100 réponses à ce sujet

[Miliat]

Sisimka wrote...

Gah, I thought you'd posted more! *holds breath... passes out* More soon?

That was exactly my reaction! And yes, please, more?

[DalishRanger]

First... Oh, Olwaye... xD

Second: Taiyama's usually slow to update because college keeps him pretty busy. Just warning you, you might have to hone your patient fan skills.

And no criticisms here, Taiyama. Just warning the more newbie readers of your schedule. Don't ever rush things on our account.

[Miliat]

DalishRanger wrote...

First... Oh, Olwaye... xD
Second: Taiyama's usually slow to update because college keeps him pretty busy. Just warning you, you might have to hone your patient fan skills.
And no criticisms here, Taiyama. Just warning the more newbie readers of your schedule. Don't ever rush things on our account.

Oh I understand heavy schedules. I will wait patiently, bouncing and biting my lip.

[Taiyama]

Ahahaha, sorry guys. I DO have it halfway done (chapters are much longer in this series than the one-shots I do in Tales of Taiyama Surana) but DR's right that college keeps me busy. Specifically, it's signing up for classes time. I will try and get it done either today or tomorrow, though.

Edit: Also, I should point out that I will always let you know when an update comes via the title itself. Like with Tales of Taiyama Surana,, I'll edit the title to say when I've updated.

Modifié par Taiyama, 23 mars 2010 - 05:53 .

[Sisimka]

No worries, Taiyama, just our way of saying we like your stories.

[SRWill64]

Sisimka wrote...

DalishRanger wrote...

Random fact: Did you know that Legam's mabari's name, "Benjamin" is an obscure, subtle joke/play on words that so far, only one person has caught without me explaining it?

I'll work on that one...

Just to add to the off-topic randomness, I named all ten of my Mabari 'Jack'.  It's my cat's name...

I know it's a little off-topic but I couldn't resist.
One of my Mabari's names is DarkspawnsNightmare; I figured the Darkspawn should have a few nightmares of their own...the Wardens have them! LOL

[SRWill64]

Love your story, too. And I think it really nails the characters personalities. Good job!

[SRWill64]

Olwaye wrote...

Great story, with an interesting idea. I like the idea of a demonic Darkspawn, no particular critics of style to make.

But you might be accuse of getting commercial with making Alistair the main focus, trying to please all the Alistair fangirls and boys are you? (Jesting people, jesting). 

Alistair fans : Hey this guy is making fun of us and Ali

Olwaye : Oh S**t !!!!!

Alistair fans: Let's get him. We shall tie him up to the sacred lamppost and leave him to the rabid teenage fangirls.

Olwaye : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I've derailed a thread once more.

ROFL You are hilarious, Olwaye! 
Yes, I am an Alistair fan. Love that guy! And my husband is jealous! But I believe Alistair would react in just that way. He doesn't believe in himself until much later in the game and blames himself for all the death that comes to people he cares about, some because he was there and couldn't prevent it and some because he wasn't there to prevent it. It doesn't matter, either way he's to blame, in his own mind. Now others hold no blame for him, but that doesn't change his mind at all. It's just part of his personality.

I feel so very sorry for both Alistair and Leilana in this story. It's hard to lose someone you love so very much and especially if they just saved your life.

[Taiyama]

Thank you very much, SRWill64! I'm glad you think my Alistair is in-character. Taiyama had yet to have a chance to "harden" him as it were so it's been helpful to think about how Alistair reacted to Duncan's death and use that as a sort of baseline to how he'd react to Taiyama's.

[SRWill64]

Is there any more?

[DalishRanger]

As said earlier, Taiyama's busy with college, so he doesn't have a lot of time to write outside of classes. He'll have more stuff eventually. Just be used to waiting days/over a week at a time while classes are still going for him.

[SRWill64]

Hey, Ranger. Just wondering, isn't he supposed to get a spring break soon? I know the high school kids did but....

Btw, I like your signature stuff at the bottom of your posts. Yes, we DO exist. I am female and play males 99% of the time. Go figure. My husband plays females except on DA:O and DA:A

[Taiyama]

Spring Break was over a week ago for me, I'm afraid. Sorry about not updating recently. I had a big speech to work on that I'm actually going to go give in about an hour. Wish me luck!



