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[nos_astra]

Costin_Razvan wrote...
Interesting, very interesting.

Truthfully though...I am slightly annoyed by this fiction. Oh not that it isn't well written or anything like that, but in the end Alistair and Lya will win, and Osric will die. It is how it ALWAYS ends up. In reality the "Good Guys" usually end up dead, and the "Bad Guys" win. It's how it works.

Now while it can be entertaining to see the struggles of two people. It get's rather dull when you know they will win regardless what. I think part of that problem lies in the fact you spent most of the story so far focused on Alistair/Lya,  and very little on Osric.

By contrast I will give one of my favorite FanFictions: www.fanfiction.net/s/395232/1/Warcraft_2_Tides_of_Darkness 

What makes it great, is that while a side will clearly win from the beginning, the author goes to great lengths to ensure he really fleshes out the villain. So that the readers know exactly what their motives and goals are before the confrontation takes place...So far regarding Osric we don't know much why he is trying to get rid of Lya and Alistair, except that he is trying to place a new order....

It keeps the reader animated, in the sense that while they do know the good guys will win, they want to know exactly how, given the strength of their enemy. So far in your story you made Osric seem pathetic while making Alistair and Lya seem very capable compared to him, or that is the feeling I got from reading.

I'm going to have to read this as I'm struggling with how to antagonize my own main characters.

Modifié par klarabella, 26 mai 2010 - 08:35 .

[Miri1984]

Costin_Razvan wrote...


Interesting, very interesting.

Truthfully though...I am slightly annoyed by this fiction. Oh not that it isn't well written or anything like that, but in the end Alistair and Lya will win, and Osric will die. It is how it ALWAYS ends up. In reality the "Good Guys" usually end up dead, and the "Bad Guys" win. It's how it works.

Now while it can be entertaining to see the struggles of two people. It get's rather dull when you know they will win regardless what. I think part of that problem lies in the fact you spent most of the story so far focused on Alistair/Lya,  and very little on Osric.

By contrast I will give one of my favorite FanFictions: www.fanfiction.net/s/395232/1/Warcraft_2_Tides_of_Darkness 

What makes it great, is that while a side will clearly win from the beginning, the author goes to great lengths to ensure he really fleshes out the villain. So that the readers know exactly what their motives and goals are before the confrontation takes place...So far regarding Osric we don't know much why he is trying to get rid of Lya and Alistair, except that he is trying to place a new order....

It keeps the reader animated, in the sense that while they do know the good guys will win, they want to know exactly how, given the strength of their enemy. So far in your story you made Osric seem pathetic while making Alistair and Lya seem very capable compared to him, or that is the feeling I got from reading.

To be fair, though, you're criticising a fic for not taking a direction you'd like it to go in. Many, many MANY fictions don't delve into the motivations of the villain for the entertainment of the reader, and in a lot of cases we don't want them to - the whole point is to get to the end and find out. If you know the moves of both parties the whole way through in my opinion you run the risk of losing the dramatic tension.

It's the choice of the story teller how they give you the story in the end.

[nos_astra]

Miri1984 wrote...
To be fair, though, you're criticising a fic for not taking a direction you'd like it to go in.

I don't think so. He does have a point ... in general. He's making a suggestion that could add to the story to explore the villain a little and offers an example. That's constructive criticism.

LadyD could consider or dismiss it now, maybe she has already planned more for Osric, maybe she thinks it's a good idea and will add something, maybe she rather wants to focus on something else.

We'll see. :happy:

Modifié par klarabella, 26 mai 2010 - 09:09 .

[Miri1984]

I know what you're saying, but a slow reveal is a valid way of doing it too. In some cases exposing the villain's motivations are actually detrimental to the story - I like the suspense and surprise of finding out later - maybe that's just me though. It's nice having these little, tantalising glimpses into Osric's mind - knowing that he has SOMETHING big planned but not knowing exactly what - it keeps the tension alive for me. It also gives you something to speculate about.



And we don't know what the next few chapters will bring - perhaps Osric's complete plan will be exposed in the next one!

[LadyDamodred]

Costin_Razvan wrote...

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

Miri1984 wrote...

A bit like KOP's favourite man? *ducks*.

No, they are different. Loghain's plan was a reaction. He was reacting to a percieved threat, but he didn't have a vision that was motivating him.
Osric on the otherhand is actively engaged in establishing a new order, based on his vision of how things should work.

Osric is visionary. Loghain is reactionary (as in he is reacting).

Interesting, very interesting.

Truthfully though...I am slightly annoyed by this fiction. Oh not that it isn't well written or anything like that, but in the end Alistair and Lya will win, and Osric will die. It is how it ALWAYS ends up. In reality the "Good Guys" usually end up dead, and the "Bad Guys" win. It's how it works.

Now while it can be entertaining to see the struggles of two people. It get's rather dull when you know they will win regardless what. I think part of that problem lies in the fact you spent most of the story so far focused on Alistair/Lya,  and very little on Osric.

By contrast I will give one of my favorite FanFictions: www.fanfiction.net/s/395232/1/Warcraft_2_Tides_of_Darkness 

What makes it great, is that while a side will clearly win from the beginning, the author goes to great lengths to ensure he really fleshes out the villain. So that the readers know exactly what their motives and goals are before the confrontation takes place...So far regarding Osric we don't know much why he is trying to get rid of Lya and Alistair, except that he is trying to place a new order....

