?"

"What Zev discovered was fascinating to say the least, brother."  Kai leaned forward.  "He found
out that Anora had staged the whole thing.  Including paying a mage to 'magic' the door.  All designed
to convince Eamon and myself of Anora's loyalty in spite of her father."   Kai found herself playing with the
horn spoon, an occupational hazard for a rogue used to playing with daggers and always keeping her
hands busy.

"This is getting more intriguing by the minute."  Fergus grinned at her.

"Oh to be sure, that wasn't the half of it.  Anora had set her little co-conspirator to leak that there was a
kidnapping taking place to Loghain's second, Ser Cauthrien.  If I had asked Anora to confirm that we
were rescuing her, she would have lied and told her father's soldiers that we were abducting her."

"She was playing both sides against the middle, it seems," Fergus grunted.

"I suspect that she was just using us to hold the crown.  When she realized that the winds were
now blowing against her father and Howe, she needed to switch tactics and sides.  When it started to
unravel, Anora was looking out for Anora."

"Well, she is her father's daughter."  Alistair's voice again whispered in
her ear.

Kai went on.  "Since I knew to expect Ser Cauthrien and a few dozen of Loghain's guards, I hid a
few lock picks in the braids of my hair and simply surrendered peacefully when we were confronted.

"Ah! That is my resourceful little sister.  I think Anora met her match in you."

Kai smiled.  "Well, you can see why I was not about to really support her as queen."

"Indeed, she reminds me of something.  Do you remember that zoological book we used to
look at as children?  The one with all the colored pictures of the animals of Thedas?"  Kai nodded.

Fergus continued, "Anora reminds me of the Orlesian viper called Fleur de Lis Le Mort. 
Very pretty, very delicate, and very..."

"Very nasty.  Yes, me too.  And it fits Anora to a T.  Which means you need to watch your back as
well, Fergus.  I will not, cannot, lose you too."  Kai looked at her brother, love and fear warring on her face.

"Well then, maybe I should let your Antivan assassin land one, little sister.  An assassin could
provide great protection, no?"  Fergus laughed at the look on her face.

"I wouldn't let that sodding elf touch me, if I were you. You don't know where he's been or what
species he's been with," came Oghren's gruff and raspy voice as her friends came trooping in.

"My dwarven friend, I am wounded!  I only sleep with things that walk on two legs I assure you!" Zev's
voice came through the doorway as he followed Oghren into the room.

Kai smiled and turned to address the gathering of her extended family.

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 11 mai 2010 - 02:27 .

[Stuffy38]

It's a good story, I have been following it on FF.net.



Page formatting on this forum is a bit out of whack.

[Gilgamesh1138]

Thanks Stuffy! I am sorry about the whack a doodle way it is here.

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 4 


Apparently Oghren was carrying provisions, if your idea of provisions included two pony
kegs of ale, that is.  Oghren had one under each arm as he staggered through the doorway. 
Zev followed behind with another tray holding wooden mugs and a jug of milk?  Kai felt her
eyebrows rising in curiosity. Argus, her Mabari war hound, came behind Zev herding Schmooples,
Leliana's pet nug. Schmooples's nose twitched, and it eyed the room nervously.

The nug always looked nervous, truth be told.  After all, in Orzammar Schmooples would
be a snack, so it had good reason, Kai figured. Its pink and mostly hairless body looked like an
unholy cross between a rabbit and a pig. Kai had gotten Schmooples as a gift for the bard when she
found there was something else besides shoes that Leliana loved. The only problem with Schmooples
was keeping an eye on Oghren, who tended to eye the creature the way Kai might eye a ham whenever he
was drunk, hungry, or both.

If Schmooples was being herded by Argus, that meant that Leliana must not be far behind, and
it wasn't a second before her fiery red hair showed around the door frame. The bard had yet another
bottle of alcohol, a honey mead from the looks of it. Leli refused to drink that 'horse ******,' as she put
it, that Oghren favored. In the other hand, she held her lute.  Leli immediately began looking for
Schmooples and keeping an eye on Oghren.  Leliana set her bottle on the table and put herself next to
Kai, between Oghren and her pet.

Sten came next with a plate piled high with cookies.  Kai found herself smiling, So that was
what the milk was for.  Sten didn't drink alcohol, but he had an almost obsessive love of cookies. 
Leli must have had a talk with Fergus about her friends' likes and dislikes.  Just like her, Kai thought. 
Leliana could kill easily, and do it very well, but she had a sweet and kind soul.  Shale followed Sten
carrying extra chairs so no one had to sit on the floor.  It appeared the gang was all here, but for three.

Morrigan had left before the battle, after Kai had refused her offer to perform a sex rite to save
the Gray Wardens (at least that’s what Morrigan had claimed).  That really stung; Morrigan could
at least have helped fight at the end, but she had taken herself off in a snit.  Kai loved Morrigan like a
sister, and she thought the witch loved her, too.  Best not to think of that, Kai, she told herself. 
It threatened to touch on the guilt, anger, and pain she felt over the way it had all played out.

Alistair, of course, was also missing.  "Am I?  If you say so."  She was beginning to get used to hearing
his voice now.  If she was just tormenting herself, so be it.  Or a desire demon? she pointedly asked into
her own head.  "Only desire, no demon here," came the cheeky response.  Kai groaned inwardly.  Well, if
she had to torture herself, the torture would at least have his humor.  She could do nothing about it anyway.

And one more was missing, Wynne.  Kai noticed everyone judiciously trying not to make it noticeable. 
If she were going to be honest, she wasn't sure how she felt about Wynne's conspiring with Alistair to
stop her from taking the final blow.  Her feelings about that seemed to be behind the same numb wall
that closed off her grief for her family and Alistair.  She guessed not seeing Wynne right now might not
be a bad idea at this point.

"You need to forgive her, love.  She only did what I, as her king, ordered her to do."  Alistair's voice
again in her  ear, tinged with concern and regret.

You would, she thought.  Who knew Alistair could be so manipulative and sneaky?  "I learned it from
Morrigan," came another cheeky response.  Kai gave herself a mental head slap.  Her internal exchange
was broken off by a hand on her shoulder.

"I am so sorry about Alistair, Kai," Leliana said, her blue eyes filled with tears. 

"We all are, Warden.  The little pike twirler will be missed."  Oghren poured himself a mug of ale and
made it disappear.

"Kadan."  For one word, Sten could infuse it with multiple layers of meaning.  His tone, too, said he was
sorry and that he had respect for Alistair.

"Aw, isn't that nice, Sten liked me in the end.  Though I really wish Oghren wouldn't call me that," Alistair's
voice continued as if he were right there taking it all in.  Ugh, maybe she needed to make a trip to the Circle
to find out why she was talking to herself, if that is all this was.  Kai felt her eyes welling up as she smiled at
them all, trying to comfort them, comforting her.

"To answer your question, Warden, the funeral is tomorrow."  Oghren proceeded to pour more ale into his
mug.  "It was going to take place with or without you."

"Anora said she didn't want to delay the funeral out of respect...," Leliana started to say.

"Out of respect for her own itching hands to get the sodding crown!" Oghren interrupted.  "As soon as
he funeral is over, it is back to Denerim and to the Landsmeet Hall.  The Revered Mother will bless Anora,
and that nug humping chit will be queen."  Oghren took a long drink from his mug and belched.

Fergus, who had been listening to all this in silence, laughed at Oghren's assessment.  "My dear
sister and I were just having a chat about our soon-to-be queen of Ferelden, again."

"The drunken dwarf is quite correct.  One would guess that this Anora creature is only having the funeral
because of appearances," Shale growled from where she was standing.

Leli's lilting Orlesian accent concurred, "She knows that the people would never allow her to forgo the
funeral of the man who saved them.  If I didn't know better, I would almost swear that this woman was
Orlesian nobility.  She could play the 'Great Game' well enough."

"But enough of such talk," interjected Zev's accented voice.  "We have ale, we have
wine, we have beautiful women, and if our dear Leliana would be so kind," he tilted his head
toward the bard, "we will have song."

"We have nug which is tasty!" burst out Oghren, for which he received a smack on
the arm from Leliana, jarring his mug and spilling some of its contents.  "Careful, woman! 
Fergus was kind enough to dig this out of Highever's meager stores.  Don't waste it!" 

Oghren poured another mug and handed it to Fergus.  "You look like a lightweight to me." 
He winked and made yet another mug disappear before wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

"Oh, you are so crude!" Leliana huffed, but she grabbed her lute and began to adjust the strings. 
Leli started with a song Kai knew well, as they had sung it many times around the campfire.  It was
a sad and humorous tale of two sisters vying for the same man with the older sister trying to do the
younger in.  It required the group to join in on the chorus so everyone felt a part of it.  It had been one of
Alistair's favorites because the elder sister and miller, who ultimately let the sibling drown, got their comeuppance.

"There were two sisters side by side, sing I dum, sing I day.  There were two sisters side by side, the boys
are bound for me..."  And soon everyone, even Fergus, had joined in.  And so the night went with snatches of
songs, stolen cookies, laughter and stories. It became apparent to Kai that they were all trying to keep her
mind off of tomorrow, and she loved them even more for it.  Still, the dread was there if she let it surface.  Eventually,
Kai found her eyes drooping and her head nodding.

"Well, time to let the Warden get some shut eye," slurred Oghren. "Of course you would think with
six sodding days of sleep, she would have had enough by now."  This statement earned him another
smack on the arm from Leliana.  "Watch it, woman, I might mistake you for Branka and crawl into bed
with you."  Leli  just clucked her tongue, picked up her lute and Schmooples, and nudged the dwarf towards
the door with her foot.

Slowly, they all filed out with the exception of Argus and Fergus.  Argus planted himself on the floor
near the foot  of the bed.  Fergus hovered near the door.  "Good night, little sister. I am in your old room
if you need me."  With that he kissed her on the forehead and shut the door.  Kai turned back towards
the bed.  Guess it is a good thing I didn't get dressed after all, she thought. Instead, she took off the
robe – she never had gotten the damn thing tied in the front – and laid it on the foot of the bed.  Kai found
herself filled with the dread she had pushed away all night and hugged her arms around herself.

"My dear Gray Warden, what distressing thoughts are in your mind?"  Kai whirled around to find Zevran
standing in a corner near the fireplace looking at her.  She laughed rather than screamed, just barely,
which was a good thing.  The assassin had managed to stay unnoticed in the shadows while the others
had filed out.

"Kai."  Zev rarely spoke her name, usually calling her 'my dear Gray Warden.'  And even now, he said
her name softly and with such shared sadness, she knew he was serious.  He walked towards her with
his arms open to embrace her.  He tucked her head into his muscled shoulder and held her there.  There
was nothing sexual in his touch, just the actions of someone who knew what it was to lose someone you
loved with all your heart. Zev knew better than anyone else in their group.  He had told her of his Rinna.

"Oh Zev, I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can be at the funeral tomorrow," Kai snuffled into his
shoulder.  "Look at me, I killed hordes of darkspawn and faced the Archdemon, and I can't even face a
funeral."  The despair and grief she felt was surfacing faster than ever.

Zevran simply grasped her chin and made her look at him.  "You will be able to, and more importantly
you must.  You must have closure and say good bye.  Otherwise, you will not be able to move on.  I have
first hand experience with this, no?"  Zev smoothed her hair back from her forehead.  "And more importantly,
my dear friend, you will not do this alone."  He simply looked at her with his pale amber eyes.

"Come with me."  And he tugged her to the bed and tucked her in it, wrapping the feather filled duvet
around her like a child.  He tugged off his boots and climbed in bed on top of the covers next to her and
simply leaned her head on his chest.  "Now sleep, my one and only true friend."  He stoked her hair and
she listened to his heart beating.  And if he felt the tears wetting his shirt, he said nothing.  He just stroked
her hair and her back until her deep breathing told him she was finally asleep.

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 11 mai 2010 - 03:26 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 5

When she awoke, it was to sunlight shining through the high windows of her parents'
bedroom. Zev wasn't there, just an indentation where he had lain. Kai had a quick look.
Shift, check, small clothes, double check. She did a mental brow wipe, still dressed as she
had been last night. Zev had been nothing but a friend and a gentleman when she felt her eyelids
dropping.   But she was so filled with longing, she wasn't sure she trusted herself to behave and
Zev not to be tempted despite his gentle friendliness towards her.

She got out of bed, washed her face, and quickly dressed in a simple tunic and leggings,
as the second pile of  clothes turned out to be. A soft pair of leather boots were under the table.
She didn't suppose they would let her go to the funeral in her sleep shirt and robe. Isolde would
not like the tunic and leggings either. Probably, Leli wouldn't be too thrilled come to think of it, but
Leli wanted to play dress up, not “I'm better than you,” as Isolde did. Kai decided that demons in the
Fade could wear pretty dresses and dance the Remigold before she would dress up for the funeral.
This was going to be hard enough without itching and sweating in layers of toile and lace.  Kai waited
expectantly for Alistair's voice to make a comment, but it was silent. She didn't know what that
meant.

Alistair’s rose was still sitting on the table, and she tucked it in her hair, securing it with a leather tie.
Then, she called to Argus who obediently padded to her side.  Kai took one last look at the remnants of
last nights revels before the servants came in and cleaned up.  She would try to take the love and
warmth of last night with her to the dreaded event of today. She would not let Anora, the gloating
****, see how crushed and empty she was. 

Kai opened the door and walked into the hallway trying to ignore the mental images of Howe's men
and their staring, dead eyes after she had run them through and Argus had ripped out their throats.
On the night they had tried to get through her parents' bedroom door, she had no time to regret taking
their lives. She didn't allow herself to look toward her brother's bedroom, either. She didn't want to see
the image of her sister-in-law and her sweet little nephew lying in pools of their own blood.

Maker's breath, this was going to be difficult in so many ways. Kai went to the door on the right, her old
room.   She knocked and immediately turned back to study the hallway. Dairren, her lover then, had
died bleeding on her bedroom floor when Howe's men had put an arrow through his heart.
It was supposed to be her. His death had given her time to arm herself and kill those who did it.
So many bad memories, so much death caused by her or because of her. Maker, how was she
ever going to atone for all of that?

She pushed those thoughts away to focus on the memorial she had yet to sit down with
the dwarven stone mason about.  If she and Alistair had not discussed it, putting up a memorial
to Duncan at Highever, she might never have come back. Of course that was before she had
known Fergus was alive. But Duncan had been born here, and Alistair had loved him like a son.
She could not see Alistair's remains put at Weisshapt so far away from Duncan's memorial. And
if she was being honest with herself, Highever was where her parents were laid to rest, after what was
left of them had been found dumped unceremoniously on the trash midden behind Highever Castle.
Since Alistair was, to her, more than a husband regardless of the lack of a Chantry wedding, she would
have him here with her family. She didn't want him far from them either.

"Good morning, little sister." Fergus greeted her with a tug on one of her braids as he had when
they were children. He quickly closed the door, perhaps sensing her trepidation in seeing her old
room and the memories there, just as Fergus wasn't in his old room for the same reasons. Who knew
memories could cut deeper than any blade? Fergus put his arm around her waist. "Let’s go get
some breakfast." He kissed her hair and smiled at her like old times.

As they walked through the castle, Kai was surprised that the damage from Howe seemed to be
minimal, or had been cleaned up and repaired quickly. She shouldn't have been surprised, she
supposed. After all, Howe wanted to take over Highever, not destroy it. "It wasn't as extensive as
it probably looked to you that night, little sister."

Fergus echoed her thoughts yet again. Andraste's knickers, the only other person who
could complete her thoughts or even read her face so well was Alistair. And today she was
cremating his body so his ashes could be put in a memorial that had yet to be made. Her heart
squeezed in her chest painfully.