And I WILL update this sometime soon, I promise. I have a lot of it done but I just haven't had time to finish the remainder.

[DalishRanger]

SRWill64 wrote...
Btw, I like your signature stuff at the bottom of your posts. Yes, we DO exist. I am female and play males 99% of the time. Go figure. My husband plays females except on DA:O and DA:A

I find that most female gamers (in my experience) prefer to play their own gender, which is understandable and fine. I'm just not one of them. I find male characters more fun to create and get into character with.

Heh, my brother usually favors playing females himself, though he usually uses male PC avatars online for forums. I guess so people don't get confused.

@Taiyama: As I always say, no worries buddy. College first, arsing around the DA:O fandom second. We'll be waiting for you when you get back.

[SRWill64]

Taiyama, as DR was saying, no worries. I am impatient for a good story, that's all. But college is more important and I know you will be back to storytelling sometime, and I'll be waiting. Thanks again for the great story telling. I know some people have a story and they're just not willing to tell it. I would write something but I'm afraid it wouldn't be original. You know......blah! LOL

[DalishRanger]

SRWill64 wrote...
Taiyama, as DR was saying, no worries. I am impatient for a good story, that's all.

*Shameless self plugging* I just started a new topic a few hours ago. It's the first part in a collection of several various short stories about my avatar mage, Legam - before, during, and after Origins. You're welcome to read that, or my other fiction while Taiyama's tied up with school.

[Taiyama]

SRWill64 wrote...

Taiyama, as DR was saying, no worries. I am impatient for a good story, that's all. But college is more important and I know you will be back to storytelling sometime, and I'll be waiting. Thanks again for the great story telling. I know some people have a story and they're just not willing to tell it. I would write something but I'm afraid it wouldn't be original. You know......blah! LOL

Trust me as someone who's been writing for quite a few years now: your first story will probably be mediocre even if you have a lot of talent but you'll never get better if you don't get your work out there to be critiqued by others, and the best way to do that is to write about something you love. I actually got started writing fanfiction on Runescape forums and though I look back on my first stories with disgust at the quality, they were very valuable learning experiences. Besides, it's fun too! I'm sure you'll do well.

As Taiyama (the character) would say, "Shut out doubt and go beyond the impossible!"

Modifié par Taiyama, 01 avril 2010 - 12:56 .

[DalishRanger]

Indeed. My first fanfictions (technically, as this was before I had Internet access or connections to fandoms) were Pokémon related. Then, after I got into online fandoms, I started writing Monster Rancher fanfiction. The quality of those writings were... Better than those of my peers at the time, but nonetheless awful by the standards I would set now. Heck, I'm picky about what fanfiction I'll read, and the fiction writer me from ten years ago wouldn't meet my requirements for it.

But as much as I cringe looking at my older writing, I don't regret doing it. I wouldn't have gotten to the level that I am today without starting somewhere, so I am grateful for the experience and practice my early works gave me.

[Taiyama]

Chapter 2: Bad Things Happen When I Lead!

This is the tale of a man who has yet to accept his destiny.

The youngest warden, a man untried in combat and afraid of leadership, was thrust by fate into a situation he never dreamed he would be in. Yet he rose to the task. Despite his fears, he grew, he learned, and he became a leader the likes of which appear a few times every generation. Through his strength of will, loyalty, and courage he kept a motley group together in a common cause to save Ferelden from the Blight. Yet fate, it seems, had different ideas in this world and in the brief span of moments, that warden was gone.

Yet Alistair still lives. He must continue to live and learn as Taiyama learned, else Ferelden is lost. Surrender to despair is not an option.
*******************************
The rain didn’t stop. It was almost as if the heavens themselves wept for their loss. The overcast sky almost completely blocked out the sun, which combined with some fog clinging to the ground gave a greyish tint to the landscape. The distant rumble of thunder could be heard from the horizon and the wind moaned softly around them.