It keeps the reader animated, in the sense that while they do know the good guys will win, they want to know exactly how, given the strength of their enemy. So far in your story you made Osric seem pathetic while making Alistair and Lya seem very capable compared to him, or that is the feeling I got from reading.

Fair enough.  I understand what you're saying.  I could have fleshed out Osric and his motivations more, but I was planning it for it to come out during interactions with certain characters.  The idea is to have it done in such a way as to convince the reader as well as the character.  Perhaps that was a mistake, I don't know.  Will we learn more about him?  Yes, most definitely.  But I cannot make any guarantees that it will please anyone.

I will be first to admit that there are areas where I need to improve.  Good lord, do I know that.  I have always asked for constructive criticism along the way, and that is how I take what you're saying.  It is incredibly helpful to be forced to defend your decisions, as it seperates wheat from chaff and leaves better quality in its wake.  If I go back through later and rewrite some sections, I would need someone to pick apart the weaker things I've done (things that I'm not happy with especially b/c I know they are weak) and that would probably be an area I address.  If I do, you are more than welcome to kick my ass about some of my decisions. 

As a slight defense to my decisions, I will say that the story was always about Alistair/Lya and I will not apologize for that.  I love the characters and want to focus on them.  You won't get me to change that.  But, please, by all means, continue forcing me to make sure I stay on task.  If you are too annoyed to finish, I understand, and thank you for the feedback you've relayed so far.  I am always appreciative of true criticism and I consider what you've said to be that.  Truly, thank you.  Though I can hope you are not so annoyed as to stop reading entirely. 

[MelRedux]

It's about time you updated! *shakes fist*

[Costin_Razvan]

Perhaps that was a mistake, I don't know

In my opinion, I think it is good to write from the villains main perspective. What he feels about it, his motivation, his goal and his general plan ( not all the fine details though ). It adds a real depth towards the character. A depth he simply will not have if most of him in the story is detailed by other characters.

Though I can hope you are not so annoyed as to stop reading entirely.

Not really. I was just saying in hopes you might change how you write your future chapters. In fact in the case of many stories on FF, I had quite good arguments with many of the authors over their decisions.

[LadyDamodred]

Costin_Razvan wrote...

Perhaps that was a mistake, I don't know

In my opinion, I think it is good to write from the villains main perspective. What he feels about it, his motivation, his goal and his general plan ( not all the fine details though ). It adds a real depth towards the character. A depth he simply will not have if most of him in the story is detailed by other characters.

Though I can hope you are not so annoyed as to stop reading entirely.

Not really. I was just saying in hopes you might change how you write your future chapters. In fact in the case of many stories on FF, I had quite good arguments with many of the authors over their decisions.

*nods*  You will see his motivations, I guarantee that.  I happen to think they're pretty understandable/sympathetic, too, if you're looking at it from his angle.  That was always the plan, and like I said, I may not have released quite enough information about him.  It's tough to look outside your own head.  I know what's coming, and it's hard to divorce that knowledge when I'm writing and trying to pace things correctly.

I won't say I'll change how and/or when the chapters dealing with it are coming, but I hope you will like how they unfold.

[LadyDamodred]

In his confrontation with Alistair, he was genuinely shocked, which is something he's not used to feeling. It threw him off. Alistair also jumped to some hasty conclusions. Osric's reveal is coming, and while you might not agree with his motivations, I think they are understandable. That is how I want them to come off, and I think it will. We shall see. I could be horribly wrong.



I like being forced to defend my decisions. If I truly can't defend something, it probably shouldn't be there. And in defending them, they become tighter and better. I don't take offense to genuine contructive criticism. I take offense to 'this sucks and so do you, lol' and that hasn't happened at all. And critiquing can be something as simple as 'This doesn't seem to fit' and I have to look at it again and either do it better or scrap it. That can be incredibly helpful. And I'm glad you're still interested, and I hope you continue to be so.



And yes, my name is from the WoT series, though I've sort of stopped reading it. I loved books 1-6, and take the nick Moiraine wherever I can. It wasn't an option here, so Lady Damodred is my back up.

[Costin_Razvan]

he was genuinely shocked, which is something he's not used to feeling

Shock would probably be putting it mildly to what he probably felt.

I would never had let Alistair leave the fortress alive. Oh sure, the evidence would have been a hard blow against the wardens, but the Anderfels still are firmly under their control, and unless you can pull a magical bunny out of your hat, fighting a war against the Anderfels and their 1.000 Wardens with a weakened Fereldan, is probably going to end in disaster.

Still, I suppose it was a wise choice to let him walk out.

Modifié par Costin_Razvan, 28 mai 2010 - 04:09 .

[KnightofPhoenix]

It's not a problem, nor is it uncommon for the villain's motives to be revealed in the mid-story. That was the case with Saren Arterius and he was one of the best video game villains in recent memory. I like LD's way of dealing with Osric. Give little info, making people want to know more. Then the reveal. People can either go "Huh, well he isn't so bad afterall", or "I knew I should hate him". Hopefully it's the former.

