11 réponses à ce sujet

[LadyDamodred]

Synopsis: This is a story that wrote itself in my head when I was recruiting Loghain into my party. It's the only way I could explain why my HNF took leave of her senses and betrayed Alistair, and it was either get it out by writing it or go mad. Enjoy.

Edit:  I've gone back through this story and rewritten it.  I've also added another chapter that ties things up a bit more.  It ended up being significantly different than the original version in some areas.  If you read the story before, feel free to give it another going over.  This version is much more solid and far better, at least in my eyes.

www.fanfiction.net/s/5800601/1/

Modifié par LadyDamodred, 23 août 2010 - 06:09 .

[moemie]

I have read it, it is beautiful

[LadyDamodred]

Thank you.



Also *bump* for shameless self promotion in the hopes of getting more feedback

[K9miles]

This is an excellent story, if you write your next fanfic with similar flair then it will be a great read.

[MireliA]

I really enjoyed this story - I've reviewed on FF as well

[LadyDamodred]

Hooray! Thank you very much.



I've got the next one started, and will be posting it here soon.

[Yankee23]

Excellent! Your take on the "why" was very emotional, you made me cry.

[LadyDamodred]

Gah! Damn, damn! I have just rewritten this and was waiting for it to come from my final checker before I posted it. *flails about*

Edit: Well, when it comes back, I will be updating with the rewritten chapters and the added chapter.

Modifié par LadyDamodred, 23 août 2010 - 04:07 .

[LadyDamodred]

Shameless bump for rewritten version.

[Yankee23]

Lol, I will be re-reading as soon as I am home from work! The need for tissues in the original leads me to belive I should not read it from here.

[Yankee23]

Ok. Read the re-write and still love it. The au didn't bother me but I do like this ending better, especially the going "home" bit.

I do have one question though, when Lya tells Alistair of the dreams you shortened the section where she details all the things she tried on the roof, what was the reason? I thought it worked really well to demonstrate the anguish the dreams caused her. That part made me tear up last night. Not a criticism, but it stood out enough for me to miss it.

And his answer to her "what have you been up to question" had more of "real" feeling, but I did like the fluff answer from the original.

Great work, as always!

[LadyDamodred]

I like the ending better, too. It needed to have some actual closure and I think this does that now.



I shortened the section with the dream and made it less detailed because it was supposed to be a projection of her fears. The original was way too detailed and unrealistic simply because of how realistic it was, if that makes any sense. It might even still be a bit too detailed, but it's definitely a whole lot better now.



And, yes, while the fluff answer from the original was nice, it was also very unrealistic, especially for where Alistair's head was at the time. This is not as nice, and not as happy, but it's what it needs to be.



Thank you.