The group had hastily erected a large tarp to hold a meeting under. They gathered around Taiyama’s body in the middle, whose confident smile clashed a great deal with the weather and the depressed mood that pervaded amongst them. They were all soaked to the bone, shivering from the cold (well, except for Shale), and thoroughly miserable. Though they shed no more tears at that point, the eyes of Alistair, Leliana, and to some extent Morrigan’s were red and puffy, attesting to the tears shed earlier.

“So…what do we do now?” Alistair asked, breaking the solemn silence that had persisted up to that point.

Sten had opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Leliana holding a hand out in front of him. “Why don’t you tell us, Alistair?”

“Teach him as I was taught…”Cryptic words he meant only for me, I think. After all, I knew him better than anyone here. Leliana thought. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? For me to force him to lead as you were forced. I just…hope he’ll rise to the occasion like you did, Love. Even when you were so scared you were visibly shaking, you still were a great leader.

“Wh-what? Why do you want me to tell you? I don’t know what to do!” Alistair said.

Leliana crossed her arms and frowned. “You’re the last Grey Warden in Ferelden, Alistair. It’s your duty to lead us now that...” Her voice caught here. “…now that Taiyama is gone.”

“B-but I can’t do this! I don’t know the first thing about leading! I’ll fight the Blight, sure, but for the love of the Maker don’t make me lead! Bad things happen when I lead!”

“Taiyama believed in you, Alistair. He knew you could do it. I believe in you too.” Leliana sighed. “If you can’t have faith in yourself, then at least have faith in Taiyama and his belief in you.”

“But I!...” Alistair fell silent for a few moments then sighed. “All right, all right, fine. But just as long as you know no good will come of this. When we see Taiyama at the Maker’s side after we fail spectacularly and Ferelden is lost to the Blight, I’m just going to point at you and say ‘She did it!’”

Leliana cocked the slightest of smirks—impressive considering what had happened earlier. Alistair didn’t realize, it seemed, that he had his own ways of boosting the morale of his followers that were different from Taiyama’s. “Deal. So, where do we go?”

Alistair thought for a moment. “Taiyama said we were going to Redcliffe to resupply then head out to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes to cure Eamon, right? I guess we’ll do that.”

“And what shall we do with Kadaan’s body?” Sten asked.

“Uh…’Kadaan’?”

“A term of endearment for a person or a thing in my language—literally ‘where the heart lies’ in your language. It is a title he earned.”

“Oh... Well, I think we should take him with us to Redcliffe, at least. He saved their city, after all. I think they’ll give him the burial and the respect he deserves. I just…hate the idea of burying him out here to be forgotten, you know?”

Sten nodded mutely.

“So, shall we pack up and move out now or wait for this rain to end?” Wynne asked.

Alistair was about to reflexively reply “I don’t know” but stopped himself then thought for another moment. “I… Huh… Do you think it’ll end soon?”

Wynne shrugged. “Who can say? If old age has taught me anything, it’s never to try and predict the rain.”

“I…guess we should go ahead and move out, then. The sooner we’re in Redcliffe, the better. Uh, does anyone have any objections over that?”

The rest of the group was silent.

“All right, I guess we should take this tarp down and move on.”

Alistair bent down to pick up Taiyama’s body while the others tended to the tarp but Leliana stopped him. “Let me…please…”

Alistair frowned sympathetically at her for a moment then nodded. “All right…”

Delicately, slowly, Leliana picked up the body of her dearest love and cradled it in her arms. Fortunately, training with the bow ensured that she had strength to spare to carry him with ease. Alistair picked up Taiyama’s staff and began leading the way once the tarp was down.

It was a wet and miserable journey and Alistair almost immediately regretted not waiting this rain out. The road beneath them was incredibly muddy and more than once Alistair’s boots sank so far in he needed help to get out. Ever couple of minutes he would contemplate ordering them to stop where they were and wait out the rain but different things stopped him from speaking each time—not wanting to appear to be a terrible leader by going back on an order (though he was sure that’s what he looked like anyway), not being entirely sure about his decision, a niggling thought that they’d gone so far so they might as well keep going until the end, etc.

After roughly two hours of traveling, they heard the sound of marching—or what could be called “marching” in this slop—down the road ahead of them. Sure enough, out of the fog and gloom came a division of Redcliffe soldiers, who promptly saluted once they realized who approached.