They made their way to the dining hall. Arl Eamon and Arlessa Isolde were there, as was
Eamon's brother Teagan. Teagan was speaking with Leliana & Oghren. Well Leli mostly, as
Oghren was slurping up porridge with occasional responses given through a mouthful of oats.
He would stop his slurping to bite a greasy sausage in half with bits falling into his beard.
Had he thinned his porridge with beer? Kai watched as Oghren poured ale from the mug in front of
him into the bowl. Yep, beer and porridge, well it was all grains if you thought about it.

Sten was sitting next to Oghren with a look of disgust on his face, which on Sten's almost
immobile features meant a slight crimping at the corners of his eyes and mouth. Shale, though she
did not eat, was standing behind Sten watching Oghren with the same look. And Zev was nowhere to be
seen. He may have come in early and left before Kai got here. She imagined that sleeping sitting up
against a hard wooden bed frame was not conducive to a good night’s rest.

Kai and Fergus helped themselves to bowls of porridge ladled from the big pot
sitting on the buffet table. Kai drizzled hers with honey and her favorite spices and a little cream.
She didn't think she could handle beer in it.   There were also more cookies she saw, as well as little
sweet buns swirled with spice and drizzled with honey and crushed nuts. That along with assorted fruits,
weak ales, water, and juices, were on one side of the buffet table.  On the other, there was ham
and bacon, small sausages, and scrambled eggs.  Kai eyed the ham to make sure it wasn't nug shaped.
Fergus must have told the new cook to make those sticky buns, they were one of her favorites.
The cook, Kai almost toppled her bowl, the new cook. Nan, dear, cranky old Nan. The woman who had
helped raise her and then became the cook. Nan whose lifeless body she had stepped over to get to
her father.   Kai swallowed hard against a sudden roll of nausea.   Argus whined and pressed close. 
He tilted his head at her giving her worried eyes. "I was just thinking of Nan," she explained.
Argus whined again and his eyes became sad. "I know you miss her too. She isn't here for you to
confound anymore just to amuse yourself." Kai smiled and patted his big flat head.

That statement led to the memory of Ser Gilmore, a treasured friend who had manned the gates
to let Kai and Mother find Father. Ser Gilmore, whose tortured and rotting corpse she had seen when
she was escaping from Fort Drakon after Anora's little get away.  Kai felt the nausea getting worse.
Andraste's flaming sword, would it always be like this? One terrible memory leading to another?
Despair almost swallowed her whole. She focused on patting Argus until the feeling stopped so
she wouldn't run screaming from the room.  Argus barked and looked meaningfully at her bowl of
porridge. "Ah, ham on your porridge, yes?" Kai asked him, focusing on the here and now.  Argus barked.  
"Oh, and bacon too? You better watch that you don't get fat and lazy eating so well." Argus whined.  
"OK, if you say so, bacon and ham it is." Kai smiled at him and ladled porridge for Argus laying
ham and bacon top.

She made her way to the table and sat across from Teagan and Leliana.  She set Argus's bowl
down so he could eat.  Teagan stood up as she sat.  "My lady, it is good to see you up and about." 
Teagan smiled at her and took her hand and grazed her knuckles lightly with his lips.  "We were
worried about you."  Kai caught the angry look that flashed across Lady Isolde's face.  Eamon stood
as well and gave her hand the same treatment.  Isolde's look had been what, jealousy?  Kai was not
surprised.   Any man who paid less attention to Isolde was upsetting to Isolde.  The thought struck
her that Isolde and Anora were actually very much alike.
 
"Please gentlemen, I became just Kai, when I was made a Gray Warden. While it is flattering, the
usual political niceties are not necessary. You didn't do them when I was at Redcliffe or Denerim,
please don't do them now just because I'm home."  Kai felt a blush creeping up her neck.
 Teagan laughed.  "I am afraid that our early training is hard to do away with, my...Kai,” Teagan
managed to stop himself.  "When you were at Redcliffe you were dressed in leather armor
splattered with who knows what.  It was a little easier to forget you were Lady Cousland."
 
"Well, I hardly look like a lady now, either. So just keep forgetting that I am, Okay?"  Kai heard Isolde
mutter under her breath, "That is certainly true."  Kai allowed herself a smirk at Isolde's expense.
 
"Where is Anora?" Kai couldn't bring herself to call her 'queen.'   "Oh, she is taking breakfast in her
quarters, away from the 'unwashed masses'," Teagan said with a smile at Kai.  He leaned forward
and whispered.  "Why, do you miss her company, dear lady?"
 
"Teagan!" Isolde exclaimed.  "Really, she is going to be our queen."  Kai leaned toward Teagan
and smiled.  "Hardly, and I doubt very much she misses my company, either."
 
"That would definitely be true," Fergus broke in with a grin at Teagan.  

Teagan's smile left his face, and he became serious.  "Kai, I am sorry for your loss; I know that Alistair
was...important, to you," Teagan went on delicately.   Kai looked down at her bowl, hands clenched in
her lap where they couldn't see.  She made her face a neutral mask before she dared look up
again.  "He wasn't just important, I loved him, with all my heart. But, thank you Teagan. 

I know he was important to you as well.  You weren't his uncle by blood, but he always thought
of you and Eamon as such."  Kai looked at Eamon whose eyes had gone bright.   "Eamon," Kai
began slowly. "Alistair always regretted his behavior towards you when you came to visit him at the
Chantry.  He always wanted to apologize to you.  He...he knew..." Kai had trouble keeping her composure. 
“He knew you cared for him, and so did I.  I found his mother's amulet while you were comatose. 
You had it repaired.  I...I gave it to him.  It meant so much to him.  He meant to ask you about it. 
To talk to you about your repairing it and saving it for him.  It meant more than he could say. 
I hope you don't mind that I gave it to him."  Kai couldn't continue – grief, despair, and anger
were threatening to break down the numbing barrier that encased them all.
 
"I...I don't mind that you did.  I am glad you did," Eamon's voice began to crack, and he simply
gasped out, "Thank you, I am glad you told me.  If you will all please excuse me?"  And with that
Eamon left the dining hall.   Kai watched him go, wishing the memory had brought him comfort
instead of pain, but maybe, as with all such things, in time it would be a good memory and
not a sad one.  She felt she made the right decision to tell him.  Kai took a horn spoon and
scooped up porridge covering for the silence she had caused with Eamon's leaving.  It was after a
couple of spoonfuls that Kai realized Isolde was staring at her with an angry glare.  Kai simply returned
her look and cocked an eyebrow; it was Isolde who looked away.  Teagan reached across the table
and gave her wrist a gentle tug, smiled and winked at her.  It was then that Isolde got up in a huff and left.
 
"You seem to be good at clearing a room, Warden," Oghren grinned down the table at her.  "I thought
I was the only one with that talent."  Teagan and Fergus both laughed, Sten and Shale just
glared at the dwarf, and Leliana put her face in her hands.
 
Kai smiled, but found she had no appetite.  The porridge seemed to be sitting in her stomach in a ball.
"If you will all excuse me?  I think I may have cleared myself out of the room as well.  What time is the fune...ceremony?"

 Kai couldn't even bring herself to say the word “funeral” out loud.   "In about two hours, dear lady. 
Anora wanted to have it early and then start towards Denerim.  Since you are awake and one of
hose being honored, you will need to go too," Teagan supplied, looking across at her.  "As I
understand it, there are huge crowds amassing in Denerim to see the one who saved us all."
 
"Then they should be here, the one who saved them lies on a stone slab awaiting pyre and torch." 
She hadn't meant it to sound so harsh, but there it was.  She had just tossed it out there
like the dead and mouldering rabbit Argus had put in Morrigan's pack.
 

Whatever was the matter with her?  All of her noble training seemed to have been left
behind somewhere, probably in the Deep Roads.  That place had a way of burning away the
non-essentials with its horrors.  She stood up, a flush creeping across her cheeks as she balled
her fists.  "I am so terribly sorry, I don't know what has come over me.   I think I need some air,
and...."  She couldn't finish, she simply turned and almost ran from the dining hall.

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 15 mai 2010 - 01:26 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 6


Kai's stomach was rolling with waves of nausea so bad that a cold sweat had broken out on her skin
and she felt chilled to the bone. She dashed around the corner from the dining hall and up the walk to atrium.
She just made it to atrium where she put her head into the niche behind the outdoor couch to be horribly
sick into a potted plant.  Even after the two spoonfuls of porridge she had managed to eat before she so
gracefully cleared the room had come up, she kept retching until there was nothing but bitter bile burning her throat.

Finally, thank the Maker, the heaving stopped. She wiped her mouth and her watering eyes. Poor plant,
Kai thought.  She turned to find only Argus had followed her out of the hall, for which she was grateful.
She really  didn't want their sympathies or kindness at the moment. She probably didn't deserve it with her
boorish behavior anyway. Oh, if Mother could see her now.

Kai turned to Argus, who whined and looked at her with concerned eyes. "Thanks for coming to find
me, boy." She scratched him behind the ears. Since she had two hours before the...funeral, she made
herself say that word, if only in her head; and if solitude was what she wanted, she would grab a book and
go out to the small garden near the beehives next to the orchards. It was a favorite childhood spot full of
good memories and unlikely to trigger a sad one.

Kai continued past the atrium and around the corner to the sleeping quarters. She made her way past
the first doorway leading to the hall with the guest rooms. As she passed, she heard Lady Isolde speaking
in an angry voice, her Orlesian accent heavier due to her ire, "I can't believe it. She talks to my
husband about that bane of our existence, Maric's bastard. I thought I had gotten rid of him, and he
keeps turning up like a bad coin. He doesn't even have the decency to stay out of our lives now that he is
dead!"

Kai’s vision seemed to narrow to a pin point and then expanded outward again with great speed.
Everything became clear and highly defined. She could count the threads in the rug at her feet, see
every chip in every stone. Kai felt as if she were out of her body and just watching. She watched as she
went into the room to find the lady in question talking to an elven servant. She watched as she stared
at Isolde marking every wrinkle on the woman's face, her pouty full lips, her big doe eyes. She saw all
of this while speaking to the servant in a voice that didn't quite sound like her own. "If you will please
excuse us, I need to speak to the Lady Isolde, we have...unfinished business," Kai said, never taking her
eyes off of the face in front of her.

As soon as Kai heard the door close she watched her hand, as it seemed to sail of its own accord, slap
Isolde soundly across the face. It was so loud the report echoed off the stone walls of the chamber, and
Isolde rocked back on her heels clutching a hand to her cheek, her eyes wide. "You cowan ****!" Kai heard
her own voice hiss.  "If you ever speak about Alistair like that again, I will personally rip out your shrewish
tongue and feed it to Argus." Kai's voice didn't rise above a quiet conversational tone. It was cold, calm,
incredibly smooth, and oh so dangerous. The tone caused Isolde to step back from her, not that she could
go far or she would find herself aflame by stepping into the fireplace. Kai took a subtle joy in visualizing
Isolde on fire and thinking about how she wouldn't ****** on her to put her out.
What has gotten into me? the detached part of her mind wondered.

"Do you know how close I came to letting Jowan stick you like a pig and bleed you to save your son?
Oh, it was so tempting. So very, very tempting." Kai felt her eyes narrowing and her lips peeling back in
a feral mask. Argus, catching his mistress’s anger at the woman before her, peeled his own lips back
and growled as well. Kai stayed him with a flick of her hand.

"Do you know why I didn't? Because Alistair would not have wanted it, Alistair. Even after you made
his life a living hell. Taking from him the only home he had ever known. Making him sleep in the stables
at Redcliffe and with the dogs at the Arlship in Denerim, like he was some piece of garbage! And when
that wasn't enough, you made Eamon basically send him into slavery with the Maker forsaken Chantry
where he was miserable." Kai watched as Isolde's big brown eyes got wider. "Even after all that, he had
forgiven you."

Isolde stuttered, "I thought he was Eamon's; it was embarrassing. I was only looking out for my son
and his future!  Alistair was a stone around Eamon's neck, I was only trying...." Kai's other hand snaked
out and slapped Isolde's other cheek with a loud crack. Well, at least she'll match, that detached part of her
mind noted.

"You mean like you did when you hired a blood mage to train Connor? How many people have you
hurt, Isolde, with your own selfish interests? Maker, you are dumber than a crate full of hair.
Eamon is such a good man, it is a wonder what he sees in you." Kai felt a small cynical smile play
on her lips. "Oh, never you mind, I know what charms he sees. It must be the buxom chest, the ‘suck
me’ lips and those big vapid eyes," Kai hissed at Isolde, her tone making it sound as lurid as one might
find visiting The Pearl, Denerim’s famous brothel. "It certainly isn't your brains he is enamored of.
I watched you with Teagan who, by Andraste's grace, is not as easily swayed by your obvious charms. 
" Kai strung out the word “charms,” making it sound as tawdry as possible. "Charms which can be
found in any brothel in Thedas, by the by."

Kai kept her voice calm and conversational, but she wielded it like a blade. "Teagan
didn't trust you either, or how did you figure we got into the castle to save him?" Kai laughed,
a low and sultry chuckle of her own. The detached part of herself amazed at how nasty she could be.  
"You act all pious, but you are nothing in comparison to Alistair. He is...was a better person than
you could ever hope to be." Kai watched dispassionately as tears fell from Isolde's eyes.

"As for me, the darkspawn will be holding ballroom dances with the dwarves in the Deep Roads
before you will have my forgiveness. Alistair was better than both of us it seems." And with that Kai
spun on her heel to leave.

Kai had almost reached the door when another thought occurred to her and she spun back to look
at Isolde. "You know, Isolde, I may not forgive you, but I do need to thank you. If you hadn't done what you
did, I might not ever have met and had the privilege of loving that wonderful man. 
" She heard Isolde sob before she opened the door and walked right into Ban Teagan.

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 15 mai 2010 - 12:50 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 7


Kai felt all of her rage at Isolde drain out of her like water in a broken pot the minute she ran into Teagan,

literally.  She was snapped back into her body instead of being a casual observer, and the adrenaline stopped,

causing her legs to go shaky, and Teagan had to catch her.

Kai realized that he had one hand on her neck and one on her waist almost as if he was going to kiss her, which was

ridiculous as the man was more likely to slap her for her ill treatment of his sister-in-law than to put his lips

on hers.  Kai felt a her face turning scarlet, and she felt feverish and light headed and dreadfully embarrassed. 

The nausea seemed to be coming back as well.  "I don't know how much you heard," she began lamely, and it only

caused her to flush more.

Teagan merely changed the position of his hands switching them to her shoulders, making sure she could stand on her

own before removing them.  His face was impassive.  Kai felt horrible; she had great respect for Teagan and had no

wish for him to think ill of her, but she was not sorry.  Isolde deserved every smack and every harsh word.  Teagan

took a look around as if to check for any others who might be lurking then grabbed her hand, tugging her to follow

him.  Kai was too light-headed to put up much protest, and she and Argus found themselves being taken along to the

very garden where Kai had intended to read.

Teagan sat her on a stone bench there, made sure she wouldn't fall over, and then seated himself next to her.  Kai

could feel the cool stone of the bench through the leggings she wore and the cool stone of the garden wall where

she rested her twirling head.  She closed her eyes and listened to the drone of the bees.  They had always soothed

her as a child when she was upset, and they did so now.  When she dared look at Teagan, who had remained silent

thus far, she found him grinning at her...with admiration?  By Andraste’s knickers, the man was grinning as if he

were proud!  "You have no idea, how many times I have wanted to slap that woman silly myself." 

Kai found she couldn't help herself and burst out laughing hysterically until tears poured out of her eyes.  Teagan

laughed with her until they were both snuffling and twittering.  They had a tendency to cause each other to start

again if they caught each others' expression.  Finally, it seemed to wind down. Kai hadn't realized how much she

needed that release.  Teagan pulled out a pouch from his belt and opened it up.  He took out what looked like a

napkin from the dining hall and opened it, revealing sticky buns.

"Your brother said these are your favorites.  You looked so pale and you ate so little, I thought you might need

more.  You have been asleep for six days.  We spoon fed you broth and water, but you haven't eaten much."  Teagan

held out the napkin towards her.  She looked into his kind face and felt herself flushing more.  She took a bun and

broke off a piece to pop in her mouth.  It was then she realized he had said we tried to spoon broth into you.
"Teagan, I didn't realize you had taken care of me while I was unconscious.  I...ah...thank you," she finished

lamely.