And if I may say so, while risking to overstep my limits as I am not the writer, I do not consider Osric a villain, but an antagonist. One my character would have fought as well (albeit in a much more spectacular and ingenius manner of course )

Modifié par KnightofPhoenix, 28 mai 2010 - 04:20 .

[LadyDamodred]

Costin_Razvan wrote...

he was genuinely shocked, which is something he's not used to feeling

Shock would probably be putting it mildly to what he probably felt.

I would never had let Alistair leave the fortress alive. Oh sure, the evidence would have been a hard blow against the wardens, but the Anderfels still are firmly under their control, and unless you can pull a magical bunny out of your hat, fighting a war against the Anderfels and their 1.000 Wardens with a weakened Fereldan, is probably going to end in disaster.

Still, I suppose it was a wise choice to let him walk out.

There were other considerations involved with that decision.  I don't want to say too much for fear of spoilars.  I hope I haven't said too much as it is.  :x

Edit:  I am glad, though, that all this inspires discussion.  Hooray!

Modifié par LadyDamodred, 28 mai 2010 - 04:44 .

[Costin_Razvan]

Out of curiosity, in this story did the Architect die or was sparred?



Would be most interesting if he was sparred, just saying.

[LadyDamodred]

Longer chapter here, but no really good place to split it. Enjoy!
________________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 34

Kylon dropped to one knee as Alistair stood. "You Majesty. I have failed in my duty to you and I beg your forgiveness. I stand ready to face the consequences."

Alistair sighed. "Stand up, Captain. We don't have time for this."

Kylon looked up, uncertain. Alistair gestured impatiently for him to rise, which he did. "Your Majesty, I know how this must look…"

"Captain, we really don't have time for this. Listen carefully. I have mobilized several units of my army. They will be here to secure the palace and relieve the Royal Guard of duty. I will need you to direct them as to the best way to do that. I would also prefer it if you explained to the Guard what is happening. I don't think I'm the best person to do that right now."

For a moment, Kylon just looked at him. "Are you sure, your Majesty? If some of my men did have anything to do with the queen's disappearance, allowing me to have a role won't look very good."

"If?" Alistair grimaced. "Regardless, Kylon, I trust you. It may be misplaced at this point, but there it is. Not so long ago, you helped Lya and me by trusting us. Consider this repayment. I need you right now, so don't fail me again.

"Now, when the troops arrive, where do we start?"

They spent the next half hour detailing how best to set up the new protection for the palace, and deciding what to do with the guards on duty. It was finally decided that they would be confined in their barracks. Those guards who lived outside of the barracks would be quietly rounded up and brought back for interrogation.

Alistair looked to Zevran when the subject of questioning came up. "You will find me the answers I need," he said.

Zevran nodded. "You do realize, Alistair, what you are asking me to do?"

"I know."

"Very well, then. Do you wish to question any of them yourself?"

Alistair smiled slightly. "I don't think that would be a very good idea. I have a powerful need to hurt someone, and if I started I don't think I would be able to stop."

Kylon had grown pale during the exchange. "Your Majesty, please!" he protested. "These men are loyal! Some have been in service to the crown for years, under both your father and brother. Don't do this!"

Alistair gave Kylon a hard look. "What would you have me do? Clearly, not all of them are loyal and we need to know who they are. Unless you think they're going to be struck by a sudden pang of conscience and spill their guts."

The captain shifted, uncomfortable with both the thought of his men being tortured and arguing with his king about it. "And I'm telling you they're loyal, your Majesty," he said earnestly. "Pardon my insolence, but I know these men. I know their families. They would gladly die before letting any harm come to you and your family." Alistair's face tightened and Kylon hurried on. "If they have done what it looks like, those responsible were either never loyal from the start or they've been paid a lot of money. If any of those responsible are still here, they won't talk and you'll only be hurting innocent men and women. Let me talk to them, question them. They trust me. If you do this, you'll lose that loyalty."

"You know," Zevran said, tapping his chin thoughtfully, "that has potential: the brave commander protecting his men from the cruelties of a fiendish assassin. He can use me as a threat if they are not forthcoming with information. The anticipation of something terrible is often times more potent than the actual act.

He grinned. "And if not, then the things learned in my childhood can be put to good use, yes? He can also let it 'slip' that my more extreme measures are my own. That would protect your image in their eyes, and we would have multiple ways of breaking them and getting information."

"Do you think that will work?"

"For some of them, yes. Some men will break at the very mention of being racked, while others will never break under the worst of tortures. We seek information, not punishment. And the good captain is right that most of his men are innocent. But they may know things without being aware that they do. That is what we need to find."

"All right. Do what you think best."

"We should wait until they have all been secured and keep them from talking to one another. They will have to be watched closely in the barracks, and we can't do that until your troops arrive. I think for now, I will take Golanth and see what we can find. I will return as soon as possible."

The mabari, who had been pacing impatiently, immediately moved to the door. As soon as Zevran opened it, he bounded out, the elf close on his heels. Alistair watched them go, praying they would find something and that he hadn't waited too long.
________________________________________________________________________________________

Daevanya returned with a preliminary report just as the soldiers began to arrive. "She is not in the palace, your Majesty, unless she is somehow in a hidden passage or room of which we are unaware. At this point, we need to expand our search outside of the palace and throughout the city." Zevran agreed and left with Golanth, not wanting to waste any more time.

