So, let me see if I get some of the logic here applied in a RL situation. Years ago my husband took a job that meant he had to work weekends (at the time he really needed the job). I was furious as I have a 8-5 Mon - Fri work week and this means we would barely see each other. Now, I gave up all of my friends to move here. The only people I know are friends of my husband, my mother-in-law and work mates. If I follow Nida's logic, I could be justified in having an affair because my husband took a job that meant we spent very little time together and moved me away from my entire social network. However, I love my husband and have absolutely no compulsion to cheat. So I must assume that Nida didn't marry her husband because she truly loved and respected him. She probably married him for what she thought he could give her; and when his dedication to duty got in the way of what she wanted, she sought other companionship. So, there really is no justification for her finding someone else is there.
(Awakenings) Dirty Adulterer
Débuté par
Ambeth
, mars 24 2010 03:15
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#102
Guest_Colenda_*
Posté 25 mars 2010 - 06:29
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Love? Loyalty? Respect for their sacrifice? Basic human decency?
That's just a string of emotive abstract nouns. Look, if spouse A wants a child, a partner who lives with her and a permanent home and marries spouse B, probably in a fit of love-induced stupidity, whom she later finds out just wants to play soldiers like Cailan, and furthermore, to play soldiers in such a way that makes it unlikely there'll be a child or a permanent home, then these people are clearly not suited to each other.
It's all very well for the new recruit to the Grey Wardens to say 'but I'm sacrificing my life for you!' when what he's actually sacrificing is her life. Because he isn't interested in saving the reality of her, he's interested in saving the ideal wife that only exists inside his head. Perhaps he should marry a statue instead, it would be much more convenient.
Modifié par Colenda, 25 mars 2010 - 06:31 .
#103
Posté 25 mars 2010 - 06:40
errant_knight
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Well... I guess one person's 'emotive abstract noun' is another person's concrete idea of acceptable and honorable behavior. Not much to be said beyond that, really.
#104
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Posté 25 mars 2010 - 06:50
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errant_knight wrote...
Well... I guess one person's 'emotive abstract noun' is another person's concrete idea of acceptable and honorable behavior. Not much to be said beyond that, really.
I think we're talking about different things here. Do I think it's good to break faith, whether with a lover or anyone else? No. Yay, I have some ethics. Go me. /irony
But a) I'm suggesting that from Nida's point of view, her husband may have broken faith with her before she did with him and
although I don't know the scene well and don't have the dialogue files available to check them, I've been under the impression that Nida's affair was recent and she was just waiting for a chance to end her marriage, that chance being her husband's presence.
Modifié par Colenda, 25 mars 2010 - 06:51 .
#105
Posté 25 mars 2010 - 06:59
errant_knight
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Colenda wrote...
errant_knight wrote...
Well... I guess one person's 'emotive abstract noun' is another person's concrete idea of acceptable and honorable behavior. Not much to be said beyond that, really.
I think we're talking about different things here. Do I think it's good to break faith, whether with a lover or anyone else? No. Yay, I have some ethics. Go me. /irony
But a) I'm suggesting that from Nida's point of view, her husband may have broken faith with her before she did with him and
I don't think her motivations matter. She might use them to excuse her behavior, but they don't mitigate it. Likewise, a plan to tell her husband when she can doesn't make it any better. She had the option to wait until she could tell him before taking up the affair.
#106
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Posté 25 mars 2010 - 07:12
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errant_knight wrote...
Colenda wrote...
errant_knight wrote...
Well... I guess one person's 'emotive abstract noun' is another person's concrete idea of acceptable and honorable behavior. Not much to be said beyond that, really.
I think we're talking about different things here. Do I think it's good to break faith, whether with a lover or anyone else? No. Yay, I have some ethics. Go me. /irony
But a) I'm suggesting that from Nida's point of view, her husband may have broken faith with her before she did with him and
I don't think her motivations matter. She might use them to excuse her behavior, but they don't mitigate it. Likewise, a plan to tell her husband when she can doesn't make it any better. She had the option to wait until she could tell him before taking up the affair.
That would be the proper, self-disciplined thing to do, but affairs aren't typically held to be about self-control. You make the affair sound like a monstrous crime, but the marriage was already broken, in all but name. If one partner's happy and the other's lonely, dog miserable, desperate, it's a hell, not a marriage. I wonder how far he consulted her, when he had himself initiated into a semi-secret society that limits the ability to reproduce and fundamentally changes the nature of the people inside it?
#107
Posté 25 mars 2010 - 07:26
SurelyForth
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Colenda wrote...
That would be the proper, self-disciplined thing to do, but affairs aren't typically held to be about self-control. You make the affair sound like a monstrous crime, but the marriage was already broken, in all but name. If one partner's happy and the other's lonely, dog miserable, desperate, it's a hell, not a marriage. I wonder how far he consulted her, when he had himself initiated into a semi-secret society that limits the ability to reproduce and fundamentally changes the nature of the people inside it?
Since the Wardens hold that little detail to themselves, it was hardly his fault. He thought he was doing good, heroic thing by joining the Wardens. He couldn't have known about the infertility, shortened life, etc. He also probably would have never dreamed that he would be relocated to Ferelden, of all places.
#108
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Posté 25 mars 2010 - 07:32
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SurelyForth wrote...
Colenda wrote...
That would be the proper, self-disciplined thing to do, but affairs aren't typically held to be about self-control. You make the affair sound like a monstrous crime, but the marriage was already broken, in all but name. If one partner's happy and the other's lonely, dog miserable, desperate, it's a hell, not a marriage. I wonder how far he consulted her, when he had himself initiated into a semi-secret society that limits the ability to reproduce and fundamentally changes the nature of the people inside it?
Since the Wardens hold that little detail to themselves, it was hardly his fault. He thought he was doing good, heroic thing by joining the Wardens. He couldn't have known about the infertility, shortened life, etc. He also probably would have never dreamed that he would be relocated to Ferelden, of all places.
He probably wouldn't have known all of that, you're right. It's hard to work out precisely what he would have expected, without knowing more about the details of life in the Wardens, and at what time he joined. His idealism when you meet him makes him sound like a new convert, which made me think at first that he joined in response to the Blight, but without the DA Awakening resources being released on the toolset it's hard to go deeply into things. It's all very hypothetical.
Modifié par Colenda, 25 mars 2010 - 07:33 .