"It was nothing. Your mage friend, Wynne, had to practically be dragged away from your side and forced to rest,

heal, and eat herself."  This statement caused no small amount of guilt to come surging past the anger and

indifference she had felt towards Wynne so far.  "And when your brother Fergus was found alive, he became part of

our 'Kai rotation,' as we called it.  We bathed you, put poultices on some of the wounds, Wynne healed the broken

bones and your cracked skull."

Teagan popped a sticky bun into his mouth.  "Oh these are good!" he said once he swallowed.

"Bathed me? You didn't..." Kai felt her face turning bright scarlet again.  To which Teagan merely laughed.
"No dear lady, not I, your virtue is safe from me."  Kai felt herself giving a great sigh of relief.  Teagan smiled

and put another sticky bun in her hand.  "So, did the honey on these delightful confections come from these hives?"

Teagan made a sweeping gesture toward the skeps placed in various locations in the garden.

"I doubt you wanted to talk about beekeeping or sticky buns, my lord," she teased him with his title a smile

curving her lips.  But Teagan didn't smile back.  Instead he looked sad.

"What you said to Isolde."  Kai groaned inwardly and waited for a mild scolding.  Surely she deserved it a little,

even if she wasn't penitent.  "It was all true.  She treated Alistair shamefully, and Eamon allowed it to keep the

peace in his house and because he was infatuated with his new young bride." Teagan looked away.  "But I did nothing

to help him either.  I could have taken him in, given him a home.  I didn't, I was a coward."  Teagan looked at her

then down at his hands.

Kai grasped one of Teagan's hands.  "You weren't a coward Teagan.  You were a young man, with no wife and a bannorn

to learn how to manage."  She gave his hand a squeeze and felt reassured when the pressure was returned.  "Besides,

it was not yours to do.  King Maric put your brother in charge of his son, not you.  And while I respect your

brother in so many ways, this was a major failing on his part. But, so too have I failed of't'ner myself, as my old

nanny used to say."  Kai bit her lip, thinking on how to continue, to explain.  "It is not so much the failure,

Teagan.  It was her cruelty that made me so angry.  I have seen enough of deliberate cruelty, and I am sick and

full to bursting with it."

Teagan looked at her with a grateful smile, though she had no idea why he should feel any gratitude.  It wasn't

Teagan's fault to her mind.  Kai allowed herself to look around the garden; it was refreshingly the same as it had

been when she last saw it.  Here, she could pretend that the woman sitting on the bench with Teagan was the same as

the one who had last been in it.  Not this woman who had slapped another.  This woman whose hands could, and had,

slit people's throats and driven arrows into eye sockets.  A woman who had become a sword, all the slag melted off

and pounded into a blade so sharp she had even cut herself.

Kai was jarred from her thoughts by Argus placing his head on her lap and whining and looking at her and Teagan. 

He barked, which startled both of them, and ran to the sundial.  "Ah, so your friend is right.  By the sundial my

lady, it is time we went to the funeral.  I don't think Anora will forgive any tardiness."  Teagan offered her his

arm, and they both took their leave of the garden.  Kai gave it one last longing look over her shoulder before they

turned the corner and it passed from view.

Anora, either anticipating or wanting a big crowd, had planned for the funeral to be held in one of the bigger

harvested fields outside of Highever.  There would be room for everyone, and since there was moist soil, they were

not likely to set anything afire as they cremated the body.  The body, oh Maker! Kai forced herself to swallow

continually and not vomit.  If she kept throwing up she would be defeating the purpose of everyone’s forcing food

on her.

Kai, Teagan, and everyone who had visited her last night, except for Zev, were in front of the large crowd gathered

in the field.  Zev’s absence caused a momentary panic which abated when the Antivan simply materialized as if from

thin air at her side.  Anora, of course, stood near the bier.  Her golden hair swept back into her usual pretty

braided buns.  She was dressed immaculately and looked beautiful.

Yes, pretty little viper indeed, mused Kai.  Anora kept shooting her looks, which Kai had expected.  Her brother

Fergus leaned to whisper in her ear, "Ah, Anora does not look happy to see you awake and standing, little sister." 

She could hear the smile in his voice as he stood behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"No doubt she hoped I might just pass into the Fade in my sleep.  I would say I am sorry, but I am not in a

penitent mood, brother dear," Kai jested back.  In truth her hands were clammy, her stomach had butterflies, and

she just wished it was all over.  Anora concerned her not a jot, but she was very afraid she was going to collapse

the minute she saw Alistair's body, thus letting Anora know just how weak she really was.

"Or maybe run screaming into the crowd in your small clothes?"  The voice, his voice that had for some reason been

missing all day, had returned.  She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  And right now she didn't care if it was a

desire demon or her own deranged head.  Kai put a hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh.

She took a look around behind her.  Besides Fergus, Eamon and Isolde were there.  Isolde refused to look her in the

eye, and she noticed the woman had that Orlesian face powder she favored so much caked on thicker than usual. 

Still, pink showed through on each cheek.  As Eamon looked at Kai with nothing but kindness and a sad smile, she

figured that Isolde had kept their little “chat” a secret.  Shale, Sten, Leli, Oghren, Argus and of course dear Zev

were all fanned out in a semi-circle around her.  Zev just squeezed her hand and held it.  The rest of the huge

crowd seemed to consist of mostly the same nobles who had been at the Landsmeet and the locals of Highever and the

nearby Bannorn.

It was at the edge of the crowd some distance away that she caught sight of Wynne.  Wynne looked so old and frail,

not at all like the formidable mage she had fought the darkspawn with.  Kai suddenly felt all the anger melt away

and guilt replace it, along with more sorrow.  She started to step out of the crowd to go to her, but Anora

signaled for the bearers to bring the body to the bier.

Kai watched as solemn servants walked slowly [[I like the idea that Alistair might have had an honor guard to carry

his body to the bier.  It would fit with the show Anora wants to put on.  What do you think?]] to a dirge played by

a nearby orchestra.  Ah, Anora was pulling out all the stops, she wouldn't want anything to blow her sweet little

persona.  Kai watched until they got close enough that she could start to see Alistair's armored feet, and then she

had to look away.  She found herself with a gross interest in the soil beneath her feet and the way the sun was

shining on the pebbles there.  Zev squeezed her hand, and she heard him whisper so only she could hear, "You need

to look, Kai."

She took a deep breath and schooled her face.  She was expecting that Anora had put Alistair in the same rather

ostentatious golden armor that his brother had worn.  She couldn't look at that.  Her heart was pounding painfully

in her chest.  He should be in his Dead Legion armor, not looking like some pompous noble!  He should be alive, I

should be dead, her mind was screaming at her.  The sun was shining and the birds were singing and he was dead! 

She should be dead; the world shouldn't be going on as if he were still here.  Should be, should be, should be kept

echoing over and over again like a hammer in her skull.  Her breath was coming in great rasps like the last gasps

of the dying.  Her heart continued to gallop madly in her chest and seemed to be getting louder with each beat.  A

band had tightened over her skull, and all the crowd noises and the dirge seemed to go into a tunnel.  She thought

surely she was just going to collapse right here, never to rise again, and that was just fine.  Let Anora take what

she wanted from that.

"KAI!!!" Alistair's voice shouted in her ear, snapping her head back and bringing her back to herself. She felt

Fergus's hands tighten on her shoulders, and Zev's hand was squeezing her right hand. Someone was holding her

left.  It was Teagan.  When did that happen?  What had transpired felt like an eternity, but from the position of

the servants no more than a few seconds had passed.

And then they placed him on the wood set there.  Kai could have wept with relief just to see that he was indeed in

his Dead Legion Armor and not some golden shell he had never worn.  His body wasn’t a substitute for Cailan, whom

the people of Ferelden had not been able to send off.  Kai realized that was exactly what Anora had planned.  She

would give them Alistair as Cailan, and they would forget the royal bastard as if he had never existed.
A look passed across Anora's face so quickly it would be missed by those not watching her closely.  But Kai caught

it.  Anora was furious, her plans had once again been thwarted.  Kai was shaking with relief, but she locked her

knees down.  And when Anora's gaze passed over her, she allowed her lips the barest of smiles.

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 15 mai 2010 - 11:08 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 8



  Anora's eyes shot daggers at Kai.  But they were  quickly shuttered again.  My, my but the little viper does

learn fast Kai thought.  Kai stood sweating in her light tunic and leggings, this many bodies pressed in together

made things very hot indeed.  Only Zev did not seem to be overly warm, in fact for the first time since Kai had met

him he actually seemed comfortable.  Then again, Antiva is a warmer clime then Ferelden,  poor Zev.  His blood

never had thickened up like hers to withstand the balmy Ferelden weather.

  Kai had to stifle a giggle, which she was very afraid would turn into laughter.  What was wrong with her?  Her

emotions seemed to be running amok.  First she is going to collapse and now she was trying not to laugh

hysterically.   Andraste's holy knickers, she must be going mad.  But could you go mad if you knew enough to ask if

you were going mad?  Kai had to stifle another giggle that threatened to find its way past her lips again.

  “Ah, Anora is giving that speech full of manure, just like we thought little sister.” Came Fergus' voice as he

whispered in her ear.  Fergus' comments weren't helping her state of mind.  She felt like someone who has dodged

certain death and finds themselves disbelieving and giddy to have done so.

  A flash of insight hit Kai like an arrow hitting a target.   Zev had been gone all morning.  He wouldn't have had

anything to do with thwarting Anora's little plot to dress Alistair as Cailan would he?  Kai made a mental note to

ask him later.  Now, was neither the time or place, as Anora or one of her supporters might over hear.  Kai

preferred to keep Zev a secret weapon. Assassins worked best if people didn't see them coming, or at least she

assumed that was the case, they hadn't had a need for a lot of secrecy in the Deep Roads.  And in Antiva, The Crows

were the best kept secret everybody knew about.

   Finally, thank the Maker, Anora's lengthy speech was over and it was time for those who wanted to see the body

and pay their respects to do so.  'Everyone,' to Anora, meant only those closest to Alistair, since she wanted to

speed things up and get back to Ferelden to get her crown.  It would have been impolitic to set the body ablaze

without giving those who were considered his family time though.  Anora was greedy to rule,  but not stupid. 

  Anora had cut off any possible anger by the people, simply telling them that the body wouldn't last much longer,

which was a lie.  And that it was because he had to be laid to rest at Highever, which was Kai's fault, they

couldn't allow the usual parade for so distinguished a personage. 

Before Anora could do the honors, and despite being closest to the bier, Kai stepped in front of the crowd 

effectively cutting Anora off.   Anora would not be the first to touch him, to say good bye.  So Kai had forced

herself forward without even realizing she had done so.  Anora shot more daggers at her, and again Kai smiled so

only the little viper could see it.  Two could play this game.

She walked up and saw he looked like he did when he was sleeping. How many times had she looked at that face while

he slept?  “You know that is kind of creepy right?  To watch while someone sleeps?”  His voice sounded in her ear

with mirth.

  “Oh, yeah, like I never caught you doing that to me, especially the first time we-”

  Kai  got interrupted in her own head.  “Licked a lamppost in Winter?”  Alistair's voice sounded with with

familiar humor at the old joke they shared.

“Oh how I wish I knew what to make of this internal exchange.  I don't know if I miss it more when it isn't there

or if it kills me more on the inside when I do.”  The voice, his voice, was silent on this.

  They had left his helmet off, and to the side as was the sword, Starfang, that she had had made for him from a

meteorite she had found.  She found herself leaning forward and kissing his forehead, and his lips.  They were cool

but not cold like she expected.  It was like a building and no one was there.  Kai could hear Anora impatiently

tapping her foot into the dirt wanting her to hurry up.  Kai reached up, and untied the rose he had given her.  She

placed it between his armor covered hands.  “Zev was right, I needed to do this.”  She whispered.  And then she was

stepping back into the crowd.  She couldn't bear to look at their faces as they had watched her exchange. 

  It did surprise her to see Zev go next, but she gave it a passing curiosity as her thoughts were turned inward,

on keeping control, presenting a neutral mask.  She was determined to give Anora no quarter and no satisfaction.  

She had no idea what Zev said, he only came back and took her hand in his again. 

  Eamon, Teagan, all of their party took their turns.  Wynne strode up from the back of the crowd, brushed her hand

across his forehead like a mother would a feverish child and then strode back the way she had come.  Even Isolde

went forward on her own and bent down to say something, which surprised Kai.. Kai even caught a glimpse of a little

white mutt with yellow eyes.  To anyone else it would have been just a stray, curious at what the humans were

doing, maybe hoping for food.  Kai knew in her bones it was Morrigain.  But she lost sight of the little dog and

she was not in a position to chase Morrigan down had Morrigan been of a mind to let her.

  Then it was Anora's turn, last but not least Kai thought.  Boy she must be getting pissed, her plans had not gone

the way she wanted them to, of that Kai was sure.  Kai found she was having almost as much fun thwarting Anora at

every turn as she had Howe and Loghain.  “Nothing like making someone powerful soil their drawers to get you going,

eh my love?”  Alistair's voice had laughter in it, making her want to laugh herself.

  Really Kai, you need to get a hold of yourself!  Maker's Breath girl!  You smack Lady Isolde around, you taunt

the soon to be Queen of Ferelden, on her second go around.  What you miss danger and putting your life on the line

so much this is what you do?  She felt another hand grab her free left hand and squeeze, effectively breaking off

her own chastising internal monologue.  Teagan looked at her with a reassuring smile briefly before turning back to

what was going on. 

  A lit torch was being handed to Anora, to light the bier.  Instead of setting the wood under Alistair's body

ablaze, she walked across the crowd and handed it to Kai.

  Ah, little viper! Anora no doubt meant it as a slight. Hand the torch to his lover, the woman who had bedded him

without a wedding ring. In the Chantry's eyes a sinner. The woman who made him king and then let him die. The other

Gray Warden, the other 'Hero of Ferelden.'   Yes, Anora, very clever, and oh so transparent.  You might just have

stepped over a line you shouldn't have crossed and allowed your inner **** out for all of Ferelden to see.  Kai

simply let that small smile play along her lips and gave Anora her sardonic raised eyebrow meant for Anora's eyes

only.  Where everyone else could see it, Kai gave a slight bow.  And Kai could hear the gasps at Anora's little

social slip start in the crowd, along with some hushed whispers.  Anora's eyes got wide for a moment and then

glistened with hatred.  As she walked by Anora she couldn't resist.  “Oops.” 

Kai stepped behind the bier, facing the crowd.  “Today, we honor the last of the Theirin line.  Maric's son, the

man who saved us all from the Blight.  He proved his bloodline over and over, with his humor, his bravery,  his

strength, and his unholy love of fine cheeses!”  Kai's finally allowed her eyes to shed the tears she had been

holding back, while she and the gathered crowd laughed at her joke.  His love of cheese did seem to come from

Maric, as they both had an addiction to the foodstuff, and the nobles who knew Maric responded with  a great cheer.

  Kai looked at Anora who could no longer keep her composure, and her hatred showed plainly  and openly for all who

may have missed it earlier. Kai smiled wider and raised  the torch high and brought it down

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 13 mars 2010 - 09:27 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 9

Kai stood with her extended family and watched the flames lick at the bier, sending greasy black smoke into a

beautiful blue sky.  Fergus wrapped his arms around her waist, Zev took her hand once again, and Teagan put her

other hand in the crook of his elbow.  They all seemed to press closer in comfort while the crowd behind them

seemed to be dispersing.  "Anora!" Kai called out as Anora turned to leave.  "A word if you would."
"What are you up to, little sister?" Fergus whispered.
"Playing my hand at 'Wicked Grace,' dear brother," Kai whispered back.  Anora reluctantly turned and came towards

Kai.  Her face was schooled and neutral.  Kai made her own features mirror Anora's. "Anora, who will be gathering

Alistair's ashes?"
"I have some of my people set for that task.  They will remain here and gather them while I...we head to Denerim." 