"We also found several bodies, your Majesty. No, not the queen," she hastened to assure him at his shocked look. "Four servants and one guard, to be exact. The servants were killed cleanly, broken necks or garroted. It would have been relatively quiet, and quick, with no mess to clean up. The guard appears to have been poisoned, at least partly. A single cut to the back of his neck. We think it was something to incapacitate him and then he was suffocated. Their bodies were all found hidden in little used storage rooms."

Alistair rubbed his face. "Why bother killing servants?"

"Because they were in the way, most likely; in the wrong place at the wrong time. The other possibility is that they were loose ends to be tied up." She shrugged a slim shoulder. "We simply don't know yet.

"We left the bodies where they are for now, and they are being watched to make sure they are not discovered. There don't appear to be any clues, but we're taking no chances. We also don't want to alarm too many people, yet. As soon as the bodies are revealed, the staff is likely to panic."

He closed his eyes to think. "All right." Looking up at Eamon and General Bredon who had arrived while Daevanya gave her report, he gestured to Kylon. "We've discussed how we're going to proceed. Kylon can advise you on how to direct your men. I don't want anyone leaving. The guards are going to be held in the barracks for now. If it's needed, some can always be moved to Fort Drakon later."

"Yes, your Majesty. What about the servants? Are they to be held anywhere as well?"

"Do we even have anywhere to keep them?"

"Not really, your Majesty. The palace was never designed to hold people like this. I would recommend letting the servants continue to work as normal. We can watch them and question them as needed."

Alistair nodded. "Then you have your orders, General."

"Yes, your Majesty." Bredon saluted and left.

Alistair sat back in his chair and looked at his friends. "Now what?"

"Now we wait, your Majesty," Daevanya said. "We're looking for information, but it will take time. When Zevran returns, he can fill us in on anything he found and then begin questioning people. You've done what you can for now. Let us do our jobs. You will know as soon as we find anything."

"Alistair?"

"Yes, Wynne?"

"You may want to write a letter to Fergus. When word spreads, it will travel quickly and it would be best if he heard it from you."

Maker's breath, he hadn't even thought about that. The thought of telling Fergus left him feeling sick. "Thank you, Wynne. I'll do that sometime today. I'd rather wait to know more first."
________________________________________________________________________________________

Zevran returned nearly two hours after he left, and his expression was grim. Golanth had led him out of the palace and through the city to the docks. The trail had led them to a pier that had held a fast merchant ship from Antiva. Zevran snorted at that. "Merchant," he muttered. "If that ship was a merchant I'll eat the dog's dinner."

Workers on the docks couldn't tell them much about the ship. The crew kept to themselves and hadn't caused any problems at the inns and taverns. They did say that the ship seemed to carry more guards than usual for a merchant vessel. It had left on the tide just after dawn and none of the crew had been left behind.

"We will do what we can, Alistair," Zevran said, "but they have the advantage. Not only do they have a head start, but we do not know where they are headed at the moment. If speed is their only concern, they may take a direct route to their destination. If they seek to throw us off the trail, they may choose a longer, more convoluted route. And it is possible they might meet with another ship at sea and transfer her. If that happens, we may have no way to track her at all. You should dispatch some of your ships to look, but I honestly don't expect they will be able to catch up to or find her ship.

"There is also the problem that she is being taken somewhere where it will be exceedingly difficult to track her. Outside of Ferelden we have very few contacts, though there are some I could still call upon in Antiva. And if Leliana were here, she might be able to help in Orlais, but…" He spread his hands. "That is not an option."

As slim a chance as it was, Alistair had hoped Lya was still in the city. At least then it would have been possible to rescue her. Zevran's information had killed that thought. "Do we even know if she's still alive?" he asked quietly.

Kade suddenly spoke up. "She's not dead." Everyone turned to look at him, but Kade's attention was fixed on Zevran. "Correct?" The elf hesitated for just a moment before nodding his agreement.

"How can you possibly know that?" Alistair asked.

"Because if they had wanted her dead, your Majesty, you would have woken up next to her corpse. They have proven that they can infiltrate the palace and move about with impunity, and it probably would have been easier to simply kill one or both of you. There is no reason to waste the time and effort needed to kidnap her and spirit her away if all they sought was her death. Whoever it was needs her alive for something. And as long as she remains useful to them, for whatever reason, we have the chance to find her.

"There could be several reasons why she was taken, but I suspect there are very few with the resources to pull this off. I would say you know better than anyone else here who probably took her and where they're going." He looked at Alistair calmly, and Alistair spoke what they all knew.

"The Wardens. Weisshaupt."

"Could the Wardens in Amaranthine be involved?"

"I don't know, Zev. We haven't heard a word from Nathaniel about something like this and he would have let us know if he suspected anything. Given what we know, I would guess this is all Osric."

"But why would they kidnap her, Alistair?" Wynne frowned. "I know you've told me you parted on bad terms with him, but what could he gain?"

Alistair and Zevran exchanged a look. They knew why Osric wanted Lya. "It's…complicated, Wynne."

Daevanya tilted her head thoughtfully. "Should we send people to Weisshaupt, then? We could perhaps intercept them on the road, or rescue her from the fortress if they make it that far."

