People who are stuck on the "suicide mission" thing seem to forget the reason the mission, to stop the collectors, get's that name in the first place: THE OMEGA 4 RELAY. No ship has ever made it back, but then you are given the Reaper IFF. That changes the odds, so at that point, it really isn't a "suicide" mission, just highly dangerous.
And while you can save "your crew"--how is it a fairy tale ending, when numerous colonists are processed and the Reapers are still on the way? Maybe it isn't as gut-punching and personal as the loss on Vermire, but even in my "no one left behind" run, I still felt bad. There is one npc crew man who mentions his brother was taken, but no worries, Com Shep will get hm back, get them all back. Well, Com. Shep., wasn't quite that good.
And for a casual player, it isn't necessarily all that obvious what you need to do to get that No one left behind, especially the timing issue with leaving for the last mission. I'm sure many people playing the game will unintentionally lose crew or squad, and feel things are dark. For those who wanted more pain, well, you can skip the loyalty missions, fail to upgrade etc, and enjoy.
I'm glad they didn't just repeat the Virmire gimmick, and I was satisfied.