Anora looked Kai with a slight eyebrow tilt.
"No.  I will gather the ashes and gather his armor."  Kai merely continued to look at Anora while carefully keeping

her face a mask.
Anora's eyebrows shot up then her eyes narrowed in anger.  "But I wish to travel to Denerim today!" Anora's voice

was becoming a hiss.
"Careful, Anora, or people might start thinking you don't love Ferelden and love only power," Kai continued to keep

her own voice conversational.  "I will not leave something as important as Alistair's remains to anyone but me. 

You are free to travel to Denerim without me, simply make an excuse to the people who are waiting there to see the

'Hero of Ferelden.'  I am sure they will understand whatever excuse you come up with, no?" Kai cocked her own

eyebrow and tilted her head toward Anora.  "Ah, I see that even you think the people would not buy any story you

might tell.  They will want to see me.  Well then, it seems we won't be leaving until the ashes have cooled, and we

have them and his armor safely sorted away."  Kai merely shrugged.  "I will send word when it is done."  Kai waved

a hand to let Anora know she was done talking.
Anora's face became a mask of fury, and she drew close enough that Kai could smell her scent, soft flowers and

lavender.  "I am queen, how dare you treat me this way!"
"You are not queen yet, Anora, and I know how clever you think you are."  Kai continued to let a small smile play

along her lips as she said a couple of names, "Arl Howe?  Ser Cauthrien?"  Kai let out a little chuckle as Anora's

eyes got wide.  "Oh yes, Anora, and if I could figure that out, I wonder what other dirty little secrets you've

been hiding I might be able to find?  Or what other plots I can uncover. Like the one where you dress Alistair as

Cailan, maybe?" Kai shrugged at her again.  "You want power, that is true, but I know what you really want more

than that, Anora."
Kai watched as Anora huffed, waved her arm dismissively, turned and took a few steps to leave. "You know nothing of

what I really want."
"I know you want the love of the Ferelden people.  Daddy wasn't around you and your mother much, I understand.  He

was busy helping Maric in Denerim, the country needed him.  Or so he said, but it seems he was running away from

his pretty young wife and pretty young daughter.  You didn't get enough of Daddy's love, so you need something to

fill that hole."  Kai watched as Anora spun back and  pushed her face close to Kai's again, snarling like a rabid

dog.  
"That isn't true!  You take that back!"  Kai kept her face impassive and stared Anora down.  It was Anora, like

Lady Isolde earlier, who looked away.
"You want their love.  If you harm anyone I care about, I will personally make sure that you never get that love no

matter what it takes.  As the 'Hero of Ferelden,' I have that power.  You would do well to remember that, Anora. 

We will wait until I have gotten the ashes.  It should be done by tonight, and we can leave in the morning.  That

isn't so long to wait now is it?"  Kai’s face remained neutral, but the adrenaline was starting to wane and her

legs were getting shaky again.
Luckily for Kai, Anora had apparently had enough.  She simply nodded and marched away from Kai in great strides,

her fists clenched at her sides.  She did turn when she was a few steps out.  "You think you know everything, but

there are some things even you haven't figured out, Warden."  And with that Anora stalked off.
"Well, that was exhilarating," Teagan laughed.
Eamon looked at Kai.  "She reminds me of Loghain more and more."
"That last line was cryptic, I wonder what the little viper meant?  You are playing a dangerous game indeed, little

sister, you need to be extra careful."  Fergus had turned her around and hugged her.
"Don't worry brother, Mother and Father taught us well the game of politics, remember?  And I have a few things I

learned while fighting the Blight that they didn't teach me.  Plus, I have the best and most talented friends to

help me."  She hugged him back hard.
"True, my dear Gray Warden," came Zev's voice behind her.  Kai turned to see the assassin putting a small, very

sharp dagger back in a hidden sheath in his clothing.  A dagger that, Kai had reason to know, was meant for close

in work and coated in a very nasty poison.  Kai could only burst out laughing.
"You really know how to win friends and influence people, Warden."  Kai almost fell over when Oghren smacked her on

the back.
"Thanks Oghren, I think."  Kai put a hand on the dwarf's shoulder to steady herself.
"Well, if we are going to stay here watching the little pike twirler burn, we will need provisions.  Hey Fergus,

you wouldn't have anymore ale around would ya?"  Oghren now clapped Fergus on the back almost toppling him

forwards.
"Well, my friend, let’s go see what we can find."  He winked at Oghren and turned briefly to Kai.  "You will be all

right here?"
"Rest assured she will be fine.  My dear Gray Warden is in good hands," Zev nodded at Fergus.  "But I for one, do

not relish sitting on the cold ground, so if someone might bring some chairs for us to sit on?"
"I suppose that the painted elf means me as the 'someone' he is referring to," Shale sighed.  "Of course it does. 

It was not enough I carried tents and supplies all over Thedas, now it wants me to cart chairs.  I should squish

its head like a lemon."  But Shale turned back toward Highever with Fergus and Oghren.
"I am going to go get Schmooples and food and my lute! Wait for me!" Leliana babbled as she jogged towards the

group.
Isolde had left when the majority of the crowd did, which left Kai standing with Sten, Teagan, Eamon, and Zev.  No

one seemed inclined towards conversation.  "Please be careful, my love – very, very careful," came Alistair's voice

her ear.  Kai just looked at the clouds floating so peacefully in the blue sky.
Sten seemed to be looking towards the receding backs of their friends and started to walk to catch up. "Sten, where

are you going?" Kai asked, teasing the Qunari.  She knew full well he was off to get more cookies, and she smiled

at his retreating back.

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 16 mai 2010 - 01:42 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 10

Kai groaned as the carriage they were riding in hit yet another pot hole that sent everything and everyone inside

it shooting about a foot into the air before landing hard on the padded benches.  The jolt caused everyone's jaws

to clack together and their spines to compress with the sudden stop.  Kai wondered if she would be a foot shorter

by the time they got to Denerim.  They were traveling in what amounted to covered wooden boxes with the merest

hints of slitted windows at the top which let in the barest hint of light and air and could be closed quickly in

case of attack or used as archer's slots to shoot from.
The lamps inside them had the same runes that the mages at the Circle used.  These lanterns wouldn't spill oil and

set people alight if the carriage should overturn, and they allowed enough light that one could read or play chess

with pieces that had pegs in the bottoms to fit the holes in the board so they stayed in place.  Or mostly stayed

in place.  Some of the potholes must have been the size of cows.
Kai almost wished she were back in the field watching Alistair's remains finish burning.  They had had another

party of sorts – a wake, a little more sober and at times sadder than the one they had in her room the night

before.  It was so hard to take the armor and sword still whole and warm from the flames and put them into a

chest.  And scooping up Alistair’s ashes had been another extremely difficult task.
Kai fingered the small glass vial around her neck which held some of those ashes.  Her hand went flying as her arms

flew up reflexively to catch the wall when they hit another pothole.  "Nug humper!" Kai growled.
"You didn't complain this much the last time we were on the road, Warden," Oghren grinned at her.
"Yes, well being comatose really helped."  She couldn't help but wink and smile back.  Leli laughed and then

continued sniffing the bundle of herbs she had the foresight to bring.  She had given each party member a bundle

tied in ribbons.  They made the air in the carriage a little sweeter when you rubbed them to release the aromatic

oils.  Oghren with his usual uncouth manner had asked if he was supposed to wipe his arse with the twigs in lieu of

leaves.  Leli had merely smacked him and taken them back before walking off with her nose in the air.  Kai had no

idea what Sten and Shale had said to the proffered gift, especially since Shale had no sense of smell that Kai knew

of.
They were all taking turns riding in the carriage or on horseback around the carriage with the armored retinues

that Anora and all the nobles had.  Any highwaymen or bandits who would try and rob this group of travelers would

do so at their peril.
Only Sten and Shale did not ever ride in the carriage or on horseback.  No horse could hold either of them, and

Sten found the carriage claustrophobic, with good reason.  With him in the carriage the space became considerably

smaller.  Shale the golem didn't care about the elements.  After thirty years stuck in a village square being a

statue, as long as she was moving Shale couldn't care less about the weather.
Oghren was the only one who rode in the carriage almost full-time since his horsemanship consisted of his staying

on a horse for about four to six seconds, give or take, before he invariably slid off one side or the other.  Even

when they had gotten a child's saddle (which he had found demeaning) so he could reach the stirrups, he still

couldn’t stay on a horse.
The carriage's closed in space was not conducive to keeping friendships for long if one didn't get out into fresh

air.  Even without the Horde having destroyed large swaths of the countryside on its way to Denerim during the

Blight, there was only the occasional inn along the way in this section of Ferelden. This area consisted of mostly

farm holds, so inns and baths were hard to come by.
It reminded Kai of the not-so good old days when they were on the road during the Blight.  But back then, they

weren't stuck indoors with one another and could walk a ways apart if they were a little pungent.  "You mean like

Wynne accused me and the dog of being?" Alistair's voice sounded in her ear again feigning hurt.  Kai smiled at the

thought.
It also didn't help that rain had been following them ever since Alistair's funeral, and the roads were nothing

more than streams with mud that sucked at the horses’ hooves and made the wagon wheels slide precariously down

slopes.  That is if the wheels didn't get stuck all together, requiring everyone to get out and push.  One good

thing about the rain, it was almost like having a bath so body odor wasn't as bad as it could have been.  The

exceptions to that rule were Oghren and Argus where the wet seemed to amplify, rather than dampen, their aromas.
Kai had always liked the rain and had a tendency to walk in it as if it was a sunny day.  It didn't bother her to

be soaked through, but poor Zev was just miserable.  Speaking of Zev, it seemed time to switch places with him and

take a ride in the rain.  Kai pushed open the door in the back of the carriage and looked out to find Fergus,

Teagan, and Zev riding their Ceffyls with Argus trotting next to Fergus.  They rode between their wagon and Eamon's

which was following behind them.
Ceffyls, like everything else in Ferelden, were built for survival and independence.  Orlesians considered them

excessively ugly in comparison to their own Chevals.  Ceffyls sported huge thick heads with sharp flat teeth for

cutting off short and sparse grasses, twigs on trees, and bark, meaning they were able to live off of plant

material that would stop up the guts of their pretty Orlesian counterparts.  They could and did live on very little

water, able to get what they needed from dew and rainfall or snow, if needs be.  And like Mabari, Ceffyls were

smart enough for independent reasoning and problem solving, which included scraping snow away in Winter to get to

grass underneath.  A Cheval, while pretty, would stand in snow and starve before it would think to scrape the snow

to look underneath.  Ceffyls were stocky and muscular and, if they thought you had insulted them, very, very mean.
During the Orlesian occupation, Meghren had ordered the slaughter of the breed as Fereldans used them as battle

horses.  It was just another means of trying to keep the Fereldans in line.  The breed had almost died out, but

luckily two herds had been found roaming around the countryside after the occupation, and a re-breeding program was

under way.  It was a slow process, as they had so few numbers to work with and they had to be careful of birth

defects and physical defects that could show up down the line.  But so far, they were making great progress.
Ceffyls never pulled wagons; it would be boring for them, and a bored Ceffyl was nasty and hard to control.  In

perhaps a turn of fortune, Chevals left behind after the occupation were being bred with some of the genetically

weaker Ceffyls creating a sturdy hybrid capable of doing more menial labor.  It smartened up the Cheval and dumbed

down the Ceffyl.  The hybrids were horses less likely to bolt in fear and take your carriage racing off.  Luckily

for Anora, Highever was one of the places breeding both full blooded and hybrid Ceffyls, so they had been able to

provide additional mounts for the journey back to Denerim.
Zev as well as the others had a routine which did not require the wagons to slow.  One simply guided  one’s Ceffyl

up to the wagon door, and the horse would side canter allowing the one rider to jump off into the wagon and the new

rider to take the reins.  Zev looked up from under the hood of his oil skin raincoat to see Kai waiting.  Zev's

Ceffyl was a dappled gray creature with a snow white mane and tail when dry, who was now dark gray and cream as the

rain slicked her coat.  He guided Rhia into the side canter and scooted back so Kai could jump on and grab the

reins.  She was surprised when he didn't jump in the wagon, but merely closed the door and slid his arms around her

waist.  Kai guided Rhia back into formation next to Teagan.  Not that Rhia really needed guiding; being as smart as

a Mabari meant the Ceffyl pretty much guided herself.
"Nice day for a ride is it not, dear lady?" Teagan grinned at her, the rain slicking his honey brown hair down and

darkening it to a muddy brown.  Fergus, too, grinned at her over the head of his Ceffyl.  Like her and Teagan,

Fergus didn't mind the rain.
"Ugh, you Fereldans are so strange; you act as if there is no water falling from the sky." Kai felt Zev speaking

into her back.
"It rains too much here to let a little water become an issue, Zev.  Why didn't you go into the wagon and dry off?"

Kai asked reasonably and tried not to smile at the elf's obvious misery.
"Maybe because I prefer to have my arms wrapped around a beautiful woman rather than sitting in an enclosed space

with a dwarf who smells like a cross between a tavern and a privy?"
Kai laughed and playfully slapped the hand that had crept up her front to skim the edges of her breastplate.  He

had made his reach obvious so she knew he was joking.  It didn't mean her skin didn't tingle where he touched her. 

Damn!  She missed intimacy with another warm body, Alistair's body. Maker, besides missing his smile and jokes, she

had to miss their lovemaking too?  Life was very cruel indeed.
"And a cruel thing you would have done to me had it been the other way around.  Everyone knows it is much worse for

men then women," came his cheeky response.
"Hah, 'everyone' knows no such thing," she answered back.
She tilted her head to better hear Zev when she felt him talking into her back again.  "Or maybe it was because I

wanted to talk to you.  There are some things we should discuss before we reach Denerim. Especially if you are

going to keep angering our soon to be queen, no?"
"Hmm, I just have a bad feeling about her being queen.  And it has nothing to do with her not being of royal

blood," Kai began.
"Just about her being a royal ****?" Zev jested back, his laugh ringing out amongst the raindrops.  Kai, Teagan

and Fergus let their own laughter join his.
Kai sobered almost immediately.  "Yes, that would be it.  I would almost rather saw my tongue in half then say it,

but I wonder if she won't be worse than Loghain."
"No doubt, dear lady.  You echo what Eamon, Fergus, and myself have all been worrying over as well." Teagan smiled

at her.
"She may not be, she may turn out to be a good queen," Kai retorted, but she didn't believe it.  "Great, we need to

rebuild Ferelden, rebuild the Wardens, fight off the rogue darkspawn bands that are going to keep popping up, and

try to keep an eye on Anora?  Yes, nothing to it!" Kai let out a bark of cynical laughter.  "Do we know who she is

going to take as her advisor?  I am guessing not Eamon, since he wanted Alistair on the throne."
"Anora plans to advise Anora.  Word is that she is confident in her ability to rule all by herself."  Teagan looked

at Kai.
"Sounds like a dictatorship to me.  Is there really no one else we could get the people behind who would be

better?  Are you sure Cailan had no royal indiscretions running around with his blonde hair or blue eyes or the

Theirin nose?" Kai asked hopefully.  "Preferably one that looks just like Cailan or Maric?" Kai used the tone of a

child saying 'pretty please' for a sweet.
Teagan laughed at her obvious attempt at lightheartedness for a very serious situation.  "None that we know of.  Of

course we haven't had a lot of time to look, either, with the Blight and all.  We might be able to start looking a

lot more earnestly, now.  Since the letters you found when you returned to Ostagar implied Cailan was aware that

Anora was the problem not he, despite his anger at Eamon’s suggesting it was, we can only hope that maybe there

will be one somewhere.  It isn't a lot to pin hope on," Teagan replied.
"Yes, but it seems that it is the best have at the moment."  Kai looked at Teagan and Fergus.
"I would still like to know what she meant by 'You still haven't figured out everything, Warden,'" came Alistair's

voice, using flippancy to draw attention to a serious question as he did when he was alive.
"I would like to know what she meant when she told me I haven't figured out everything yet.  You don't suppose she

meant that there is a child with Theirin blood out there do you?"  Kai looked at her riding companions.
"Oh good, take credit for my question," Alistair said in her ear, feigning being insulted.
"Hush you," she retorted with a mental smile.  It was getting surprisingly easier to talk to what, herself? She

still wasn't sure.
"Maybe, we can only hope."  Teagan smiled back at her, but she could see the worry in his eyes at Anora's cryptic

statement.
It was then that she felt Zev tug on her arm and point.  They had come to a rise in the road, and Denerim was

straight ahead.