"Without knowing where they're going, it would be impossible to catch them on the road." Alistair shook his head and laughed bitterly. He thought of all the threats he had thrown at Osric and realized how utterly absurd they must have seemed to the man. The only one that still had any power would probably just ensure Lya's death. "As for rescuing her from Weisshaupt, if that's indeed where they're going, you'll never get in."

"There's always a way in, your Majesty."

"Then you'll never get out." His lip curled in contempt. "Believe me, I know. There are hundreds of Wardens there. You'd never make it." Guilt wound through him as he wondered how much he was personally responsible for what was happening now. "We still need to confirm it, though, and find out if there is still any threat here. So…." He looked at Zevran and Kylon. "Go."

"Of course, Alistair."

"Yes, your Majesty."
________________________________________________________________________________________

The rest of day passed in agonizing slowness for Alistair. They converted the sitting room into a meeting area, allowing them to focus on the problem at hand: gathering information. Until they could confirm for certain that Lya had been taken by Grey Wardens, they couldn't discount any theory or possibility. They needed to know more.

Zevran had chosen his people for a reason and within hours information was trickling in, allowing them to piece together what had happened. No one had seen what happened to Lya in the palace, but in the streets there was always someone watching. A washerwoman reported seeing a refuse cart being wheeled away from the palace just before dawn. A couple of bakers were discovered to have seen the same thing, noting it only because it seemed a bit early for someone to be transporting things through dark city streets. There was only slightly more information to be found at the docks, mostly just detailing how long the ship had been there.

In the palace itself, three guards and four servants had turned up missing after a head count was done. Two of the guards had been the ones on watch outside the royal apartments when Lya disappeared, and the third had been partnered with the dead guard. The missing servants were harder to identify, particularly because they hadn't stood out among their peers as well. They had been quiet and efficient in their work and it had taken far longer for their absence to be noted.

Zevran and Kylon had begun questioning, and so far had come up with nothing. They reported that the guards seemed shocked and angry at what had happened, and most were giving up any and all information that they thought would help. Alistair was grateful for that, and that Zevran hadn't found the need to resort to more drastic actions yet. For all his talk, he was uncomfortable with torturing his own men. During a break, Zevran told him that letting the guards talk and hunt for traitors in their midst themselves might be useful and he agreed.

He also wrote the letter to Fergus, the words on the paper sounding hollow and insincere even to him.

As evening fell, Shaye emerged from the bedroom where she had gone to keep watch over the twins with Liadan. Her eyes were dark with worry as she approached him. "Alistair," she said quietly, "the children are asking about Lya. They want her and we can't calm them anymore." She gestured helplessly. "You need to tell them something."

Alistair got to his feet heavily, dreading what was to come. He let himself into his bedroom and motioned for Liadan to leave. She left quietly, pausing only to dip a brief curtsey. The twins were sitting on the floor, Golanth lying next to them. The mabari had settled into a fierce guard over them when he returned, and Alistair wondered if the dog felt as guilty as he did.

His children looked up as he entered and their little faces were solemn and tear-streaked. Duncan ran over as Alistair approached and threw himself around his father's legs. Alistair gently unwrapped him and lifted the boy into his arms. He carried Duncan over to Elwyn where he lifted her as well and brought them both to the bed. He settled onto it, tucking one child under each arm as he thought of what to tell them.

The children nestled against his sides, their discontent being soothed by their father's strong, loving arms. They sat like that for a little while before Elwyn finally broke the silence. "I want Mummy!" she said in a pleading tone and Duncan whimpered in agreement. Alistair's heart twisted in his chest and he blinked away the moisture that clouded his vision.

"Daddy has something very important that he needs to tell you, so I need you to pay very careful attention, all right?" The twins nodded and Alistair moved them until they were both settled in his lap facing him. The green of Duncan's eyes almost undid him and he prayed silently to get through this. Maker give him strength. He reached out to cup each of their faces in his hands.

"You know how Mummy and Daddy sometimes have to go away and take care of important things?" They nodded. "Well, Mummy had to go take care of some things. She had to leave quickly and that's why she didn't get to say goodbye. But she wanted me to tell you she loves you and she'll be back as soon as she can." He swallowed hard past the lump in his throat. "She loves you," he said again huskily.

The twins seemed satisfied by his answer, if not pleased, and settled down. He pulled them again his chest, taking what comfort he could in holding them, and wondered how long he would be able to keep lying to them.

Modifié par LadyDamodred, 28 mai 2010 - 08:49 .

[Costin_Razvan]

So you have Alistair admitting he was a fool. Nice, nice.

[LadyDamodred]

Costin_Razvan wrote...

So you have Alistair admitting he was a fool. Nice, nice.

Yes, well, we all have our moments.

And to answer your earlier question, no, she did not spare the Architect for a few reasons.

[Costin_Razvan]

Yes, well, we all have our moments.

His moment of wisdom only comes after his wife is kidnapped in his own palace.....'Tis why I can't sympathize with him.

Bhelen and Loghain are probably chuckling from their graves.

Modifié par Costin_Razvan, 28 mai 2010 - 09:35 .