“Hail, Grey Wardens,” greeted the man who appeared to be their commander.

Alistair briefly felt the urge to correct him and say “Grey Warden. Singular.” but decided against it. “What brings you out here in this weather? Just patrolling the roads for darkspawn?”

“Not this time. We were sent to investigate the source of a large fireball that could be seen from the walls of Redcliffe itself. You seem to have come from that direction. Do you know anything about that?”

“A large fireball…? Oh! That was…that was Taiyama. He was fighting an, um, particularly powerful darkspawn.”

The soldiers behind them all muttered exclamations of relief and a few “Thank the Maker!”s. Obviously they had not been looking forward to potentially fighting a mage powerful enough to do that, especially in this weather.

“Then he is truly a powerful mage indeed. It is fortunate he is on our side…” He scanned the group and realized that he could not see Taiyama amongst them, for Leliana, who carried his body, was behind Sten. “Where is Taiyama, anyway? I hope he’s all right…”

Leliana slowly stepped out from behind Sten and showed them Taiyama’s body with a deep sigh and a shake of her head.

“He’s…He’s dead…” Alistair stated, his voice cracking as the grief sprung up, which prompted outcries of disbelief and sadness from the ranks of soldiers.

“No!...” the commander said. “I…I can’t believe it… Was it that darkspawn you mentioned that killed him?”

Alistair nodded. “Yeah… He saved my life, pushing me out of the way to take that wound to the heart you see. And he still got up and finished the job before he…before he…” Alistair couldn’t bring himself to say the words “before he died”, as if saying it would somehow make it real and not just the terrible dream he desperately wanted it to be.

“I…see…” the commander muttered. “It seems like such a short time ago that he fought alongside us against those corpses. Are you taking him to Redcliffe?”

“Yes. We need to resupply there and…well…I was hoping you’d give him a better send-off than us just burying him along the road there.”

The commander nodded. “I agree. We owe him our lives, we will make sure to honor his memory. Since we now know the source of that fireball, we have no reason to be out here in this mess. We’ll escort you to Redcliffe, if that’s all right.”

“All right…”
************************
The storm had only gotten worse since their arrival. The wind and rain buffeted against the windows of the Redcliffe Chantry like an invading army intent on breaking its way through. Inside, every citizen of Redcliffe who was able was packed in to see the funeral of The Champion of Redcliffe. They all stood inside, stretching and standing on tip-toes to try and get a view of Taiyama’s body, which was placed on a stone slab in front of the altar. A priest and Bann Teagan stood before his body.

Alistair, Leliana, and the others were in the front of the mass of people as the funeral began and the priest began discussing Taiyama’s life—including a personal anecdote regarding a discussion she had with him during the undead attacks.

I honestly had no idea what she was saying. All I could do was just…stare at Taiyama’s body, lying there so peacefully like he had simply fallen asleep and not actually died. The only thing I really heard was Leliana’s occasional soft sob as she quietly cried her eyes out. I didn’t really know what I could do to comfort her. I put a hand on her shoulder but I’m not sure if it helped…

The room was largely quiet, save for the priest’s eulogy, the low rumble and crash of the weather outside, and the sobs of those who cried. Though all grieved for their hero, few openly cried save for those who knew him or those, like Kaitlyn and Bevin, whose lives had been personally touched by him. Such was the lot of a mage, it seemed: no family known to grieve for his loss. Alistair remembered that Taiyama mentioned being born in Denerim—he would have to stop by when this was over and ask for the Surana family, and let them know what had become of their son.

Soon, all too soon, it was over. The priest grew silent and the room grew still in anticipation. Alistair stumbled forward and moved towards the stone slab where Taiyama’s body lay. Slowly, reverently, he picked him up and began walking towards the Chantry’s door. Though the room was packed to the brim, the crowd still scooted and squeezed to part like a river for him to pass.

The door was opened for him and Alistair walked out. Raindrops that felt the size of small rocks pounded down on him but he pressed forward towards his destination: a large tarp that had been prepared to block the rain and the funeral pyre which lay beneath it. As he set Taiyama’s body down on top of the pyre and reverently crossed the mage’s hands over his heart, the crowd began piling in underneath the tarp.