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 16 mai 2010 - 01:36 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 11


Kai was trying hard not to fidget as she stood with her arms straight out from
her body while a servant fitted her dress for the coronation ceremony this afternoon. 
They had made it to Denerim in the pouring rain and been unpacked and put in a wing of
the castle as far away from Anora as she could manage.  All the rain that had followed them
from Highever had blown off into the Waking  Sea, and the sun was shining hot, drying out
puddles as if the skies had never been anything but blue and bright.

"Please stand up straight, my lady!" came the voice of the exasperated seamstress who
was directing the servants pinning the nightmare they were fitting her into. In fact Kai wished
this were a nightmare, and she could wake up.  She was hot, sweating, uncomfortable and
very bored.  She kept trying to ignore what was  going on by doing some mental exercises
that Sten had taught her, the ones he had used when he was locked in the cage in Lothering. 
One of them was a sort of 'I Spy' game.  There were a lot of things in the room that started with the
letter 'C.'

"Nug Humper!" Kai yelped when one of the pins scraped the skin along her ribs.
The seamstress looked scandalized.  Her assistants just hid their mouths behind
their hands and tried not to laugh.  Leli who was sitting on a chair nearby with a pair of
dainty shoes to go with the monstrosity they were currently adjusting to fit Kai, giggled at her.
"I am so sorry, my lady!" a plain looking young woman cried, her eyes wide. She was a new
girl who had been brought in when one of the other assistants had gotten ill suddenly.  Kai was
surprised they didn't rotate servants more, as this dress thing was taking hours.

"Don't worry about it," Kai shifted from foot to foot.  "I have had worse."  Why was it she thought,
that small shallow cuts often stung so badly?

"If her ladyship would just stand still, I am sure we could get this done in less time and
with less bleeding," the seamstress said with a wry twist of her lips and a pointed look at Kai.

"Obnoxious old bat," Kai murmured under her breath, which caused the elven servant on her
other side to giggle into her hand.

"All right, let’s have a look at you."  The 'obnoxious old bat' pulled Kai off the stool she had been
standing on and pushed her in front of a full length mirror.

Maker, I look like a meringue!  The bodice was tight pushing her, well her assets, almost up
under her chin.  Then it all seemed to explode in layers of silk and ribbons.  She looked as if her
legs had been stuck in a tiered and iced cake.  Ugh, she huffed in mental disgust, this is ridiculous. 
Alistair's voice laughing in her ear, "'The Hero of Ferelden' dressed like this?  The darkspawn would
have been able to kill you instantly in that get up, if they didn't fall down laughing first.”

"And now finally we can get to your hair."  The seamstress was speaking again.  The way she
said “hair” you would think a dead animal was on Kai's head, not sleek black locks.  "If she doesn't
like my hair now, she would have really loved it when it had darkspawn blood in it," Kai grumbled under
her breath.

No, I cannot do this, she thought. I am not going to the coronation dressed like a doll. Kai started
reaching for the buttons running down her back.  "Nope, sorry, I am not going to the coronation in this
dress.  I can't and won't do it!"  Alistair's voice just laughed inside her ear as if he was rolling around
unable to control himself. “Glad you find this so funny,” she thought into her own head. "You're not helping!" 
Which only made his voice laugh harder.

What ensued next, she would later be told by Leli from an outside observer's point of view,
was a comedy fit for any stage in Thedas.  The seamstress grew red in the face and sputtered
as she followed Kai around the room while Kai kept trying to reach the long line of buttons at the
back of the dress while arguing with the seamstress.  Their arguing and bickering back and forth
while they circled the room had caused the servants to simply stand against the wall, covering their
mouths and giggling.  Leli too was giggling and of no help at all.

Finally, it was Zev who had come to her rescue by pulling a dagger and running the blade down
the buttons of the dress thereby releasing Kai from her silken prison.  When had he snuck in? Kai
wondered.

As each button came off with a popping sound, the seamstress's face had gotten redder
and redder until Kai thought the woman was going to have aneurysm and her head would simply
pop like a cork.  If it pops like a cork, Shale will be sorry she missed it, Kai giggled to herself. 
The seamstress had glared at Zev in the same way that one would look at something nasty one
had gotten on one’s shoe after stepping in it. Then, she had simply waved her hands to the two
servants and left the room sputtering something about giving up.  Kai stepped out of
the piles of silk and toile as they puddled around her feet.  She looked at Zev, commenting,
"You have had a lot of practice at that, haven't you?."

"Si," came Zev's response, as he leaned on the bedpost with his ankles crossed and a catlike
smile on his face.  He began cleaning under his fingernails with the point of the dagger he had
used to rescue her.

Kai laughed.  She was still in her small clothes, and she couldn't very well go to the coronation
in those.  With a sudden insight, she knew what would be appropriate.  She walked over to the
chest which held the armor she had worn to Fort Drakon.  She had forgotten about it and found it
again before they left Highever.  It hadn't been cleaned or repaired.  It still had every sword cut, arrow
hole, scratch and burn. And it was still stained with darkspawn blood, her blood, the archdemon's blood,
Alistair's blood.... Kai felt the room tilt, and her vision got narrow.  She thought she might fall over. 
Andraste's flaming sword, it had gotten even hotter in here.  Sweat was beading up along her skin.

Zev had crossed the room to steady her, thank the Maker for his quick reflexes.  Wouldn't it be
dandy to have a broken nose and two black eyes for the coronation?  Kai felt really lightheaded,
and it took a moment to focus on the fact that Zev was speaking to her.  Was he asking her if she
was all right?  Her hearing came back into focus.  Kai thought even Leliana looked concerned. 
Kai shook her head, "No, I'm fine, really.  Just a little warm in here.  That stupid dress and standing
for hours.  What a waste."  Kai smiled at them. "Help me buckle on my armor, please?"  Kai threw on
a simple cotton shirt, wincing as it caught at the scratch on her side as she started to put on the armor.
Leli and Zev helped her get all strapped in.

"I like it, my dear Gray Warden.  You wear the armor that will remind people why you are 'The Hero
of Ferelden,' and you rub Anora's nose in it as well. I follow your thinking, my friend." He laughed,
and Kai smiled at him.

"I thought it might make a point, besides it is better than that awful waste of cloth they wanted
me in," Kai snorted.

"Aw, I thought you looked beautiful, and now you don't even get to wear the pretty
shoes," Leli pouted.

"You wear them, Leli, and enjoy."  Kai waved a hand at the offensive
footwear.

"Zev, did you find Wynne?  Did you give her my message?" Kai asked as she sat on the
bed and buckled on her boots.  Once they had reached Denerim, Kai had written Wynne a note.
When she saw her at the funeral, Kai knew that she had not only forgiven Wynne, but that it was
really she herself who needed to ask for Wynne's forgiveness.  She had lost Alistair and Morrigan;
she would not lose another of her group if she could help it, especially not to her own pride. 

"I did, and she received it.  She read it and agreed to meet with you."  Kai felt Zev's warm hand on
her shoulder. "I am glad you are making amends."  Kai smiled up at him.

"Well, I am going to try; she will have to decide if I deserve her forgiveness.  I hope I do."  Kai looked
down again so Zev wouldn't see the tears in her eyes.

Leliana just stood watching Kai. "I am sure she will, Wynne is a kind and generous person."

Ah, Leli always thinks the best of everyone, Kai thought, even after being betrayed by her
mentor.

"Well, why don't we go find out?"  Kai strapped on her daggers, took Leliana’s and Zev's arms,
and walked out of the bedroom.

"You are a little warm, my dear Gray Warden, are sure you are all right?" Zev asked as he 
brushed a hand over her forehead.

"I am fine Zev, just nerves I think."  She smiled at him to reassure him, but truth be told
she wasn't feeling well at all.  She felt as if she had a fever, and the sweat was making
that scratch burn like it was on fire.  Her head was starting to throb too. 

They made their way to a side room off the Landsmeet hall.  Kai felt her heart start to beat faster,
and her hands were clammy.  When she saw Wynne standing there, her mouth went dry.  She
didn't know what Wynne was going to do.  Slap her?  Kai felt she deserved it. Her knees started to
buckle, but she pushed herself forward.  Wynne's face was impassive when she turned and saw Kai.

"My father always said you should look someone in the eye if you were going to apologize. 
He said it was important for the other person to know you meant it.  He was right."  Kai felt her
eyes begin to tear up. "Oh Wynne, I am so, so sorry!"  And with that, Kai found herself sitting on a
bench next to Wynne hugging her around the waist the way a small child does its mother.

"No, no, child, you have nothing to be sorry for."  Wynne's cool hands stroked her hair and hugged
her close.  Wynne gently removed Kai’s arms from around her waist so she could look Kai in the eye. 
"I am so sorry.  Alistair knew you meant to take the blow yourself.  He asked me to restrain you,
then as King he ordered me to do it.  He said he couldn't bear to lose you."  Kai barked out a laugh
at this, but Wynne continued,  "He said you were the stronger one and you would be all right.  He finally
begged me, Kai."  Wynne openly wept at this point, and her words seemed to be tumbling out like water
over stones.

Kai just held Wynne while they both cried.  Then, she had a thought and grasped Wynne’s
face in her hands, looking her in the eye.  "Wynne, I am talking to your spirit friend in you.  You
keep her alive and healthy as long as you can you hear me?  I need her."  Kai looked into Wynne's
eyes and tried to look through them as if she could see the spirit in there.

Wynn just smiled, hugged her tightly, and kissed her forehead with cool lips.  "You are warm my
dear, are you running a fever?"  Wynne hands started to glow with healing magic, but Kai stopped her.

"I don't think I have a fever; it is just nerves."  Kai smiled at her trying to wipe away the remnants of
tears and her snotty nose.  Wynne produced two handkerchiefs out of her sleeves, one for each of
them. Kai laughed.  "Always prepared, Wynne?  And I thought you weren't the typical old woman." 
She was very happy when Wynne laughed and it sounded genuine.

"Only in having handkerchiefs on hand.  Still no socks with pom poms, sorry."  Wynne smiled at her. 
Besides the handkerchief, Wynne pulled out a little pouch and handed it to Kai.  "Alistair gave this to
me right before...before the gates.  He made me promise to give it to you."  Kai's hands shook as she
opened it and tilted it upside down.  Alistair's mother's pendant, the one she had found at Redcliffe, fell
out onto her open palm.  She remembered the pure joy on his face as she had given it to him.  Her hand
closed over it reflexively.  There was a small piece of paper in the pouch as well, a note in Alistair's hand
writing:

My Beloved,

I love you so much.  More than my duty.  More than Ferelden.  More than my own life.  If you
have my mother's amulet, then my little trick with Wynne worked.

I couldn't let you die.  I couldn't go on in a world without you in it.  You are my compass, my light
in the dark, my strength when I thought all was lost.  You are so much stronger than I am, and you
know it.  You have the others to draw from, but for me, you were, are, the only source I needed or wanted.

I hope you will forgive me too.  I haven't had a very happy life.  But I would do it all again if it meant I
could be with you.  You made up for all the bad things a thousand times over.  Being loved by you has
been my greatest joy, and my greatest treasure.

I love you, always,

Alistair

Kai couldn't stop the sob rising in her throat. "You sodding bastard!"  His voice didn't make a
comment in her ear, probably sensing now was not a good time.  She just cried into the handkerchief
that Wynne had given her.  She felt Wynn's hand stroking her head. Leli had come and hugged her from
behind, and Zev just put a hand on her knee, gently rubbing it with his thumb.  They all sat like that for a
moment, letting her cry.  Then, one of Anora's guards poked his head in from the doorway leading to the  
Landsmeet hall.  "I am sorry to interrupt, but the coronation is about to begin.
If you could all take your places?"  He nodded in particular to Kai.  "Especially you my lady, the
people are very anxious to see you."  And then he closed the door again.

"Kai, we need to talk about something else when the ceremony is over.  I have something
important to tell you, dear. "  Wynne helped her dry her eyes and wiped her face with the other
handkerchief.

"Is it bad or about Alistair?  Because if it is, I think I have reached my quota for
today," Kai tried to joke.

"No, it isn't bad, though it does have to do with Alistair in a way.  But we can talk about it
when we are done with this whole coronation business. It is too important, and you will have
questions.  We need more time than we have now."  Wynn simply brushed a cool hand over her forehead.

"Okay, after this farce is over then," Kai smiled at her.  "I love you, Wynn, thanks."

"I love you too, child."  Wynne smiled back at her.  "And maybe you want to wear that?" She looked
pointedly at the amulet in Kai's palm.

Zev lifted it gently out of her hand and clasped it around her neck.  The metal felt almost icy
on her hot skin.

Kai lifted it and brushed it with her lips.  "Let's go watch a viper get crowned."

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 19 mai 2010 - 01:26 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 12


Kai walked into the Landsmeet Hall, a huge room with a vaulted ceiling and balconies running along either side. 