[LadyDamodred]

Thank you for the positive feedback, everyone. I appreciate it! Enjoy!
________________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 35

Lya came back to consciousness slowly. Her head felt heavy and her whole body ached. She felt herself rocking and could smell salt. As she regained her faculties, she could felt the rope binding her hands behind her back and her feet together, as well as the cloth gag tied across her mouth. So it wasn't a dream. Damn.

She heard someone moving towards her and her eyes snapped open. The man who had been leaning over her took a quick step back with a muffled oath. Her eyes glared up at him, conveying all the anger she could muster. And then she felt that faint pulse from him, the taint streaming through his blood as it did hers. So Osric had finally made his move.

The Warden stepped back to her side and spread his hands in an appeasing gesture. "Please, your Majesty, I have no desire to make this trip anymore unpleasant than it has to be. I will remove your gag if you promise not to scream. It wouldn't do you any good and I confess a dislike to hearing women scream." Lya continued to glare at him, but jerked her head in assent. He reached over and gently untied the gag. She worked her jaws and ran her tongue over her dry lips, trying to get moisture back into them.

Lya struggled into a sitting position, and surprisingly, the man helped her. She looked around the small cabin. It was neat and well-appointed, with late afternoon light streaming through the porthole. It seemed the First Warden spared no expense for this little adventure. She turned her attention to her captor. He was an average man. Average height, average build, average features; completely unremarkable save for the dark skin that marked him as Rivaini. He wore nondescript leather armor and carried a sword and dagger. He watched her take stock of him and finally asked, "So, do I pass inspection?"

"Sadly, yes," she said calmly. She could feel the berserker rage in her, twisting and fighting to get out and she grimly forced it back down. In battle it was an asset, but here could prove to be her undoing. "You do realize you're going to die, don't you?"

The man chuckled. "Come now, your Majesty, you're hardly in a position to be making threats. We're both reasonable people. Why don't we simply be civil about this? We are going to be traveling together for awhile and I see no reason we can't get along."

"Don't you?" she asked quietly. She let a sweet smile curve her lips, the same one she reserved for stubborn banns who wore out her patience. "I apologize if you thought I was threatening you. That was not my intention at all. I was merely informing you of what was going to happen. For your kindness, I thought it was the least I could do."

The man sighed. "Your Majesty, please, I will ask one more time. Can we not be civil? There is no reason for us to be at odds while we are together. Things will be far more pleasant if you cooperate."

"Will they? Shall we sit and have tea then, perhaps discuss the weather? Or maybe we could discuss current fashion. I always find that a fascinating subject." Her eyes narrowed. "You have abducted me from my home and family. I have no idea if my husband and children even live or if I will ever see them again. I am being taken somewhere, presumably to be held as a hostage, interrogated or both. And you expect me to be civil?" she asked scornfully.

"I expect you to be everything I've been told about you," the man said, a thread of irritation coloring his voice. Then he sighed. "I understand you have every reason to be angry at your current situation, but I am not the one to discuss it with. My job is simply to make sure you arrive at your destination safely. I see no need for me to be cruel in the process. As for your family, unless others were acting on different orders that I do not know about, they are unharmed. As for what will happen to you, I cannot say. The decision will not be mine."

Lya said nothing, her lips pressed together in a firm line. Loath as she was to admit it, he was right. She gained nothing by antagonizing this man. She recalled the Wardens who had come with Alistair when he returned from Weisshaupt. He had gained their trust by being personable and approachable. While she didn't have his effortless charm that so often won people over, being far more comfortable as a commander and leader, she could do it. She wished now that she had had the patience to learn Alistair's templar training. It would be very useful to focus and call upon that stillness of mind.

"I apologize, Warden," she finally said. "Let's just say that I'm out of sorts at the moment. You have been kinder than I could expect for our situation and I thank you for that." She dipped her head towards him.

"Thank you, your Majesty. I confess I do not know if I could be as gracious in your position. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Alvarro."

"And my name is Lya, though you know that of course. If you truly want to put me at ease, use it. For some reason, I find it grates on my nerves when people refuse to refer to me by anything other than a title."

He smiled broadly at her. "Very well, Lya. I am glad we could come to an understanding. Now let me go over a few rules." She quirked an eyebrow at him. "Believe me when I say these rules are designed for your protection. First, do not attempt to escape. We are at sea and there is no where you can go. The crew will not help you, so attempting to subvert them will only lead to me having to confine you. Secondly, please do not attack myself or the crew. Not that you will be allowed a weapon, but you are nothing if not resourceful. We have heard stories of your prowess, and if your husband's abilities were anything to go by, you are one of the most skilled blades in all of Thedas. Any fight would be decidedly one-sided, but I doubt you would be able to kill all of us. I might not be able to guarantee your safety in that situation." He allowed himself a small smile. "It is also decidedly difficult to sail a ship all by yourself. Thirdly, I ask you not to harm yourself in any way. That would also lead to confining you."

Her jaw dropped open, unable to hide her shock. "Why in Andraste's name would I harm myself?"

"I say it merely as a precaution, Lya. Some people…make rash decisions in a position such as yours. I do not think you are the type of person to do so, but I wanted to be clear. I think those are all the rules we need to go over for now. There will be a few more once we dock, but we can discuss them then. Do I have your word that you will follow them?"