He was still smiling. The stupid, stupid, brave, amazing bastard was still smiling that crooked smile of his, Alistair noticed. For once in his life, Alistair truly hoped and prayed what the Chantry said about the afterlife was true. Then, at least, all those he had lost would be getting their just rewards now…

Alistair took his place back among the crowd next to Leliana and the pyre was lit. Slowly, the fire advanced upwards towards the pyre, building in strength. The flames began licking Taiyama’s body…

Leliana couldn’t take it anymore. She threw herself into Alistair’s arms and began crying and wailing with increased fervor. Alistair’s strong façade gradually broke down and he, too, cried. Looking through eyes with eyesight bleary from the tears that stung at them, Alistair watched the flames consume Taiyama until he could be seen no more through them.

You stupid, stupid bastard! You just had to go and save my useless arse and then die in the process! Why didn’t you just let me die?! Damn it! DAMN IT!
****************************
Three days of this muck…but it looks like it’s finally clearing up. Hopefully we can leave soon…

Alistair sighed and looked out the window of Redcliffe castle onto the hustle and bustle of the town. Though the skies were still cloudy, the rain had finally stopped and sunlight was beginning to pierce the gloom. The tarp under which Taiyama’s pyre had been was being taken down and his ashes were being collected to place at a memorial spot in the city. Bann Teagan had promised that after the Blight was finished, he would oversee a statue built to commemorate the man.

Alistair heard footsteps beside him and turned to see Zevran, fully packed and looking ready for travel, heading towards the door.

“Zevran, where are you going? We’re not leaving yet.”

The assassin stopped in place and Alistair noticed brief flashes of emotion—surprise, disappointment, and something he couldn’t quite place—play on his face before he covered it with a stoic façade.

“I am leaving, Alistair…”

“Wh-what do you mean? Where are you going?” Alistair asked, not wanting to believe what he was suspecting.

Zevran sighed and looked at the ground, unable to say this to Alistair’s puppy dog eyes. “My oath was to Taiyama. Now that he’s…gone…I am released of that oath. I’m leaving the party to seek my fortune elsewhere.” And I don’t fancy our chances with you in the lead was the silent addition to that sentence.

“Zevran…come on! You can’t leave! I can’t do this without you!”

Zevran turned back to the door and began walking. “I am sorry, Alistair, but I must go…”

Alistair wracked his brain for something—anything—that might persuade Zevran to stay with them. The notion even briefly flitted through his head to pay Zevran to stay with them but they didn’t really have the coi-

That’s it!

“Zevran…what about the treasure?”

Zevran stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to look at Alistair. “What do you mean…?”

Alistair smirked. “You know, the treasure. We’ve already gone to quite a few exotic places, found lots of things of value. In fact, we’re fixing to head to what may very well be Andraste’s final resting place. You know there’s got to be a lot of treasure there.”

He could practically see the gears grind inside the elf’s head as he mulled over what Alistair said. “I know where you’re going. I could head there myself first and gather what riches there is for myself alone…”

“But there’s safety in numbers, Zevran. What if you find something you can’t handle on your own? Besides, we’ll probably head to other places that are even more filled with riches that you won’t know about.”

Zevran sighed exasperatedly and Alistair knew he had won. “Very well, Alistair. I will stay with you until such time as I choose to leave. Deal?”

“All right, deal. That’s fair enough.” Alistair sighed and began heading back up to their quarters. “Well, it’s a good thing you’re packed, anyway. It’s about time we get a move on, I suppose. I’m going to go tell the others to get ready.”
******************************
“So you’re not coming with us?”

Hunter barked conversationally.

Alistair sighed and shifted the weight of his backpack. “I know you want to stay with Taiyama, but…Taiyama’s gone. His ashes may be here but he’s at the Maker’s side now.”

Hunter whined quizzically, cocking his head.

Alistair was suddenly struck by the difficulty of trying to get a dog—even if it’s a smart dog like a mabari—to understand the concept of an afterlife… “How can I put it…? He’s…in another place but it’s not someplace you or I can follow him to. Not yet, anyway.”

Hunter whined sadly.

“I know… It is sad. I want to follow him too.”