The steps at the far end led to a dais with the throne on it.  The Revered Mother was standing to one side of the

dais waiting to give her blessing to Anora.  All the nobility were lined up along the sides in the balconies and

under them.
Kai went to join the rest of her friends and Fergus standing on the right of the hall facing the throne.  Her group

was at the front of all the other nobles, just like at Alistair's funeral.  Circles, circles, circles, Kai

thought.  She smiled as she was greeted by Teagan and Eamon when she walked past them to put herself closer to the

aisle.  Oghren clapped her on the back, nearly toppling her again, and grinned like a maniac.  Sten and Shale both

just nodded.  Leli put herself next to Sten, and Wynne stood next to her.  Zev, who had been her shadow lately,

followed her to the aisle and stood slightly behind her and Fergus.  Argus pressed close to her thigh.
Maker, it is hot in here. Kai could feel rivulets of sweat running down her back under her armor and the scratch

seems to be burning and throbbing now with the sweat and her body heat.  She could feel the hair on her neck

getting damp.  She wished for a cool breeze or a bucket of water to dunk her head in.  Then, the large double doors

in the back of the hall opened, and the orchestra started up a regal, strong, warrior’s tune as Anora strode down

the aisle followed by her soldiers.  Kai watched as the pretty little viper walked down the aisle as if she owned

the place.  Which, Kai had to admit to herself, Anora officially did after this little ceremony.
Kai felt her heart start thrumming in her chest, and the rhythm went with the headache that had developed in the

back of her head.  Andraste's holy knickers, it’s just getting hotter in here! Kai thought dizzily.  It must be all

the bodies pressed so closely together in the enclosed space.  It had been hot in the field at the cremation, but

they had been in the open air.  That had to be it, right?  Either that or she was coming down with something.  Kai

had to ignore the urge to fan herself with her hands.
She watched Anora's beautifully clad back as she climbed to the top step of the dais and knelt before the Revered

Mother.  Kai felt her heart fluttering in her chest like a butterfly, and the Revered Mother's voice just became a

buzz, as if a wasp were in the room.  Kai suppressed the urge to laugh.  What was next, her feet would hop like a

rabbit?  She thought she might have a whole damn garden before she was done.  My, her thoughts were turning queerly

today.
Kai's fingers itched and began rubbing the hilts of her daggers.  Alistair should be up there, not that little

viper.  Her own head kept screaming it over and over again, Not her, HIM!  "Are you all right, little sister?"  She

turned to see Fergus looking at her with concern.
"Fine, brother dear, just not used to so many warm bodies in an enclosed space."  Kai smiled, but Fergus didn't

look convinced.  Kai wasn't convinced herself.  She could feel sweat beading up on her cheeks.  She wanted to chalk

it up to emotional distress similar to what she felt at the funeral, but it wasn't the same.  She felt as if flames

were crawling under her skin, and the headache was just a sickening hum in the back of her head.  She looked again

towards the dais still fingering her daggers, thinking now easy it would be to use them on Anora.
"My dear Warden, let me save you from yourself.  When playing with vipers it is best to be subtle," Zev's voice

purred behind her as she felt his quick hands take her daggers from her.  "I think the Revered Mother is about

done, and I will just hold these for you until you get back. No?" Zev's voice was smooth, but she could see the

hidden concern in his pale eyes.
"I will be fine, Zev.  And thanks."  She reached out and touched his arm; he felt cool and she almost wanted to

cuddle up to him just to get relief.  She noticed he looked at her hand as if it were a branding his skin.  But

instead of pulling away, he simply grasped her wrist with the fingers of his other hand and felt her pulse

fluttering under his fingertips.
"Kai..." But whatever else Zev meant to say got interrupted by Anora’s announcing her name and beckoning her to

come forward as the “Hero of Ferelden.”  Kai felt the headache’s humming getting worse, spreading from the back of

her skull up along the top and going now towards her forehead.  The clapping and cheering of the crowds wasn't

helping.  The flames under her skin were burning hotter than ever, and she knew her cheeks were flushed.  The

scratch was burning like acid on her skin, and she wanted nothing more than to peel off her armor and gouge the

sensation out with her fingernails until she hit the bones of her ribs underneath.
She made herself face Anora and took great pleasure in watching the woman's eyes narrow with hatred when she saw

the armor Kai had on.  Kai only smiled and watched as Anora's lips moved, but it was very hard to hear what she was

saying.  Something about Kai being a hero and giving her a boon.  Kai almost laughed in her face.  She was sure

Anora wouldn't have given her the boon except that it would look bad for her not to do so.  She managed to keep

control of herself even though the heat was getting unbearable and the room seemed to be moving back and forth as

if she were on some giant child's swing.
Kai heard her own voice from far away telling Anora she wanted a memorial to all the Gray Wardens built so that

Ferelden would never again forget why they were necessary.  She watched Anora's eyes narrow again, but her voice

was honey sweet in reply, even suggesting that they get scholars to study the darkspawn.  Kai watched Anora's

mouth, the only thing she could seem to focus on at the moment, as Anora told her that the people of Ferelden were

anxious to see their hero and she should tell the guards when she was ready to go outside and greet them.  Then,

Anora giggled and told her not to keep them waiting.  Kai imagined what it would look like if she stuck her daggers

in Anora's chest and watched the blood fountain out of her mouth.  That would stop the giggling really quickly.

Something was definitely not right, she must be sick.  Maybe too much time in the cold rain?  Getting wet didn't

make people sick, she berated herself.  Whatever this was, she was glad Zev had taken her daggers.
Kai realized that Anora was done talking because everyone in the room was cheering her.  Kai managed to get herself

down the stairs from the dais without falling and congratulated herself on a job well done.  How would anyone

believe that she was the “Hero of Ferelden” if she showed the grace of a drunken cow?  Kai wanted to giggle

herself.  She kept hearing a voice way in the back of her head almost crying her name; she thought it was

Alistair's voice, but she couldn't be sure.  It was so hard to hear it over the loud hum of the headache which now

seemed to envelop her whole head.  Even her teeth hurt.  What was wrong with her?  If she was sick, she figured she

better go greet the Ferelden people and then put herself in bed.  So, she made herself keep walking down the aisle

past everyone to the big double doors.
The guard was speaking to her, she saw his lips moving, but it was difficult to hear him because his voice kept

fading in and out.  Ah, he wanted to know if she was ready.  Kai hope she kept her voice normal when she told him

she was.  He didn't seem to think anything was amiss.  The guard opened the doors, and she walked out onto the

stone balcony overlooking the courtyard of the palace.  It was thronged with people.  Kai wanted to laugh

hysterically when it occurred to her that they looked like packed and salted fish in a barrel sent from Gwaren.
Instead, she found herself waving, and the crowd just cheered.  Kai thought out here the heat might abate, being in

fresh air, but the fire under her skin seemed to be getting even hotter, if that was possible.  She felt as if she

were burning from the inside out, and the damn sun was so bright it hurt her eyes.  Kai put a hand over her

forehead to block it out.
She figured she better say something. "People of Ferelden, I stand before you," feeling like a drunken dwarf  her

own mind said, "and you call me the 'Hero of Ferelden.'  But I am not the true hero.  That title belongs to

Alistair Theirin, Maric's son.  Some would call him ‘bastard,’ but he was your savior.  Never let the word

'bastard' be used in connection with his name ever again.  He deserves the honor of being recognized as Maric's

blood.  The blood of Calenhad, the Silver Knight, ran in his veins, and he proved it to you all.  Don't let his

sacrifice go without note.  His remains are at Highever, and you should all remember him on this day.  Let this

day, be 'Alistair's Day' for as long as Ferelden stands.  Say his name now, let it fall from your lips.  The true

'Hero of Ferelden,' and Maric's son, ALISTAIR!" Kai pushed her fist into the air, and a roaring cheer went up from

the crowd.
Pretty good for off the cuff, Kai old girl, she told herself.  Guess some of Mother's training stuck after all. And

that speech is really going to ****** Anora off.  Kai felt laughter burbling up again.  She seemed to be doing a lot

of laughing lately.  She felt as if the sun were burning through her skin from the outside to meet the flames under

her skin on the inside.  She was sweating so much her hair was getting wet.  But she didn't care.  The crowds were

shouting his name.  Chanting it, as it passed from those closest and moving back like wind across a wheat field.  A

chant for her beloved.  She heard them saying his name, but her hearing seemed to be like waves lapping a shore. 

She could hear them chanting “Alistair, Alistair,” but it would recede, then come in loud again.
Kai took her hand down from her forehead, as she was having trouble keeping her balance that way.  The sensation

that the world had turned into a giant swing returned.  No not a swing, like the word was an ocean tide and it kept

coming in and going out again.  Interesting, she thought, until she started to pitch forward.  She felt hands grab

her armor from behind, keeping her from breaking her teeth, her nose and her skull on the stone balcony's floor. 

She supposed she should be grateful, but her head hurt even more, if that was possible.  She thought she heard the

crowd gasp in alarm, but she really couldn't be sure.
She saw Zev's worried face above her own, felt his cool fingers brushing her sweaty hair from her face.   He seemed

to be checking her eyes.  What was that all about?  She wanted to make a joke that he was the savior of damsels

pitching face forward today, but she couldn't get the words out.  Zev was breaking open a little vial and forcing

some kind of bitter, thick liquid into her mouth.
She thought that Wynne was there, and maybe the others too?  But she couldn't really move her head or her eyes, it

hurt too much.  She wanted to close them against the bright sun and sleep, but Zev would slap her cheeks and call

her name.  He was also unbuckling her armor with fevered fingers.  She wanted to make a joke about his taking

advantage of her in public, but it was too much effort, and her tongue felt thick and useless.
She could feel the armor breastplate lifting off her, leaving her in the cotton shirt underneath.  She wanted to

thank him, tell him that it felt much better, but before she could even try he was practically ripping up the shirt

to look at, and touch with his cool fingers, the scratch along her ribs.  "What in the Maker’s name is wrong with

her?"  She heard Fergus's anguished voice as the tide of the world came back in again.  But she didn't hear the

response before it went back out.
She felt cool hands and magic snaking along her skin, particularly around her abdomen.  Ah, Wynne, I am so glad I

got your forgiveness.  Kai smiled to herself.  She really didn't see what the fuss was about.  When the world came

back into focus, she heard Wynne say something about needing to protect them both.  Both of whom? she wondered. 

But the sounds went out on the tide again.
Funny, whatever Zev had put into her mouth seemed to be cool and soothing.  It had tasted awful, but the flames

under her skin seemed to be abating a little, at least around her face.  And the ache in her head was better.  She

still hurt a lot, but it didn’t seem to be building up as it had been.
She had been looking at the sky, so blue with clouds and the occasional bird flying across her field of vision, but

a sparkling light had suddenly appeared.  She kept hearing waves lapping, and the light turned into a lot of little

sparkles, like sunshine on water.  It was like the light hitting the surface of the lake outside Highever where her

family would sometimes go for picnics and to swim in the Summer.  Kai felt herself falling into to that water, and

it was so refreshing and cool, she just let herself dive right into it.

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 17 mai 2010 - 07:16 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 13

  


Kai came up from under
the cool water of the small lake outside of Highever as she had a
thousand times before.  She lay on her back floating in the cool
dark water, watching the clouds scuttle across the sky.  Had she
been dreaming?  She must have been.  What a horrible and
beautifully realistic dream, too.  Ah, but today was a day for
relaxing and taking in the fresh air.  She could smell water and
grass and the wildflowers growing on the bank.

Today must be “Cousland
Camaraderie Day,” as her family had labeled it.  Her family
always took a day once a month where no servants waited on them or
disturbed them.  It was a day off for the servants as well as
the family.  The family didn't attend to castle business or
politics unless it was an emergency, they just spent it with each
other.  It was her favorite day of any month, even more than her
birthday.

Kai flipped over and
began to tread water, looking at the shore.  There was Highever,
the stone walls shining light gray in the sun.  What a beautiful
sight.  And someone was waving at her to come ashore, her father
probably.  Ah, lunch must be ready.  Kai started to cut
through the water with graceful strokes.  She loved skimming
through the water and took a moment to delight in the sensation. 
Her father often joked that she was part selkie.

She got to shore and
found a cotton towel and her clothes.  She dried off as best she
could and slipped on her tunic, pants, and boots.  Kai knew
where everyone would be – in the garden next to the orchard where
they kept the bees.  Her family would be there with a table
laden with food and blankets to lie on in the grass while Father and
Mother, she and Fergus, and Oriana and Oren would take turns reading
aloud from either a new book Father had gotten for their library or
from an old favorite they all loved hearing again and again.

Kai headed towards her
favorite spot in Highever, winding her way through the orchard of
apple trees.  Their blooms were falling like snow when the
breezes caught the blossoms.  She took a deep breath.  It
was so...perfect.  She wanted to laugh and dance.  She felt
so free, so happy.

She came to the walls of
the garden and the sturdy wooden gate set in it.  She traced her
fingers over the familiar words carved into the gate whose varnish
had darkened to a deep honey brown with age:

"Cha d'dhuin doras
nach d'fhosgail" – no door ever closed but another opened

And without having to
open the door and swing it, she knew the garden side had three words
carved in it:

"gaol, gra, gaire"
- live, love, laugh

Maker, it felt good to
really be home; that dream had seemed so real.  That horrible
dream.  A dream where she let her parents die, she drank the
tainted blood of monsters, let people down, killed other (sometimes
innocent) people.  A dream where she had the fate of Ferelden
hanging on her decisions.

And those monsters had
been horrible creatures.  Kai shuddered.  She had had to
chose between bad decisions or worse ones.  Sometimes, the
decision was between a lot of people getting hurt or only some. 
Kai didn't think she would ever complain to her parents about making
decisions on the running of Highever ever again.  Somehow,
running a castle was easy in comparison.

She had to admit some of
the dream was not so bad.  She had met and befriended
interesting people whom she had loved and who loved her.  She
had loved and been loved by a man, Alistair.  The name seemed to
whisper among the falling blossoms.  Then, it was as if a cloud
came over the sun.  She had watched him die.  Okay,
everything which seemed good in that dream had been tainted like that
blood she drank.  Best to leave that dream far behind.

Today was family day. 
Love and laughter and living, as the door said.  She smiled. 
Kai grabbed the heavy wrought iron handle of the door to the garden
and stepped through, turning to close it behind her.  "I'm
here!  I hope you didn't let Fergus start without me, or he will
eat up all the blackberries before I get any!"  She turned
from closing the door to find him standing there, the bloke from her
dreams,  He was just grinning at her.

Not a dream, real. 
This must be the Fade.  Kai strode forward as the Kai she had
been just a moment ago and the Kai that was made in the heat of
battle collided.  She walked at a fast pace, closing the
distance between her and Alistair.  When she was close enough,
her fist shot out and landed squarely on his jaw.  Part of Kai's
mind registered that she must have caught him by surprise. 
Alistair was a shield warrior, it took a lot to knock him down. 
"Hee-yyy!  That hurts even in the Fade you know." 
He rubbed his jaw where her fist had landed.  Kai could only
stare at him.

She could feel her face
getting hot with fury.  "You sodding, Thunder humping..."
Kai was so mad she was at a loss for words.  "NUG HUMPER!"
she screamed at him.  "How dare you!  Just, how dare
you?"  Kai paced back and forth in front of him, balling
and unballing her fists.  "If you weren't already dead, I
would kill you myself!"

It was then that she
heard other voices.  "Mum, what is a nug humper?"
Oren's sweet voice piped up.

"Ask your Auntie
later, dear," came her sister-in-law, Oriana's, tart but amused
reply.  "I will let her explain that one."

"Brother, you really
know how to pick the feisty ones don't you?  Of course, I knew
how beautiful and strong she was when I met her at the gates of
Ostagar.  You really are lucky."  A voice Kai
registered as Cailan's came from her right.

"Indeed, you can see
why I wanted to recruit her.  Though I don't recall her language
skills being so- diverse at the time," Duncan's deep, beloved,
amused voice rumbled gently from her left.

It was her father's voice
behind her that made her anger drain out.  "There's my
fierce girl."

"Fierce girl,
indeed!  I am proud to say she takes after her mother, except
for the appalling language. Wherever did she learn it?" Eleanore
Cousland's voice, filled with laughter, sounded from behind her next
to her father's voice.  "I dare say I would have done the
same thing to you though, Bryce. Honestly, men can be just like small
boys.  You don't just...surprise a girl like that."

Kai whirled around to see
her parents standing together, looking at her with smiling faces and
eyes glowing with love for her.  "Hello, Pup." 
Her father smiled at her and opened his arms.  She had never
seen such a beautiful sight.  Her heart constricted, and she
just threw herself at them.  She heard herself babbling, saying
their names over and over again, then how much she had missed them
and loved them. Tears ran down her cheeks.  She motioned Oriana
and Oren over, and they all just hugged each other.  Then, Oren
broke in wanting more of the attention that was being given to his
'Auntie' for himself.  Kai just scooped him up and kissed him
until he started to protest and then she hung him upside down and
tickled him until he giggled with delight and turned red in the
face.  "No, Auntie, stop, stop!" he protested, though
he was laughing and obviously wanting more.

"What’s that? 
I can't hear you, someone is laughing too loudly," Kai told him
as she held his legs with one hand and tickled him with the other. 
He squirmed and shrieked in her arms.

Kai had missed them so
much.  She realized she had been so busy saving Ferelden that
she not only didn't have the time to mourn them, but she also never
had the time to miss them properly.  Even Oriana's “proper
behavior as done by Antivan women” comments were something she had
missed.

Kai realized that their
family reunion was being watched with polite interest by the others
in the garden.  Kai put Oren down and turned to Duncan and
Cailan.  What did you say to the young king you were supposed to
save and didn't?

She bowed her head
flushing, "Your majesty, I am so sorry."  But Cailan
merely tilted her chin up to look at him.  "First, I am not
a king here."  He held up a hand to stop her protest. 
"Second, it wasn't your fault.  You take too much on
yourself, dear lady.  I am just sorry I was not able to fulfill
my promise to you."  Cailan brushed her knuckles with his
lips.