Lya did not hesitate to answer. "Yes." She tried to be an honest person, but when the lives of those she loved were on the line, she had no compunction about using whatever advantage she could. She would follow his rules as long as it benefitted her.

Alvarro looked at her for a long moment before carefully unsheathing his dagger and cutting her bindings. "I'll accept that. For now, you might want to get changed into something more comfortable." He moved back to the desk he had been leaning on to pick up a backpack on the floor next to it and handed it to her.

She took the pack, frowning, and opened it. Inside were an assortment of tunics and trousers. As she examined them, she realized something else. "These are all mine," she said slowly, looking back up at Alvarro.

"Yes," he said. "I arranged to have some of your things brought with you in order to make you more comfortable." Lya looked at the clothes in disbelief. To know these people had been close enough to kill her family was horrific enough, but the thought of them going through her things, picking and choosing pieces of her life to take, made her feel sick. She closed her eyes against the nausea, willing it away. He was trying to upset her, throw her off-balance.

"Thank you," she said, cursing the raggedness of her voice, the unsteadiness she couldn't mask. He watched her reaction and nodded, and then left the small cabin so she could get changed in privacy. She did so hurriedly, noting that her stab wound had been smeared with a poultice and carefully bound. It was nearly healed by now, and was unlikely to even leave a scar. It gave her hope that Alvarro had been telling the truth. No need to keep your prisoner healthy if you intended to kill them.

After stowing her dress in the pack, she checked the cabin. He had been careful. There was nothing she could use as a weapon, not an effective one at any rate. Attacking him while still on the ship would be a bad idea, but she hated being in a hostile situation with nothing to defend herself. She would bide her time, and look for an opportunity if one ever came.

***

They remained aboard the ship for nine days. During the entire trip, Alvarro was nothing but respectful and courteous. He escorted her on deck for fresh air when the weather permitted. He brought her meals, made sure her clothes were clean and proved to be a surprisingly delightful conversationalist. Lya fought the urge to be lulled into complacency by it. She carefully avoided any topic of conversation that could possibly imply any weakness, firmly keeping in front of her the fact that he would use it against her.

She was surprised at his interest in her struggles against both the Blight and in Amaranthine. She found herself recounting the events and her impressions of things and she finally asked why he wanted to know so much from her directly when plenty had been written on the subject.

He looked thoughtful. "I suppose I am curious because you have had more experience with darkspawn than any other Warden. Whatever the reasons we are here now, I am still a Grey Warden. I am truly interested in defeating the darkspawn and in hearing the stories of a Warden who has faced them from the source." Lya had mulled that over, filing the information away for later. It might not prove useful, but one never knew.

They eventually docked in an unknown town and Alvarro waited until nightfall before gathering their things and escorting her off the ship. As they crossed the deck under a moonless night, Lya felt the faint pull of the taint and stiffened. The gentle pressure of Alvarro's hand on her back kept her moving down the gangplank. Waiting at the end of the pier for them were five more Grey Wardens and two horses. Alvarro tied their belongings to his horse while the other Wardens watched her swing up into the saddle of her mount.

Lya studied them as they rode. It was a stern group, and they were all clearly competent. They had finely crafted weapons and armor and Lya knew they weren't for show. They were there to make sure she got to her destination. The group included a mage and an archer, so if she tried taking off, they would be able to take her down without much effort. The warriors and rogues wouldn't be a problem if she could get her hands on some armor and a weapon. She gritted her teeth and forced herself to relax. There was nothing she could do right now.

The Wardens did not stay in town. Instead the small party rode through and beyond it, traveling for a handful of hours before Alvarro pulled up. He led the group off the road to a small, well-sheltered clearing. The rest of the Wardens immediately began to make camp.

Alvarro approached her and held out a hand, which she accepted to dismount. He gestured towards the Wardens who were busy setting up. "They will take care of getting everything ready. But I wanted to go over those few other rules I mentioned on the ship. Please, do not attempt to escape. You wouldn't get far and we would have to bring you back by force. As good as we are, there is the chance that you could be grievously harmed if you resisted. Do not make us do that."

"Not to mention the First Warden would probably not be happy if you brought be to Weisshaupt crippled or dead."

"Well, there is that, but I am more concerned about your well-being. I do not want to hurt you.

"Also, you will not attempt to attract any attention or notice when we go through or stop in any town. Do not try to tell anyone that you are the queen of Ferelden or a Grey Warden or a prisoner. If you do…"

"You'll have to confine me."

"Yes." For his part, Alvarro did seem truly regretful about having to threaten that. Lya struggled to remember that she was a prisoner and he her captor. He was playing a part, just as she was by pretending to be the meek captive.

"And please, please, do not attack any of us. We are going to be pushing hard, and that will be more difficult if we have to tie you across the saddle."

"I understand."

"Thank you. We will afford you as much privacy as possible, but I'm sure you understand that we cannot leave you alone. We will be respectful, I assure you."

Lya sighed. "I understand."

Alvarro nodded. "I was sure you would. We'll eat shortly and then allow you to get some rest. Tomorrow will be a long day."