Hunter whined again.

“But don’t you think Taiyama would want you to follow us and help defeat the Blight instead of moping around here?”

Hunter barked.

“So are you coming with us?”

Hunter barked and wagged his little stub of a tail so hard that his butt began to wiggle.

Alistair smiled. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. Come on, let’s go make him proud.”

Morrigan sighed. “Are you quite done talking with that fool dog? Can we go?”

Alistair nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go…”

Alistair led—euuugh, led! The very was making his hands shake!—the group towards the main gate of Redcliffe, dog following along dutifully. He glanced up to the sky and saw the sun peek through the clouds.

I hope you’re watching out for me up there, Taiyama…Duncan…everyone… Maker knows I’m really going to need it… 

Author's Notes: For this, I just listened to the sound of actual rain. Kinda backfired when I was writing late at night and got sleepy listening to it :B

"Listen, Alistair! Don't believe in yourself! Believe in me! Believe in the Taiyama who believes in you!" Heh, that one line by Leliana made me think of that, but it DID seem in-character for Alistair to not have faith in himself at first and NEED to "believe in Taiyama's faith in you".

Sorry this took so long, guys and (mostly) gals. I got really hung up there on the Taiyama's funeral part. Couldn't figure out how to write it out but I'm kind of proud of how it worked out. What do you think? 

Also, if you're wondering why I threw in Zevran and Hunter almost leaving the party, it was to get across the point that such a motley crew really can't hold together without the leader holding them together and binding them in a common cause. That's what Taiyama was before he died and it was a hallmark of his character that he was able to take such diverse people and have them willing to fight and die for him. The fact that Alistair was able to hold the group together too, even if it was by a hair, shows that he has the natural talent necessary to lead, even if he doesn't think so.

Cookie for anyone who can spot the Christian symbolism, by the way.

Criticisms are much appreciated!

Modifié par Taiyama, 01 avril 2010 - 03:55 .

[Olwaye]

Can't spot any big flaw my friend you are getting better and better at description without resorting to awkward words, great job so far.

Probably missed out on the christian symbolism, but then again I am the least likely person to spot it due to my conflictual relationship with anykind of organized religion.

[Taiyama]

Thanks, Olwaye. Though I do feel a bit of a flash of shame that I ever used awkward words to describe in the first place, but I'm just like that. I forgive no imperfection in myself.

[Olwaye]

Don't, you always get straight to the heart of your characters deepest feelings whatever words you are using.

There is nothing flashy about your work, just sometimes a love of old fashioned formula that sound strange to those french ears.

[DalishRanger]

I agree with Olwaye, you are getting better with descriptions without them feeling too awkward or oddly worded. And I think the funeral scene was appropriately somber.

As for the Christian symbolism... I live in north Georgia. I see Christian symbolism everywhere so much that it pretty much just doesn't register with me anymore. Sorry. xD

[Sisimka]

I liked the conversation with Zevran. I have often wondered about his brand of loyalty, its convenient to the game to have him oath-bound to the warden, but he seems eager enough to stay on after the little shakedown in Denerim if his approval is high enough. Nicely done.

[Taiyama]

Sisimka wrote...



I liked the conversation with Zevran. I
have often wondered about his brand of loyalty, its convenient to the
game to have him oath-bound to the warden, but he seems eager enough to
stay on after the little shakedown in Denerim if his approval is high
enough. Nicely done.

Yeah, his loyalty always seemed
tied to the oath he gave, I figured he'd need coaxing to stay on the
group. And thanks for the compliment, my lady.

Olwaye
wrote...



Don't, you always get straight to the
heart of your characters deepest feelings whatever words you are using.

There
is nothing flashy about your work, just sometimes a love of old
fashioned formula that sound strange to those french ears.

It's
a testament to the depths of my feelings of inadequacy regarding my
writing that your comment that there's "nothing flashy" sounds like a
criticism even though I know you don't mean it that way. *sigh*... I
know I don't have the flair for description others do and it'll likely
be an eternal shame of mine. I'm trying to work on it, though. I think
in pictures, like a movie in my head, and sometimes it's difficult to
translate that into words. It's something only experience will fix.