She felt tears welling
up, and then she turned to Duncan.  She gave Duncan the same
treatment she had her Father.  She just sort of launched herself
at him.  This man she had only gotten to know for the briefest
of moments.  The man on whose face she had seen such incredible
sadness as they left her parents behind to die.  A great man,
who had believed in her, trusted her to do right by the Gray Wardens
and Ferelden.  A man who had stepped in for her Father, however
briefly.  This man whom she felt as though she had failed. 
The man whose face a demon in the dream side of the Fade had taken,
and she had been forced to kill.  She found herself sobbing into
his shirt front.  Duncan hugged her tightly.  "There,
there, child, all is well.  All is well," he just kept
repeating until her tears had finally stopped.  Maker, she was
tired of crying.  She was doing more crying now than she had in
her entire childhood and in the space of the last month to boot. 
She kissed Duncan on the cheek and smiled when he looked bashful.

Then, she turned back to
him.  She watched Alistair's eyes get wide, and he threw up his
hands and started to back away, but he found himself getting closer
to the garden wall with nowhere to go.  Just where Kai wanted
him.  Silly man, he should employ better tactics than that
against the enemy.  Her mind gave a little giggle at his
expression of wariness.  He looked as if she were some wolf
about to bite him.  Oh, she would bite him, and nibble, and
lick....

Kai jumped him,
literally, wrapping her legs around his waist as she smothered his
mouth with hers. She nipped his bottom lip and smoothed the bite away
with her tongue.  She remembered well the taste of him, the
scent of him.  These familiar things just entwined themselves
around her until she felt the two of them were one person and the
rest of the world didn't exist anymore. She felt his surprise and
wariness quickly overcome as he responded by nibbling her top lip and
running his tongue just inside her mouth only to take it away, daring
her to follow.  Maker, how she had missed this!

It was Oren's childish
voice which brought her back to the fact that they had an audience. 
"Mommy, why did Auntie hit him and then climb him like a tree?"

Kai realized that she
had, indeed, climbed up him.  Her legs wrapped around his waist,
and her hands pulled on the back of his head, crushing his lips on
hers.  Alistair had one hand fisted in her hair and the other on
her...um...hindquarters.  His big hand with its long fingers was
doing enticing things along her inner thigh.  She knew she was
blushing, but she was not about to let go.  From the look on
Alistair's face, he felt the same way.

Oriana's voice came as if
from far away.  "I think it is time we went inside Oren. 
Your Auntie and Alistair have a lot of catching up to do." 
And Kai heard rather than saw them leave the garden.  Duncan and
Cailan both chuckled as they walked the way Oriana and Oren had gone.

She heard her father's
voice say, "I really like your young man, Pup."

Then, she heard her
mother's voice, "Reminds me of us, Bryce," and her soft
laugh as her parents left them alone in the garden.

She looked at Alistair
almost not daring to believe it was him.  She remembered the
last time she had looked at his beloved face and into his dark gray
eyes.  She remembered the day he sacrificed himself and how he
had looked at her.  She remembered the way his face looked as he
lay on the bier at the funeral.  Her eyes began to fill. 
"No, my love, don't."  He took his hand from her hair
to thumb away the tears that had started down her face.

"I really hate you. 
You know that, don't you?"

He just smiled his
lopsided smile.  "Understood."  And then he
kissed her again.  His mouth smothered hers, taking her into
that wet slippery world.  She felt as if the top of her head had
come off and was spinning around.  How did the man do that with
just a kiss?  Granted, she had had only three lovers in her
lifetime, but none had had this affect with just a kiss.

Dizzy, she moaned and
nipped and licked and allowed herself to run her tongue in his mouth
and along his lips.  She felt him laying her backwards...on a
bed?  The garden had disappeared, and they were in a bed in the
middle of a clearing in a forest.  She cocked an eyebrow at
him.  "It 's the Fade; you can go anywhere, visit anyone
and make your own reality.  I wanted privacy and to be outdoors
like the first time we...."

"Licked a lamppost
in Winter?" Kai smiled at him.  "I don't remember our
having a bed the night you asked to jump me."

"I remember my
asking in a very romantic manner for the pleasure of your company in
your tent."

"Oh, you mean
sweating nervously and then telling me your head felt as if it were
going to explode every time you were around me?  Yes, very
romantic."  Kai found herself giggling as he tickled her
ribs in retaliation for her cheek.

Then, he cupped her face
in one of his hands and looked into her eyes before his lips were on
hers again.  He ran the other hand along her belly, leaving a
trail of fire.  No one had ever lit as many fires with just lips
and hands alone as he did.  He sighed her name before his lips
were once again crushed on hers, and then he moved to her jaw and
down her neck.  His hands skimmed the skin of her breasts, his
thumbs teasing and causing intense waves of energy to pulse down her
body until she was arching under him.  He ran his hands along
the inside of her legs, his fingers leaving trails of longing.

She found her own hands
running along his back, feeling the muscles tense under her fingers
when she bit his neck or licked his collarbone or kissed the smooth
muscles of his chest.  Her fingers moved up to knead the muscles
of his shoulders restlessly.  He moaned when she ran a fingertip
up his spine starting at his lower back and sliding up between his
shoulder blades.  It was one of those arousing moves Kai had
learned when they were first discovering each other.  His
response was to torture her by closing his mouth first on one breast
then the other until she thought she her system would just implode. 
Ah, each of them still knew what made the other crazy.  She
smiled to herself.  She had been a little nervous, truth be
told.

She never could figure
out how they got out of their clothes.  The steps between
kissing and naked never seemed to register when they were together. 
She allowed herself to cry out and moan as she hadn't been completely
free to do when they were at camp or when sneaking stolen moments in
each other's rooms at Redcliffe or Arl Eamon's place in Denerim. 
At Redcliffe or Denerim, it had always felt as if they were two
wayward teenagers who might get caught and sent to the Chantry to do
penance.

She felt her system
raging under his hands, her longing cutting through like a blade. 
Sweat had broken out all over her skin, and she could feel herself
flushing.  She wanted him to fill her up, body and soul. She had
been so empty.  She opened for him and then closed on him like a
hot wet fist.  They moved together sweetly, building on each
others' pleasure.

She had always likened it
to climbing a mountain that was spinning madly.  Each step built
up her pleasure until she thought her heart would simply give out as
she gasped out her last ragged breath when she could take no more. 
Her orgasm released like an arrow from a bow and sent her flying. 
She felt his own body shudder as hers arched under his, her body
gripping his and her legs wrapped around him as if to keep him
prisoner.  Their hands were linked together in fists, their lips
together breathing each others' breath as she cried out his name. 
His ragged breathing echoed her own as he buried his face in her hair
and collapsed on top of her.

She always felt as if she
had left the world when they made love.  Now that she was in the
Fade, she really had left the world.  She let a giggle escape
from her lips.  "A laugh is not exactly what a man wants to
hear from his lover."  Alistair unhooked his hands from
hers to frame her face as he looked her in the eyes.  She
mirrored his move.

"It is if that lover
is completely boneless and feels as if her skin is velvet and she has
been dunked in  molten metal."  She looked into his
eyes.  "Oh, how I have missed you."  He smiled
and kissed the end of her nose before rolling to the side and pulling
her to him.  She simply placed her head on his chest and
listened to his heartbeat as it slowly returned to normal.

How familiar this was,
how delicious.  She wanted to purr like a cat.  She felt so
complete, so relaxed. She hadn't realized how tense she had been for
so long.  She supposed that killing had a way of making people
tense.  She suppressed the urge to laugh again.  Her
thoughts seemed ready to fly away as her body had.

Her eyes started to
droop, but popped open in a flash.  "Alistair."

"Hmm?" with the
end of hmm going up in that way he liked to do.  His hands were
gently stroking her arm and her back, whatever skin he could reach
even though his eyes were closed.  It was almost as if he was
afraid she was going to disappear.

She had a brief moment of
amusement since they were both in the Fade.  "I kept
hearing your voice in my head.  Was that really you?" 
Not that she supposed it mattered now, but it could have been she was
quietly going mad after all.

He looked sheepish and
blushed.  "I know I should have probably left you alone so
you could grieve and get on, but I couldn't help it.  I missed
you so, and you were so sad."

She put her hands on his
lips to stop his usual wont to babble.  "I think hearing
you saved me at the funeral."

"Well, I tried to
leave you alone that day.  You seemed so sad, and I thought I
might make it worse.  And then I felt what you felt, your fear
and longing, and you were screaming into your own head.  I was
afraid you were...that you were going to lose yourself and all that
makes you, you, would be lost and I was going to be lost, too. 
I wanted you to come back to me as you, not broken.  I had to
stop it.  I couldn't take it."  He looked at her with
tears in his eyes.

She could see the fear he
felt for her that day.  "I was afraid for me, too. 
You saved me twice."  She leaned in and kissed him
lingeringly, stroking the side of his face with her fingertips.

"I wonder if Fergus
hears Oriana.  I mean, I never discussed it with him or with
anyone else, for that matter.  I figured they'd think I was
going mad.  I did wonder, myself."

"I believe I can answer
that question and many more, Warden," a soft feminine voice
commented.

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 17 mai 2010 - 07:46 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 14


Kai and Alistair jumped guiltily and grasped at the, Maker be blessed, covers.  Kai had a moment to think how funny this moment might be with them both blushing, especially Alistair whose flush seemed to be extending all the way down to his...um...toes.  That is, if it were not for the creepiness of having a hooded female figure standing at the foot of the bed.  The figure merely smiled as if she could read Kai's thoughts.  Kai couldn't really see much of the face except the mouth because the rest was in shadow, so she had no idea if the smile was one of amusement or something else.  "You two might like to get dressed, yes?  And then we can all go back to Highever.  Or at least what your minds created as Highever here."  The figure turned and walked a distance away keeping her back to them.
"Friend of yours?" Kai asked Alistair with a grin as she put on her tunic.
"What? No!" Alistair spluttered.  "Why would you think that?"
He is so cute when he gets flustered and blushes, she thought to herself.  "Because you have been in the Fade longer than I have?" Kai raised an eyebrow at him.  "I thought maybe you picked up a girlfriend while I was stuck in the real world," Kai laughed at him.
"Oh, you are evil, you're a bad person."  He grinned at her.
"Do you hate me?" she asked him coyly as she reached over and kissed him, running her fingers through his hair.
"Yes."  And he nibbled on her earlobe setting off a familiar aching need.
"You had better stop, I don't think our visitor is going to want to wait while we have hot animalistic sex again."
"Oh, ‘animalistic’? What did you have in mind?" he asked cheekily, but he pulled away from her, running his fingertips down the side of her face in that familiar way.
"Shall we go now?"  The cloaked figure gestured sweeping out her arm, but there seemed to be amusement in the woman's voice and body language.  Kai grinned at Alistair and shrugged.  They followed the figured across the forest glade which shimmered and became the great hall at Highever before they hit the tree line.
Apparently, everyone but Oren was sitting and waiting for their arrival.  This conversation was for adults only, it appeared.  They had one other new visitor whom Kai did not recognize at first.  It took a moment.  He looked so familiar, like Alistair and Cailan.  Another brother?  And then it hit her, King Maric.  She had first met him at a tourney held at Highever in his honor when she was a little girl. The man sitting here was the same man who had sat her on his knee and told her stories and fed her cheese and given her his dagger to play with.  He had later given her a portrait and a set of daggers of her own when she was ten.  That was the last she saw of him until now.She went to him and was about to kneel, but he put a hand under her elbow and stopped her.  "Please, dear lady, don't do that.  As Cailan said, none of us have titles here, and you never used to use mine before."  He smiled a familiar lopsided smile, and she realized how much Alistair looked like his father.
"I...."  Maric put a finger on her lips and stopped her.  “Please, no explanations or apologies to me, dear lady.  I have nothing to complain about."  He simply looked at her with the same bright blue eyes Cailan had.  Maker, they all shared so many traits she was going to give herself mental vertigo comparing them.  She gave herself an internal head slap.
Alistair walked up behind her and placed his hands around her waist.  Maric smiled at them both.  "You have grown into a strong, smart, beautiful woman.  My son is very lucky."
Alistair kissed the back of her head, and she could feel him smiling.  "Thank you your...Maric?"  She laughed self consciously.
"Well, that is my name, and you used to use it when you were a little girl."  And he smiled at her again.  The hooded figure had watched all of this quietly, standing near the flames roaring in the fireplace.
The soft voice broke into the exchange.  "I believe I offered you answers, Warden."  She gestured for Kai and Alistair to take a seat.
Kai sat next to Alistair; he took her hand and linked their fingers.  Kai broke in before the cloaked figure could start.  "First of all, who in the Maker's name are you?  I mean, I don't want to be rude, but your showing up, cloaked and offering answers, is really kind of creepy."  Kai just looked pointedly at the figure.  “And your being cloaked and standing in front of the fire so you are just a silhouette is not helping."
"Not to mention maybe watching us in an intimate act of passion," Alistair whispered out of the side of his mouth, causing Kai to grin at him.
Again, Kai thought she caught a smile from the hooded figure, but it was really hard to tell.  "Let us just say I am a messenger for the Maker."
"Really, does he send a 'messenger' to all newly dead people?  Do I get a fruit basket, a welcome-to-being-dead gift?" Kai asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I think she has been around Alistair a little too long," came Duncan's retort.
"Hey, I resemble that remark," Alistair quipped.  "But I certainly didn't get a visit when I showed up here.  I feel insulted."
The hooded figure sighed.  "You did not get a special visit because you were indeed dead.  But, the Warden is not."
Kai felt herself leaping up from the couch as if she had been set on fire.  "Not dead, of course I'm dead.  I am here aren't I?"
"Part of you is here in the Fade, in large part due to your connection to Alistair.  But a part of you is still alive there in Ferelden.  The mage Wynne used her spirit helper, at great risk to herself, to keep you alive."  The hooded figure paced.  "When the Maker makes souls, some souls get split in two.  They are really one, but can inhabit two different bodies.  This doesn't happen very often, but you and Alistair are two such souls.  It is why you can speak to him across the Veil, and he to you.  You are never really separated.  It is why you would have found each other even if your lives had been different and the Blight had not brought you together.  But, only a part of your soul is here.  There is a small spark still keeping your corporeal form alive, aided by Wynne's helper."
The hooded figure took a pitcher and poured water into a silver bowl that had materialized in her hand. She held it out to Kai.  "Take it and I will show you."
Kai took the bowl and sat back down on the couch.  The others in the room all gathered behind her.  The hooded figure brushed her hands over the water, and it began to sound like the tide lapping and to sparkle like sun on the surface of the lake.  "That is what I saw before I ended up here."
"Yes, it was your way of passing through the Veil.  Look."
Kai saw a doll – no it was herself – lying in a bed.  Zev, dear Zev, was sitting in a chair next to her along with Fergus.  Zev had placed a red rose, the rose in her hands, and he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead.
So that was why he went right after her at the funeral.  He saw her put the rose on the bier, and he had taken it back.  She had been so distraught she hadn't even noticed it was missing.  She could hear Zev speaking as if from a long way off.
"Kai, you need to come back.  It is my fault, dear friend; I should have seen the signs of poison sooner.  We need you here.  If you don't come back, Anora wins.”  She watched as Zev clenched his fists and unclenched them.  "I need you here, we all need you here.  Please, come back."
"Please, little sister." Kai watched while Fergus put his hand on her forehead.  It was breaking her heart to heart the fear in their voices.
"They need you, Warden Kaidana Cousland."  The cloaked figure used her full name. "Ferelden needs you once again, or great suffering will befall it."
"Will befall it?  You mean Anora is going to be that bad?" Alistair asked.  The figure nodded an affirmative to Alistair's question.  And then, everyone in the whole room started talking at once.
"No," Kai whispered.  "I don't understand."
The hooded figure effectively cut everyone off mid-sentence.
"I said ‘No.’  I will not go back.  I am through.  You overplayed your hand, spirit.  I did my duty by Ferelden.  I am not going back," Kai said slowly and deliberately so her meaning was not lost.
"Kaidana..." the hooded figure began, but was cut off as Kai threw the bowl from her lap with such  force that it hit the wall and dented, splashing its contents over half the room.  She got up from the couch, shaking.
"I said ‘NO!’  I have had enough of being the Maker's puppet, his toy, his plaything.  He can't even keep his other creations from the Blight without help.  Well, let him find another to clean up his messes.  I am done!"  Kai’s rage and her fear rose up to swallow her.
How could they see her as this savior, this hero?  Didn't they understand?
She thought she was going to choke on it all.  She found everything spilling out of her, all the failures.   Everyone kept on seeing her as this strong, smart leader.  They looked at her as if she knew what she was doing.  Maker, she had been a Gray Warden all of four days before she was running around Ferelden trying to get an army together and avoid Loghain.  She was no leader, it was just a facade. Couldn't they see it?  Kai pleaded with them.  All her decisions just meant death and destruction.  How could they not see it?
Kai felt all the anger, grief and despair that she had kept locked up behind a numb wall, finally burst. Great choking sobs had her bending over on the floor and confessing all of her failures.  Her failure to save Duncan and Cailan because the beacon took so long to get lit.  Killing men in Lothering simply because they were starving and thought the bounty on her head would put food on their tables.  Killing Branka, Oghren's wife, so they could destroy the Anvil of the Void.  Alistair had been there for all of it, but these weren't his decisions.  Her decisions created such death and destruction.  It all rested squarely on her shoulders.  The burden was hers, and hers alone.
The litany of her failures kept tumbling out of her mouth.  She listed them all, not expecting any absolution or forgiveness.  How could there be?  And then she confessed the one that broke her, Alistair’s death.  She had watched him die when she could have used magic to save him.  What had her choices done but bring death and destruction?  So much death caused by her or because of her.  And they wanted her to go back and cause more?  Kai sobbed while they all tried to comfort her.  Alistair in particular tried to hold her but she was inconsolable.
Then, Maric's quiet voice broke through her sobbing, "So many lives rest on all of your decisions, don't they?  To know that not only can just a few people die based on what you decide, but that a lot of people can and probably will?"  Maric bent down and smoothed away her tears with his fingers.  "To become what you hate to save what you love."
Kai just nodded, he understood where the others didn't.  Maric just smiled a sad and knowing smile.
"I was told by Flemeth that was what would happen to me.  She was right.  I think it happens to anyone who is called to, who is born to, do the difficult jobs that no one else can do."  He gently picked her up off the floor.  "I think, dear lady, you are one of those people."
"I see why you are such a well loved king," Kai told him.
"Then it should not be so hard to see why you are so well loved yourself, dear lady.  No one is asking you to be perfect except you.  And believe me, perfection is not possible.  I tried, and it made me miserable, and I failed spectacularly at it."  Kai could see where Alistair got his humor from.  "I would rather have someone like you, who agonizes over the consequences of her decisions, helping the country than someone like Anora, who does not.  Wouldn't you?" Maric smiled at her.
"There is something else you should know Kaidana," the hooded spirit interjected.  They all looked towards their visitor.
"Uh oh, this can't be good," quipped Alistair.
The spirit merely turned an amused look on Alistair and said, "The Theirin line is not dead.  It lives in you, Kaidana."