***

Lya settled back in the tub and sighed. When Alvarro said she wouldn't be left alone, he had meant exactly that. That first night, she had been provided a tent. Throughout the course of the night, the three female Wardens took turns watching her. That had been repeated every night since. During the day, she rode in the middle of the party, all of the Wardens surrounding and watching her. When she needed to relieve herself, one of the women always came with her. When they washed up in small streams or lakes, or when they stopped at an inn, like they were now, there was always someone watching her bathe.

She looked over at the Warden standing against the wall, watching her with a disinterested eye. It wasn't that she was embarrassed or uncomfortable. She had gotten over that a long time ago. But now there was always someone with her, every single minute; she didn't have a single moment alone.

Reflecting on it, she realized she had never truly been alone since her last night in Highever. Ever since then there had always been someone, usually more than one, nearby. She had had space, though; times when she could go off by herself and just be alone. It didn't matter that there would be someone watching for her return, or would go after her if she did not, she always had some time for herself.

There was none of that now. It was unsettling to be constantly watched, to have people always looking for some sign that she wasn't behaving or had decided to stop playing nice. It was made worse by the fact that except for Alvarro, none of them would talk to her. They would talk amongst themselves, quietly, but fell silent when she joined the group. A question would be answered in as few words as possible if not ignored entirely. It was irritating, which was the entire point, and she kept trying to maintain a calm façade.

Sighing, she pushed up and stepped out of the tub, reaching for a cloth to dry herself with. The Warden, Saraid her name was, watched clinically, a slight frown creasing her brow as she noticed the scar on Lya's hip.

Lya noted the look, and ran a thumb almost fondly over the perfectly circular two inch scar. "Archdemon," she said pleasantly. "They bite." Lya recall the sickening lurch of her stomach as the archdemon had tossed her into the air and caught her in its jaws, the pain as a tooth found its way through the joins of her armor. The wound had healed, but not even Wynne's skill had been able to remove the scar.

She ran her thumb over it once more and ignored the slight widening of Saraid's eyes to get dressed in the leather armor Alvarro had provided that first morning after they broke camp. It was a small victory to be able to surprise any of them and she would take what she could get.

Saraid escorted her down to the common room where the group would eat yet another near-silent meal. And the Warden escorted her back upstairs once it was done. Surprisingly, Alvarro followed them up and gestured for Saraid to leave so he could talk to her in private.

"Once we leave in the morning, we'll only be a few days from Weisshaupt. I know this last month has been tiring, but we'll be pushing harder than we have been."

"It's nothing I can't handle."

Alvarro grinned. "I've noticed that. Still, I wanted you to be prepared. Get as much rest as you can tonight. It's likely to be in short supply in the near-future."

"Thank you. I appreciate it."

He nodded and turned to leave, but hesitated before the door. He turned back to look at her and pursed his lips in thought. "I probably shouldn't say this, but Weisshaupt can be overwhelming. Do not let it, and the First Warden, cow you. Remember who you are and draw strength from it."

Lya frowned. "Why are you telling me this? I would think Osric would disapprove of you trying to help me."

"Maybe, maybe not. The First Warden is a complicated man and he does not respect weakness. I thought you should be warned." He paused. "I also happen to like you. My duty here doesn't mean I have to hate or dislike you. I will bring you to Weisshaupt, and I would capture you again if you tried to escape, but there is nothing that says I can't give a fellow Warden a piece of advice."

"I…." She wasn't sure how to respond. "Thank you, I think. If nothing else I appreciate the thought."

"You're welcome." Alvarro tipped his head in a respectful little salute and opened the door to allow Saraid back in. Lya settled back into the narrow bed, thinking. From what Alvarro said, she could show no weakness at Weisshaupt, not unless she wanted it exploited by Osric. She settled down, willing herself to sleep, knowing she would need it in the weeks to come.

They made Weisshaupt late on the third day, the winter snows slowing them more than Alvarro would have liked. The roads were mostly clear, but the extra time meant they did not arrive until after the sun had set.

In the darkness, lights burned in windows of the fortress. Lya couldn't see the entire structure very well, but she was able to get a general sense of size. It was massive, cut into the very rock face to rise high and imposing above them.

She swallowed hard. It would be easier to tell in the daylight, but from what she could see, the word impregnable didn't seem to come close to describing Weisshaupt accurately. She thought back to what she would have done if Alistair hadn't come back. Stupid, stupid little fool, she thought, clenching her teeth around the hysterical laugh that was caught in her throat.

Hopes of escaping, or of having someone come to her rescue, died as they drew closer. The party dismounted in the courtyard, a handful of grooms coming to take to horses. The Wardens formed up around her as they mounted the steps, moving towards the entrance. As the massive doors swung open to admit them, Alvarro stepped up behind her.

"Welcome to Weisshaupt," he murmured, his words as much a greeting as a warning.

[Miri1984]

Now, time to start gathering allies Lya! Fiona is there! Alvarro sounds like a decent sort! Go woman, go!

[LadyDamodred]

We all died around book 8. I swear, I cannot bring myself to finish 11, and I've tried. It's just...ugh.



And why sad face for killing the Architect?

[Miri1984]

I managed book 9, but couldn't go any further than that. The first two were awesome though.

[LadyDamodred]

1-5 were relatively excellent. After that... *sighs* And I loved it so at one time. *weeps queitly*