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 14 juin 2010 - 02:08 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 15


 
"You lie, spirit.  Two Gray Wardens together
can't have children."  Kai just stared at the hooded figure, feeling as
if her stomach had dropped into her feet."It
is difficult for a Gray Warden to produce a child with someone without
tainted blood, and two with tainted blood makes that even harder, ‘tis
true. But it does not mean it is impossible, Kaidana."  The hooded
figure smiled again in amusement.  "You are living proof of that.  Or at
least your body is.""Looks like you are
going to be a father, brother, congratulations."  Cailan clapped
Alistair on the back grinning at his stunned expression."Another grandchild, I am so happy."  Her
mother's voice chimed in."Elle," her
father's nickname for her mother sounded like a warning.  Her father,
like Fergus, was always able to read her so well.Kai felt fear crawling along her skin like baby
spiders, and her hands were making fists so hard the knuckles were
white.  She unclenched her fists and opened her hands, looking at them
as if they didn't belong to her.  She had created bloody little
semicircles where her nails had bitten into her skin, breaking it. 
Another bar in the cage.  She felt the walls closing in on her; she
needed to get out and think.Only Duncan,
Maric, and Alistair had not made a comment so far.  Alistair looked pale
and in shock.She cocked an eyebrow at
them.  "Well, any comments or ideas on what I should do with my life?"
They said nothing and kept their faces neutral.  "Really, because I just
figured that everyone should decide but me."  She looked down and found
she was in her leather armor with her daggers strapped on.  How
appropriate, since she was basically going to war with herself.  "No? 
Nothing...well that is interesting."  She could hear how bitter she
sounded.  She turned back to the hooded figure.  "You will have my
decision, when I decide."The figure merely
bowed its head.  "Don't take too long, Kaidana."  Kai felt her hand
reflexively going to one of her daggers.  She was really getting tired
of hearing her full name as if the figure owned her or she was a naughty
child.Kai turned and strode from the hall
letting her feet take her where they would.  They took her to the
training grounds near the armory.  Hay filled dummies were scattered
about the large round courtyard while targets for practicing archery
stood around the edges in four quarters.  [[I’m
having trouble seeing this in my head.  Can you make the arrangement any
clearer?]]Kai began attacking one
of the dummies, first with her unarmed martial arts skills as a sort of
warm up. Hitting, twirling, kicking – a nice sweat started to bead up
along her skin, and she felt her muscles loosen up.  Kai ran a distance
from the dummy and unsheathed her daggers, took a running start and
flung them as she did a forward tumble, coming back to her feet to
continue her forward momentum and grab the daggers sticking out of the
hapless dummy as she vaulted over it, doing a somersault. Without
turning around, she stabbed the dummy from behind in what would be its
kidneys.She continued fighting the dummy,
letting her mind clear as her body went through the almost reflexive
movements of her rogue training.  Her blades blurred faster and faster
until hay started tumbling to the ground and filling the air, falling
like golden snow.  In one final spit of rage, Kai spun and the dummy's
“head” went sailing across the courtyard to tumble and roll, landing at
Alistair's feet.  He just picked it up and looked at her.  "Who is that
supposed be?  Our little messenger, the ray of sunshine?"  He gave her
that lopsided grin.  Kai found herself laughing despite her anger and
her heavy breathing.  How did he do that?  Kai bent down, placing her
hands on her knees and panting, letting her sweat cool on the night air.Alistair walked up and held out his arms to
her.  She found herself just burying her face in his chest while he
rested his chin on her on top of her head.  They just stayed like that
for a while.  "What do you think I should do?" she finally ventured to
ask him.He stepped back and tilted her
chin to look at him.  "I think you should do what you want to do."  He
smoothed back her hair from her face."You
have a stake in this too, Alistair."  She looked into his face, but his
expression was difficult to read for once."All
my life, people made decisions for me. No one asked what I wanted until
Duncan, and then you.   You are the only two people who ever really
cared about me."  He kissed her forehead, her nose, her lips.  "How can I
take a decision away from you?"  He kissed her again tenderly.  "Don't
ask me to do that to you."  He sighed and held her close.  "Do I find
being a father wonderful idea?  Yes, I do.  Would it be even more
wonderful if I could actually be there to be a father?  Definitely.  But
my wants don't come into this.  Not this time."Kai sobbed, "I don't want to be without you
again.  I don't know that I can do it.  A huge part of me wants to stay
here, to be with you, make love to you.  You are my heart and soul.""And if little miss sunshine is right, we
literally are each others' heart and soul," Alistair quipped.  His joke
stopped her tears and again had her laughing.  He tilted her chin again
to look into her eyes.  "You heard the mysterious, boogity boo, scary,
cloaky, spirit person.  We are always together."  He smiled at her and
kissed her forehead."Alright, let's go
talk to the boogity boo lady."  Kai gave him a wan smile, wrapping her
arm around his waist as they made their way back to the hall.  Everyone
who wasn't standing, stood, and those standing and pacing, stopped when
they came in.  Kai suddenly felt as if she were naked as all eyes turned
towards her."OK, I will go back," she
heard herself say, though she couldn't believe it.  It was as if her
tongue had a mind of its own.  She didn't even remember having made up
her mind yet.  She let out the breath she hadn't realized she had been
holding.  "But I have a quid pro quo.  I will not be going to the Deep
Roads when I get the Calling.  I am not going back there ever again.  I
have had my fill of the place.  I am not going to take the chance of
being turned into a Broodmother.  I will drink poison or hang myself or
stick my head in a dwarven lava channel.  Whatever comes in handy."  The
hooded figure just looked at her with that amused smile on her face. 
That smile, along with the use of her full name, was getting annoying. 
"I don't give a tinker's damn what the Chantry says about taking your
own life." Kai paced.  "That is my deal, spirit.  Take it to the Maker
and see what he says."  Kai turned and sat down before her shaking legs
gave out.  The rest of them just continued to stare at her with varying
looks of amusement or shock."Actually,
Kaidana, there was one more offer I was going to make to you to
'sweeten' the ante in our game of Wicked Grace, but you came to your
decision, no?"  The spirit made a wide gesture with her hands and
continued, "The offer was this.  Lady Isolde still has some of the Ashes
of Andraste you brought back from the temple.  She is going to offer to
use them to save you.  When they are used, they will remove the taint
from your blood.  You will be able to live a long and normal life.  At
least, normal for you."  The spirit smiled again at her own joke."And why would Lady Isolde offer to save me?  We
didn't part on the best of terms."  Kai felt herself flushing, and she
couldn't look at Alistair.  "And wouldn't the Ashes work that way on any
Warden? Won't that start a clamor to use them until we run out?  That
could set a dangerous precedent," Kai scowled.  "And by the by, I really
don't like you; you're toying with me.  Push too far, and I might
change my mind."  Kai crossed her arms and cocked an eyebrow at the
figure before her.The figure only laughed,
lightly and liltingly. "Ah, my spiritual daughter, you are a stubborn
soul just as He made you.  We would not
have you any other way."  White hands raised and lifted off the hood of
the cloak to reveal honey colored hair surrounding a pair of big blue
eyes, rosy lips, and creamy skin."The
Ashes will only work because I want them to work.  They are the remains
of my physical body." Again, the woman laughed, "Allow me to introduce
myself – Andraste, bride of the Maker."

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 19 mai 2010 - 01:10 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 16

The room just fell silent as everyone stared at Andraste, or at least the spirit calling itself “Andraste,” as they had at Kai just a moment before.  Kai just snorted.  "Figures."  She tilted her head.  "Again, why would Lady Isolde do this?"
"Why do you keep asking her that?" Alistair asked her.
Kai felt herself flushing.  "Maybe because I slapped her when she insulted you?  Twice."  Kai looked up through her lashes at Alistair, not exactly ready to see what his expression was going to be.  He could be so sensitive about these kinds of things.  He always forgave and moved on.  It was one of his most enduring and annoying qualities.
He just sat down next to her and took her face in his hands.  "You slapped her for me?"
"Twice."  Kai looked him in the eye.  "It was before the funeral."  Kai struggled not to squirm.  "I told Eamon about the amulet.  He kind of got upset in a cared-for-you, not an upset-I-gave-it-to-you, sort of way.  It put her knickers in a twist, and she was talking badly about you, even after all we did for her, and I just snapped.  I was under a lot of emotional distress!"  Kai could hear the defensiveness in her voice.
Alastair just smiled, laughed and kissed her.  "Twice.  Well, at least you made her cheeks match.  You did, right?  It wasn't all on one side?"
Kai just smiled, "No, I made her match."  And she sank her head onto his shoulder.
"I always did find her to be self-centered and a bit stupid."  Kai heard her mother retort.
"Mother!"  Kai just laughed.  "My question remains unanswered, spir...Andraste.  Why would she help me?"
"Let us just say that Lady Isolde may not be the brightest lantern in the dark."  Kai snorted back a laugh.  "But, you removed the scales from her eyes, so to speak.  You showed her who she was and it came up wanting.  She has a need to make amends.  She really is a pious woman, in her way."  Andraste smiled down at Kai.
"Great, so how do we get me back to there, myself, my body?  This is so strange," Kai grumbled.  She felt so solid, so real here, and the more she was here, wherever “here” was in the Fade, the more the “real” world felt like a dream.
"Perhaps I should speak to her as she prays then?  And soon, no?"  Andraste seemed to read Kai's thoughts yet again.
"Yes, because the longer I am here, the less I want to go.  Let’s do this.  Do I just sit here on the couch or what?"  Kai found herself gripping Alistair's hand so tightly, her knuckles were white.
"The Ashes are already being brought out.  You need only to go back the way you came," Andraste smiled at her.
"Great, I have to go for a swim again?"  Kai forced herself to stand.  "Then, I need to go now."  She held Alistair's hand as if it were a lifeline as they walked out of Highever back to the lake.  Part of her was screaming that she was insane, going back, leaving them all again, but she ignored it.
"Good bye, darling, I love you so much.  But do try and watch your language," her mother jokingly nagged at her before hugging her.
"No father could be prouder. You are my fierce girl."  Her father pulled one of her braids and kissed her cheek.
"Help Fergus find love again, sister dear.  Life is too empty without someone.  Tell him we will be waiting for him."  Oriana hugged her tight.
Cailan just brushed her knuckles with his lips, "Dear lady."
"I knew I chose well with you, Kai.  You are the best of us.  And if I may, like your father I too am proud and honored to have known you, dear girl."  Duncan's deep voice became slightly choked toward the end.  Kai found her own eyes filled with unshed tears.
"I am only as good as the man who chose me," she told him as she hugged him tightly and he hugged her back.
Maric simply held her face in his hands and kissed her forehead.  "Remember, there is no 'perfect,' and that most of the time we do what we have to, and some of the time we get to do what we want."  He smiled at her.  "I know you will do very well.  Do you know how I know that?" he asked her as he held her chin looking her in the eyes.  Kai shook her head.  "Because it isn't just the quality of one's enemies that defines a person.  It is also the quality of their friends.  And you have many good friends.  I only hope I am counted among them still?"  He looked at her hopefully.
"Of that, ser, let there never be any doubt."  And she kissed him on the cheek and hugged him.
She turned to Alistair.  Her throat constricted, and her heart hurt.  She didn't have any words.  She was going back into a plane of existence where she would not be able to touch him or see him smile.  He smiled his lopsided smile at her and simply wrapped her in his arms and kissed her the way he had on top of Fort Drakon, their souls mingling together.  It was she who stepped back this time, running her fingers down his face.  She didn't even bother to try to stop the tears.
"Do not worry.  While time will be normal for you and time will seem to drag on at certain points in your life, it will not be an eternity until you get to see them again.  For them, no time will really have passed.  They will not have long to miss you.  Only Alistair will have a sense of time for both places," Andraste whispered in her ear as she hugged her close and released her.  "I, too, am proud of you, my spirit daughter."  Andraste smiled at her with genuine affection.
Kai began walking backwards into the water keeping her eyes on Alistair's face, her anchor.  As the water splashed around her thighs and her waist, she looked at all their beloved faces.  "Tell Oren his Auntie will be back in no time, OK?"  They all nodded, tears running down many pairs of cheeks.  The water got up to her chest and her shoulders and then her neck.  Before she dunked her head under, she wanted one last look, even if her heart felt as if it were being squeezed by a giant hand.
And then, she plunged under.  The water was so dark, and it was thick, and she had a momentary sense of panic.  Could you die again in the Fade, and if you did where, you go then?  Her lungs felt as if they were going to burst and then she hit the “surface” gasping and choking on air.  Leaving the Fade was not so pleasant as going to it.
Her eyes flew open to find a roomful of anxious faces, all in various degrees of exhaustion, tears, or stoicism, depending on whom you were looking at.
"Hullo, everyone."  Or at least that is what she thought she said before she found herself unceremoniously plucked from the bed and crushed in her brother’s arms.

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 14 juin 2010 - 02:09 .